Be With Me
by ali1122
Summary: Imagine keeping a secret from your best friend for years, a best friend with whom you've always been open with...What happens when after years of keeping her feelings to herself, Bella finally admits she is inlove with Edward? Will he feel the same way?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Scheduling

Scheduling time at the University of Forks was always stressful and hectic, especially when the majority of the classes filled up extremely fast. By the time my enrollment time rolled around, most classes were already closed, forcing me to once again, rearrange and create a new schedule and so came the consequence of being a college sophomore. I couldn't imagine anyone being excited over scheduling, except my sister of course. Alice was excited about anything, no matter how stressful or unnecessary she thought something was, overall she was bubbly and overexcited for everything.

My best friend, Edward Cullen, was inbetween when it came to scheduling. He didn't really care when he scheduled as long as he enrolled in the classes he actually needed. Lucky for him, he had priority scheduling so that was never a problem for him. And knowing how stressed I was over my classes, he took every opportunity to tease me for it. Then again, he wouldn't be Edward if he didn't. Edward and I were very close, which came from knowing each other for years. Now, don't get me wrong, my sister and I are very close as well, but the bond Edward and I had was different. It was special.

It was the same way for Alice and her boyfriend, Jasper Hale ,who just happened to be Edward's cousin. Edward's brother, Emmett Cullen was dating mine and Alice's cousin, Rosalie. So you see, our group was connected every which way and everyone was dating, except for Edward and I of course. For some, I'd say, it wasn't always easy being around an entire group of couples with all the hormones flying around and being one of two single being in that group but with Edward, it was easy. It was always just natural being around him and talking to him and just being myself around him. I'd never experienced that around any other guy, which always made me wonder, when did I fall in love with Edward Cullen? Yes, I was inlove with my best friend and no, he did not know about it. I never had to courage to admit it to him. Hell, I was only now admitting it to myself. It's safe to say, hanging around Edward without telling him how I truly felt grew more difficult as time went by.

I got up not too long after I'd noticed my clock flashing 7:00 am, my scheduling time. Great-I thought. After logging in through the U-portal, I was able to, very slowly, pull up my list of tentavive classes, knowing after last night my final selection was available to me. I hit the enroll button and several second later, my spring semester of classes had become official. It was like weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I sighed in relief. It was finally settled. I was just about to grab my phone to messasge Edward when Alice came running into my room. For someone who had probably just woken up, she was a little bit too bubbly. Could you really expect anything else from her-I thought.

"BElLA!" she exclaimed, taking a seat on the edge of my bed seeming unable to sit still.

I smiled at her. "Good morning Alice, sleep well?" I asked. I honestly loved her bubbly personality no matter how over the top she could be.

"Yes, extremely well..." she paused, clearly stopping herself midsentence. Her smile beaming from her face made it a little too obvious she had news she just needed to share.

"Alice, you look like you're going to burst any minute. Tell me what you know you're dying to tell me!"

"Jasper and I have officially been together for five years!" I couldn't help but laugh because she had talked about it non stop for 10 hours the other day. There clearly was more to her news.

"Alice, that's awesome! I'm so happy for you guys!" I smiled.

"I know, thank you," she started. "And, well, I think I'm pregnant!"

Knowing Alice and how she could be, I already knew she wasn't just thinking she was pregnant, but she already knew about it. I also knew, being her sister and all, that she probably was coming to me with no problems about it becasuse she already had things figured out; if not, well, Alice might've had a melt down. Lucky for her though, she was already graduating from the University this spring and Jasper had already graduated the previous year. It was Edward and I who were only in our sophomore years while Rosalie and Emmett were juniors.

"Alice, are you sure?" I had to ask.

"As positive as the four pregnancy tests I took this morning! Isn't it great?" Four pregnancy tests?

"It is, believe me I'm happy for you but I'm also worried at the same time. I am your sister after all," I couldn't help but worry about her. She may be older, but I was the one known to worry over everything and this was something to be concerned with.

"Well no worries Bella, with the wedding being five months away and with me and Jasper moving in together, everything is going to work out just fine."

Wedding? Moving out? What? I never even knew they were engaged let alone she planned on leaving me alonein this incredibly large apartment. "Wait, since when are you and Jasper engaged and why is this the first I'm hearing about all these plans that are working themselves out?"

While hands down I was extremely happy for my sister, I was now starting to feel extremely overwhelmed with all of this new information. My sister was engaged, getting married, moving out. There was so much to be done.

'Ok...engaged as of 3 months ago. Sorry, don't freak out. We were keeping it on the DL. As for roommate replacement, why not Edward? He will end up needing a new roommate after all..." of course she would recommend Edward. The idea seemed amazing to me and all, but seeing him was already difficult for me. Who knew how hard it would be if we lived under the same roof together. I couldn't blame Alice though, I wasn't sure if she knew how much I loved Edward. Even so, she did constantly push me to ask him out before it was too late. And when I say every chance, I meant it. It was nonstop; but when Alice put her mind to something, she refused to let it go.

"Edward, really Alice?"

"Why not? You two are best friends. It'd be great..." she smiled.

"Don't you mean somewhat awkward?" I couldn't deny how appealing this idea was starting to become for me. I just didn't know how it would play out or exactly how Edward would take it. Considering he wasn't in love with me, he would love it.

"It's only awkward if one or both of you have feelings for the other...you don't have feelings for Edward...do you?" I knew she was trying to get me to admit it. She was so annoyingly obvious!

"Alice, let's not go there today, ok? When are you moving out and do you need help with the wedding?"

As soon as I mentioned the wedding, she was beaming, once again. "Yes I do! With you being my maid of honor-whether you like it or not-there will be lots to be done. You and Edward need to get together to plan one huge party, though I'll give you the list of dos and don'ts; that was Jasper's idea so that I don't overdo anything, being pregnant and all. But I'll be moving out in two weeks. Short notice, but you're off today and so is Edward so you two need to start planning." I've definitely been out of the loop on all of this. From everything she said, it was safe to assume Edward was already informed about the wedding at least.

"Yes ma'am." I said as I saluted her. "I'll get a hold of Edward right now and we'll get to planning. Oh, and leave your list by my door so that we don't do anything that's against the rules." She scowled at me and headed toward the door, knowing I was teasing her. She loved it though.

My day wasn't looking as simple as I had hoped it would be. With all the school work that had been floating around in my mind and with work, I needed a break. This was for Alice though, so I would do anything as long as she was happy. I took my phone out, got ahold of Edward's number and texted him.

~~Hey, you awake?~~B

A few minutes later, I got a response.

~~I am now..lol Ever heard of sleeping in?~~E

~~Yes I have actually...I had to schedule though lol Are you busy today?~~B

~~Not that I know of, what did you have in mind?~~E

~~I'll meet you at The Cafe in an hour for breakfast?~~B

~~You're really not gonna let me sleep? lol Alright, let me get cleaned up and I'll meet you over there~~E

~~Sounds good, see you then~~B

With that, I set on to getting myself cleaned up and ready. In an hour, I'd be seeing Edward, asking him to be my roommate which I was freaking out about, and informing him of our new party plans that we have to create. And on top of that, something I've never worried or stressed over before was finding something to wear to see Edward. I wanted to look great for him which meant I had to resort to Alice's help. This could only result in torture...I was sure of this.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Meeting

I had to make sure I got everything ready in time to be at The Cafe within the hour. I was never late. I made sure of that and I wasn't about to start now, not with Edward. Withing 45 minutes, everything I needed to get done, was done and I had to disentangle myself from Alice to get out of there or I would've been late. I was grateful, however, that she was nice enough to help me look nice for Edward. I didn't tell her that was why though.

The Cafe wasn't too far away from out apartment, which was fortunate for me. I ended up getting there only 5 minutes early, only to see Edward already sitting there with breakfast for the both of us at the table. He was so sweet!

I walked in and started to head over to the table when I saw a blonde girl take her place next to him. Thankfully, he hadn't spotted me so I went over to the corner to see what was going on. It appeared, from what I could see, that I had stupidly assumed the other meal was for me when in reality, it belonged to this blonde girl. I defintely made plans with just Edward today...so what was going on? Who was this girl? I defintely had never seen her before and yet here she was, getting a little too close to comfort with Edward. What amazed me...or I should say bothered me even more was that he didn't seem to mind how close she was getting at all. In fact, he was returning the gestures and the closeness. He was stroking her cheek with the tip of his fingers while whispering something into her ear; whatever it was had her giggling and moving even closer to him. How much closer could you get! Could this really be happening? I looked once more over at Edward and this girl to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me. They weren't, unfortunately. They was Edward, with this strange blonde girl-at least strange to me-making out with her. It made me sick to my stomach to see this.

I quickly took a seat, keeping myself out of sight. I could feel my breath slowly picking up with an unknown tension builiding in my chest. I couldn't breathe. At some point I must have started crying because I could feel the tears slowly moving down my face. This was awlful. I needed to get out of here and fast. I quickly took my phone out to text Alice, who I knew would not have a problem sneaking over here and helping me make an exit unnoticed.

-Alice, I need you. NOW!-B

I had no idea how much time had passed since I sent her that message. The tension that had been building in my chest had grown worse and I was desperately trying to get through it. I hoped I would. Finally though, I felt my phone go off and checked to see if it was Alice. Thankfully, it was.

-Where are you? What's going on?-A

-I'm at the Cafe, I need a fast escape without being noticed. Can you run over here so you could drive my car back?-B

-Back or front exit?-A

I looked around. the Cafe. If I had gone out the front, most likely Edward would notice I was there and say something and that was if he was done locking lips with the blonde. However, with him being faced towards the forward and with a wall blocking his view of the back, I could make a fast escape. I just needed an employee to let me through the back.

-Definitely back exit!-B

-Ok, I'll be there within 5 minutes...but then you're going to explain this. And no leaving out details!-A

After sending my last message, I noticed the time. I was technically fifteen minutes late from the time I said I would meet with him. What bothered me the most of this, aside from the fact that I hated being late even though I techincally wasn't, was that Edward did not even notice I wasn't there. That said a lot to me and it was then that I knew nothing would ever happen with us. Not even if I had mustered up the courage to tell him today. Even though we were best friends and he had led me to believe time and time again that he cared about me, even as a friend, today showed that a girl would trump whatever feeling he had towards me. I was not important to him and his dismissal of the time and my absense told me that.

I quickly started trying to get my breathing under control, at least long enough so that I could talk to an employee. Lucky for me, one was over at the boothe next to me clearing the table.

"Excuse me," I whispered to him. He was tall, muscular and had short, spikey black hair.

He looked over at me and smiled. "Yes?"

"Do you think you could help me with something?" I asked, still whispering over to him. I couldn't risk being loud enough for Edward to notice I was there.

He walked over to my booth and took a seat. " I can try, but why are we whispering?"

"Because it's just easier this way...can you let me out the back? I need a fast escape."

"Hmm...well technically only employees are allowed in the back. But I can make an exception since I am the manager." He smiled at me.

"Thank you...so much! I'll owe you big time!" We got up, and slowly made our way to the back...unnoticed! When we got to the back exit, Alice was already there waiting for me. Before she could drag me away from the Cafe, I turned back to my rescuer to thank him.

"Seriously, thank you." I said to him.

"No problem, but don't forget, you owe me...what's your name?" O great. I guess I had this coming anyway.

"Bella Swan and your?"

"Jacob Black," he said, taking my hand to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you...I'll be seeing you around I hope."  
I shook my head in agreement. " I do owe you."

With that, Alice dragged me off to find my car which happened to be parked two blocks away. My breathing had calmed down in the time I got Jacob to help me to the point I was with Alice. The pain in my chest still remained but at least I was breathing again.

"So, spill," Alice didn't beat around the bush with what just happened.

"Ok, I texted Edward after you and I talked this morning. We were supposed to meet at 8:30 at the Cafe." I started but had to stop. I remembered what I had seen and what I would have to repeat to Alice and that pain in my chest reacted ten fold.

"Ok, so why did you need a rescue from Edward? I don't get it."

"I never ended up meeting with Edward, Alice. When I was walking in I noticed food already on the table, thinking he had ordered for me which he has done before. Before I could go over there some blonde took the seat next to him and started picking at the food," just talking about them made me sick. I wanted to crawl into my bed and just lay there and be alone.

"Bella...are you alright?" Alice sounded concerned. With all that was going through my mind, I never realized we had stopped. "Bella, take slow breaths, you're fine..." Apparently my breathing had gotten worse too and the tears had already betrayed me and started to fall. I guess there was no more hiding my true feelings for Edward, not anymore. Not with Alice trying to her best to keep me in one piece.

"I'm...I'm fine...I just ...I need to get my breathing back under control." I answered her. Some time passed though neither one of us said anything. We just sat in my car with Alice holding me; I'd never needed my big sister to keep me together, until now. I was pathetic.

"Ok, I think I'm ok now. " I said, slowly sitting up in my seat.

"Bella...why didn't you ever tell me how much you loved Edward? If I had known...I probably would've told you he started casually seeing a girl last month," she paused, waiting for my reaction. "Her name is Tanya; that's probably who you saw him sitting with."

"A month! My best friend has been seeing someone for an entire month and didn't bother to tell me? We tell each other everything!" I felt betrayed. I knew it was stupid, he was never mind to begin with. But as soon as a girl came into his life, I was always the first one he went to. Always. And now, I find out about it on the day I highly considered finally telling Edward I was inlove with him. It bothered me even this morning that for three months my own sister kept an engagement from me. This seemed to be a pattern picking up with the people I loved in my life. I'm becoming last to know everything. " This is not happening! And for him to not even look at the time when I was supposedly late! Ugh!"

"YOU were late?" Alice sounded surprised.

"Not technically, I was five minutes early but when I saw them practically attacking each other I hid. And then I ended up being fifteen minutes late for all he knew. But he never budged. He never wondered what was keeping me at all Alice."

"That doesn't sound like Edward, at all. I can't believe it." Alice was just as surprised as I was at Edward's behavior. It really wasn't like him.

"I don't care right now Alice, I just can't think clearly right now. I don't want to talk to him right now."

"Hmm..."

"What?" I looked up at her, whiping away the tears that had been falling down my face.

"I just didn't realize you loved him so much, I feel terrible for not really noticing."

"I'm in love with him Alice, I've just been too much of a chicken to notice and look at what I get. He has someone, whether its been a month or a day. He has someone who has his full attention. But don't worry about me. You need to not be stressed out, it's not good for the baby." I gave her a hug and got out of my car.

"Hey Bella?" Alice called to me, still sitting in my car.

"Yes Alice?"

"I'm going to assume you still haven't eaten breakfast and I'm starving...you mind if I drive your car over and get us both some breakfast to go?"

I smiled at her. "It's a great idea." I walked up to her and handed her a 20 from my purse. "My treat." She smiled at me, nodded and drove away. Now I just had to sit and wait in the apartment for her to get back. When I got in, I checked my phone for any messages. A part of me hoping Edward would eventually notice I never showed up but my phone was clear. Edward did not notice that about two hours have gone by now since I "didn't show up. This was not the Edward that I knew and loved.


	3. Chapter 3 & 4

Chapter 3-On A Mission

APOV

Today had started out as such an amazing day, as always. My life was slowly forming itself together in a way I would've never expected; it was better than I could've expected. Not only was I getting married to the love of my life, but I was also pregnant! I couldn't believe it! Now I could plan the wedding and a baby shower! I love throwing parties!

Not telling Bella about my engagement for 3 months was definitely difficulty because how could I not tell my sister! Each day of those 3 months I almost spilled out the information, but I made a deal with Jasper. It was more of a bet. He thought I couldn't keep a secret so we ended up throwing days and weeks and even months out to see how long I could go not telling. We probably would've gone longer but I couldn't do it. I caved.

Once I told Bella about...EVERYTHING...I felt great, especially since she wasn't too mad at me. I knew she wouldn't stay mad long though so it was ok. It ended up going great. Everything was going the way I had hoped until I received Bella's S.O.S. She needed me to come to her rescue and I was there. She ended up meeting me in the back of The Cafe with one of the workers, who wasn't too bad on the eyes. I made sure to remember the conversation they exchanged as I tried whisking her away from the area. So no only did she need me to come get her, which at first I did not understand but she also needed the help of a staff member to get out of there. I never saw her react this way...I had to know what was going on.

In the car I noticed Bella breathing heavily, totally unlike her. Something serious must have happened to trigger such a reaction. What though? And that was when it all made sense. As soon as she mentioned seeing Edward with another girl...no. I should say when she saw Edward kissing another girl, she lost it. And Bella wasn't known for having panic attacks.

"I just didn't realize you loved him so much, I feel terrible for not really noticing." I said to her after she told me everything that happened. I really did feel horrible. I was supposed to be her big sister yet here I was too wrapped up in my wedding and pregnancy to see how my sister had fallen for Edward. I suspected her liking him before but to love him...no, to be in love with him to the point that seeing him with another girl drives her straight to a panic attack...that I should've known. Bad Alice...and I never thought I would think that. Bad Bella maybe, but not Bad Alice.

"I'm in love with him Alice, I've just been too much of a chicken to notice and look at what I get. He has someone, whether its been a month or a day. He has someone who has his full attention. But don't worry about me. You need to not be stressed out, it's not good for the baby." I couldn't beleive she had told me not to worry about her. Silly. This had "my business" written all over it! Which is what led me to my scheme of getting us breakfast at the Cafe. And Edward better still be there!

I watched as Bella entered the apartment building, wanting to go in with her to keep her company but first I had business to settle. I was on a mission. Even though Bella had given me money to get us both breakfast, my first priority was finding out what was going on. Even though I knew about his new fling from last month, I was under the impression it was over. So who was this girl? And why hadn't Edward told Bella about that other girl to begin with? She was right; nothing Edward ever did went without him telling Bella about it. So this was unusual and pissing me off.

I parked my car just outside of the cafe and headed inside, first toward the counter to make an order for Bella and myself. Through the corner of my eye I had noticed Edward, so he was still in fact here. Three hours now, really? The blonde girl looked different from the one Jasper had described to me, so this must have been a new girl he had his hands all over. Ugh, poor Bella. Watching this was making me sick and I'm not even in love with the guy. I turned back to the counter, trying hard to avoid looking over at Edward...he was so not my favorite person right now. I barely even noticed my turn at the register.

"Miss? Excuse me, Miss?" the gentleman said. Hey, he looked familiar! "What could I get for you today?"

"I'm sorry, I must be in my own little world today," I said, giggling. "Let's see, I think I'll have two house salads and two waters to go. O, and you may want to throw in a chocolate chip cookie also." That cookie was mine; I hadn't even been far long into my pregnancy and I craved a chocolate chip cookie already.

"Alright, that will be 15.90 please." He took the 20 and started getting my change. As he handed it to me he had a strange look on his face. "Hey, you're that girl from earlier right? The girl who dragged Bella off?" Oh, so this is why he looked familiar! This was that Jacob Black character.

"Actually, yes I am. But I usually go by Alice." I extended my hand out to shake his.

"I thought you looked familiar," he hesitated. "Do you think I can get her number from you...I can't exactly get any favors from her if I don't have a way of getting in touch with you, you know?"

I looked at him thoughtfully. "Just what kind of favor are you trying to think of buddy? She is my sister you know!"

He smiled. "Not that type of favor, I assure you. I'd like to take her out some time. Just an innocent night out for dinner..."

"Alright, give me a paper and I'll give you her number. But if you try anything, that'll be the last move you make understood?" Hey, I had to do my part as big sister since she was always looking out for me, right? As he handed a paper and I wrote down her number, my order was done and I was ready to be on my way. One more thing though before I made my exit. Edward.

I looked over at his table and he was no alone, looking at his phone. He looked as though he was typing a message. I wonder who it could be for? Hmm...

"This seat taken?" I asked him, sitting down anyway without waiting for his answer. He looked extremely surprised to see me here.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" Really? That's all he had to say? What am I doing here? Silly Edward.

"Getting breakfast, what most people would be doing. And you? Was that Tanya I saw with you?"

He looked down, slightly smiling. "No, I ended that last week. That's a new friend of mine, her name's Jessica. We met two nights ago."

"You're that friendly with someone you just met?" Definitely not the Edward Bella and I grew up around.

"I guess so, it's really not a big deal Alice." He looked over at his phone as though expecting a response from someone.

"Am I boring you?" I asked as I pointed to his cell phone when he looked at me wondering why I had asked such a question.

"Oh, no. Sorry Alice you're not," he hesitated. "It's just, I lost track of time and noticed Bella is three hours late. It's not like her to be late and I haven't heard from her."

"You were supposed to meet Bella here?" I tried pretending like I knew nothing...tried.

"Yea, she wanted to hang out today so I got here early and brought Jessica with me since she had stayed the night," I cut him off.

"Wait, Bella asked you to hang out...did she know about Jessica even being with you? Don't you think that would've seemed weird if she showed up and saw you with some girl?" I was getting a little too emotional about this. Damn pregnancy hormones!

"I didn't think she'd mind..." he started to looked concerned.

"Of course not. Why would you? You men don't ever think twice before making on the spot decisions. You think you know exactly how girls will react, especially when they're just your best friend who only want to see you happy at the risk of their own!" Ok, so I was going a bit over the top, but I couldn't help it. I just didn't know where any of this was coming from. I wasn't trying to out Bella's feelings for him...crap!

"Alice, don't you think you're blowing this a bit out of proportion?"

"O I know I am, but that is not the point. I'm allowed to!" great, now I was crying. Stupid, stupid, stupid hormones!

"Alice, try to relax. Stop crying, I didn't mean to upset you, what can I do?" Ok, so while the hormonal pregnant girl is a bit crazy, this does have a way of making him feel bad without knowing why...I enjoyed this aspect of it.

"You are so blind Edward, it's really sad. You need to open your eyes. Maybe then you'll see what's happening all around you." I got up to leave but turned around to say one last thing. "And I'm moving out in two weeks, Bella needs a new roommate so get in touch with her. I know Jasper already talked about you needing to find a new place. Hopefully she will actually go for it now." And with that, I turned to leave.

I have absolutely no idea what happened in there or why things turned out the way they did. But I knew that I gave Jacob Bella's number, maybe now she could move on and get over Edward-if she wanted. I knew Edward was single, he was just messy around with some girl for kicks-yuck! And I know I completely got emotional when it wasn't needed and my mean streak faultered with the tears and nervous breakdown. That did seem to work out though, so yay me!

Chapter 4-Impulsive

BPOV

After Alice took off to get breakfast I went into my room and layed down on my bed. I had major thinking to do. How could I have let myself get this upset over seeing my best friend with another girl? It was stupid and it wasn't necessary. I did not own him, he was not mine, hence my reaction was uncalled for. I needed to just supress whatever I felt for Edward and move on with my life no matter how much I mattered or didn't matter to him. He does not owe me anything, I know that. Now I just need my heart to catch up with my brain.

I couldn't help but go over the little details of the early morning. The extreme public display of affectoin between Edward and his potential girlfriend, the extremely nice manager helping me escape through the back without demanding an explanation, agreeing to owe him a favor later...which I wasn't sure how I would do considering we had no way of contacting each other unless I went back. I considered it but decided not today. I didn't want to risk Edward being there and not having my emotions under control. Alice was the one expected to react so extremely, not me. I was the rational sister, so what was happening to me. How could I have handled it so immaturely? That was not like me and I needed to get it together. I sat up, determined not to wallow over something that was never lost. I noticed the picture on my night stand and took it in my hands. It was of me and Edward and my 18th birthday party. He had one arm around my shoulders with the other stuffing cake in my face, both of us laughing, enjoying the time. That's how we were. But, nothing could be like that forever, especially if he was with someone else. Instead of placing it back where it belonged, I found a new place for it, farther away from my nightstand. I put it behind a bunch of other pictures I had and replaced it with a picture of me and Alice. That's more appropriate, I thought.

I heard my phone going off and grabbed it to check if Alice was calling me. No, I had two text messages. One was from Edward and another was from an unknown number. I decided to check the unknown number first.

-Hey Bella, This is Jacob Black from the Cafe. I just ran into your sister and she gave me your number, I hope you don't mind-J

-Hello Jacob, I'm not sure that I mind...it is strange though. I didn't expect her to go back the Cafe today-B

-Oh, she came to get breakfast and I happened to be taking her order, I hope your not mad-J

-No, not at all. How else was I supposed to return the favor after all-B

-That's great that you mentioned it because I was wondering if you were up for paying up...for the favor I mean-J

-Uh, depends on what it is I guess-B

-Well, I know we just met but I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner with me sometime soon?-J

I had to think about that before answering it. I did owe him a favor, and what harm could it do? I needed to move on, maybe a date with someone new in my life would be what I needed. My schedule was pretty full the next two weeks though, which made it difficult to plan for now. But two weeks from today shouldn't be too bad, I hoped.

-Sure, I would like that. I am pretty busy helping my sister move out though, so is two weeks alright with you?-B

-It's great, 8:00? I can pick you up if you text me your address?-J

-Sounds good, I'll let you know closer to the date what my address is. See you then-B

-Great, I'm looking forward to it!-J

So Alice had gone back to the Cafe, no doubt to give Edward an earfull, but I didn't care at this point even though now I had to convince her I was getting over it and it wasn't necessary. But oh well. Besides, she in a way is helping me get passed it or at least make a new friend. That couldn't hurt? I hoped. Ten minutes later, I received another message. It was Edward, again. I never checked the first one, so why not check both.

-Bella, where are you? I thought we were supposed to meet at the Cafe?-E

Really? Three hours later and he is just now noticing this?

-Bella, is everything ok? Are you angry with me? This isn't like you to answer your phone. We need to talk, asap.-E

He hadn't even let two minutes go by until he sent me a third text message.

-I'm coming over. Right now."-E

What? Ugh, he could'nt be patient for two minutes without making a rash decision to just show up? I wasn't ready to face him. What would I say? I couldn't tell him I showed up and freaked out...but I also couldn't lie to him. He was my best friend. What if I told him, and he didn't feel the same way. This was horrible. Before I could figure out what to do or send him, there was a constant banging on my door. And where was Alice!

"Bella open the door, I know you're in there!" Edward shouted from the other end of the door.

"Will you relax! I'm coming!" I shouted right back at him.

"Oh, ok then. Good!" He shouted back. Were we really shouting at each other through the door, really?

I opened the door and stepped aside to let him in. He looked so good in his blue jeans and black tee. This wasn't fair. It was never easy to stay mad at him, but then again, I had no right to be in the first place.

"I waited for you." He said, looking at me intensely. I wasn't sure whether I loved the way he looked or whether to be afraid of it. He didn't look happy.

"Ok...what's your point?" Eh, I knew his point. But technically I was on time.

"My point is this isn't like you Bella. You never show up to a date you yourself made? What's going on? No message, no responses to mine? I think you owe me an explanation," He was right, I know I did.

"First off, I didn't make a date, I made an appointment. Secondly, I wasn't late. I was early. And third, you didn't bother check your watch for the time to know that I was late to begin with until three hours later Edward!" The forgetting me part did upset me, it stung. Our friendship was much more than that, at least to me.

"Date, appointment, whatever Bella, you know that's not important. And if you were on time, where were you? I never saw you. And," he paused, knowing he wanted to hide the fact that he didn't see me because he was too busy sucking face with some blonde chick. "and I lost track of time."

"Edward, we don't lie to each other. You can't drop the 'I lost track of time' excuse because we both know you didn't. Especially since you didn't see me because you were too busy sucking face with some blonde chick." I walked off to my room, clearly upset but this is how Edward and I handled things if the argument was unjust on both ends.

"Wait, so you get there, see me with Jessica and bail? Why would you do that?" He had followed me to my room...I needed a lock.

"I didn't exactly give myself much of a choice Edward. I show up, expecting to see only you but then see you making out with someone I don't even know about? What happened to us telling each other practically everything, has that changed in our friendship? Because if it has, I'll make note of it so I don't get caught off guard again. And it was kinda hard to stay there and watch that when..." I stopped. I should've stopped at the friendship part. Now I would have to tell him how I felt and things would get awkward. Great!

"When what Bella?" He came and sat down beside me on my bed, taking my hands in his. It was little gestures like this that made it difficult to not want to continue wanting him. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Anything?"

"Yes of course, that's what we do. Anything that happens, we share it." he confirmed.

"Kind of like how you shared the fact that you had a girlfriend for a month, if not longer?" He knew what I was saying and where I was going with this.

"There is no girlfriend Bella, not anymore," he answered.

"Not anymore but there was one...you usually tell me these things in a heart beat. Or has that changed?" It hurt to know he couldn't come to me with that type of information. What does that say about the rest of his "relationships"? Did he always tell me?

"It didn't mean anything to me Bella, therefore it wasn't worth mentioning. Nothings changed with us, not in any bad way at least." He hesitated, but before letting me continue, he started speaking again."Bella, why did you leave after seeing me with that girl?" He eyes searched mine as if looking for a specific answer.

"I can't Edward, please don't make me go there," I really couldn't. This was too hard to admit to my best friend that I was in love with him. And to top that off, that I was going to make myself get over him.

"Go there." his grip on my hands tightened as he slightly leaned into body closer to mine. His lips were so close to mine I could practically feel them touching, this was unusual. For a second I had lost my train of thought.

"I..." Just as I had started to say what it was I was fighting so hard to keep to myself, Alice came home screaming my name.


	4. Chapter 5,6,7,8 & 9

Chapter 5: Typical Alice

BPOV

"Bella! I've got the food!' Alice exclaimed as she came charging into the apartment. It took a few minutes for Edward and I to break our hold on each other, though I couldn't decide for which of us it was so difficult to let go, me or him. For a while though, it seemed like he was extremely reluctant to let me go. But I couldn't entertain the idea of him actually wanting me.

"Great, I was wondering what was talking you so long," I told her as Edward and I entered the kitchen.

She looked up at us, glaring at Edward. "I see you're here. Well I didn't get any food for you so you can find something for yourself in the kitchen." Did I miss something here? What else did I not know?

"Alice, that was rude, don't you think?" I told her.

"Maybe, but it's ok. Edward doesn't mind, right Edward?" She glared up at him...if looks could kill...wow. I was glad I didn't piss her off.

"Yea, Bella don't worry about it," He said, putting his hand on my shoulder just before he went behind the counter towards the fridge to find something.

"So have you two discussed roommate statuses yet?" Alice had to jump right in there, didn't she.

"No, not yet," I said and Edward quickly jumped in with his two cents.

"I think it'd be a great idea, I could be moved into Alice's room by the end of this week actually," he started. "That is, if you want to move in with Jasper sooner" He offered.

That was all it took for her to lose her death glare towards Edward. Great, so I was going to lose my sister as my roommate a lot sooner than I had planned. I wasn't sure if I was ready quite yet but I knew she had to go eventually.

"That would be fantastic Edward, Thank you!" She jumped up, giving him a hug. " Oh, I should go call Jasper and tell him the great news!"

She skipped over to her bedroom. Within minutes loud noises were coming from inside her room; it seemed as though she was wasting no time getting her things packed up and ready to go. I could've sworn I saw shirts flying across the room, but I couldn't tell from the angle I had from the kitchen. If she had her way, she would've already been living with Jasper. It made me happy to see her this happy; and soon she'd be a mom. I'd be an aunt. It was surreal.

"What's on your mind?" I was started by Edward's voice. I knew he'd been there, obviously but I had gotten so caught up with all these changes and recent arguments and revelations that I zone out.

"Nothing really," I said. That wasn't entirely true but if he wasn't being open and honest with me then how could I return that same curtisy? Every part of me was screaming to just tell him...tell him everything. I had no reason to hide anything from him. I never have. Now though, with him keeping something he has never kept from me before and lied about it, I questioned everything else he was or wasn't telling me. That was a horrible feeling to have towards not only my best friend but to the guy I was completely, head over heals inlove with.

"Bella," he hesitated and moved over to sit across from me at the kitchen counter. "Look, we know there's something. I know you too well for there to be nothing. So please, talk to me." The sadness in his eyes almost made me cave and tell him right then and there. This was completely unfair of him, knowing I had just caught him in a lie.

"That's not fair, you know that right?" I answered him, clearly not very happy.

"What's not?"

"You want to know everything...every little thing that is crossing my mind, everything that happened when I got to that cafe to meet you, everything in my life...like always. It's what's made our friendship so great and us best friends..." I looked at him, pausing.

"Yes, of course. I always want to know Bella. If I could read minds that would be great but clearly, I can't. I don't just want to know what you're thinking, I need to know." I could tell how serious he was, more than usual too.

"So how is it fair for you to keep things from me, then lie about just not noticing me when you know you weren't paying attention to time because of that girl but then expect me to tell you everything? What else don't you tell me Edward?" the familiar tension was once again pearing its ugly head in my chest, but I tried so hard to keep my breathing under control. I found myself gripping the edge of the counter for support. Unfortunately Edward noticed.

"Bella, not to change the subject, but are you okay? Do you need to sit down." He was already up and at my side, walking me over to the couch. I really didn't want him to see the effect this whole situation was having on me, especially when it's not my place to feel this way.

"Yea, I'll be fine...it's been happening a lot today." I gave him that one. One piece of information that clued him into what has been going on. It didn't mean he would know it was seeing him with another girl that caused it.

"Panic attacks have been a common theme for you today? Bella, talk to me," He stopped himself, seeing the look I gave him as soon as he said that again. "Okay, you're completely right, I should've told you. But something about that relationship made me want to keep it from you because I was scared of how you'd react but I couldn't understand why...I kept thinking of what you would think of my actions and I didn't like the idea of you not approving. I found myself yearning for your approval but I had already gone too long without saying anything and it was wrong. Not only was that wrong, but the relationship wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't what I needed. There was something missing. So I ended it with her last week and wasn't sure how to tell you about it all..." He looked like there was more and believe me, he had me hooked to want to know what it was. I needed to know. And then of course, the thought crossed my mind that if he had ended it last week, then who was this new girl?

"Edward..." I started, not entirely sure if I should really push it but, if he wanted my information, it had to be done. "If you ended it last week, who was the girl today?"

He sighed, realizing his actions were catching up with him. "That was Jessica, I met her two nights ago..." He didn't continue from there. It was clear what had gone on the past two nights, but that was none of my buisness nor did I want to make it my business.

After a few moments of silence, I stood up and started walking away.

"Bella, where are you going?" He sounded concerned, but I couldn't be sure.

"To my room, I need to be alone Edward," I turned back to proceed to my room but stopped midway and turned back to face him. He looked sad. "We will talk. I just need to collect my thoughts." And with that, I turned, went to my room and closed the door.

Chapter 6-Trickary

APOV

I have no idea how long I had been in my room gathering boxes on top of boxes on top of boxes. Yes, I had a lot of clothes but that's okay because I loved shopping and that wouldn't change! I was able to get things organized into different piles which amazed me. I wasn't usually the one to be so organized...you would think a person who loves planning would be so organized, but no. All Bella.

I was still angry that Bella was so hurt by Edward. I knew their friendship inside and out and if anyone was meant to be together, it was them. They were just too blind to see it, unlike the rest of us. Since everyone else was too afraid to try to give them a push, I took the initiative and did my best. I guess I really didn't need to do much with Bella. It was horrible! How could I not notice when my own sister fell in love! And with the one person we had all been pushing her to be with! Stupid!

Knowing Bella, she was extremely overwhelmed right now. With everything that had happened with Edward earlier this morning and the bomb I dropped on her...it was simply a lot at once. I blame Edward for it, of course. He's the one who's making it all so hard for her. Why did he have to be so naive...he was supposed to know Bella inside and out, which he claimed he did and yet he can't see when love is staring him straight in the face! I should've dumped his drink on him...that's what I forgot to do.

I had an inkling that Edward would show his face here after I left the cafe, so to give them a little time to "talk" I drove over to Jasper's place before he had to leave for work. He was now definitely up to speed on what was going on.

"There's really not much we can do Alice," he had told me. "And yelling at Edward today probably wasn't the best idea."

"No, probably not but it got him to use the right head for once!" I shrinked into the chair, disappointed with the situation that was going on. What was with Edward lately anyway!

Snapping back into this unfortunate reality, I did notice it was quiet out in the living for quite some time, which was strange because at some point I heard constant chatter going on between the two love birds, or lack there of. The silence made me uneasy. How long exactly had it been since I'd made an appearance. Climbing around all of my boxes, I noticed the clock read 6:30pm! What? I've been at this for over 7 hours pretty much...Jasper would definitely have a field day with this. Who knew I had so much stuff? Well, I did. But not over 7 hours worth of it! I managed to find a pathway somehow through the boxes and carefully made my way around them. The door was my destination. I needed, no... I demand to know what is going on out there.

I walked into the living room, which was extremely quiet. I hated quiet. Quiet was bad. I noticed Edward sitting on the floor by Bella's door with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. What exactly happened while I was packing?

"Edward? What are you doing on the floor?"

He looked up at me, saddness filled his eyes. "She won't open the door, she's collecting her thoughts. It's been over 7 hours Alice, how much longer could she need to collect her thoughts!" I could tell the silence between him and Bella was beginning to get to him. I honestly couldn't remember the last time they went this long without talking. Then again, he's never kept anything like this from her. He never had a reason to hide having a girlfriend, so what was so different now?

"Edward, come over to the kitchen with me," I offered. "We'll talk."

He reluctantly got up off the floor and slowly made his way to the kitchen table.

"Edward...sitting outside her door? Really?" This was unusal from both of them, I had to admit.

"Alice, I can't stand her not talking to me. Even more so, I can't stand knowing something is going on that she won't tell me about. I've texted her, knocked on her door consistently, pleading with her to come out to talk to me or at least let me in and nothing. I don't understand. Bella has never been like this."

"Edward...you also need to consider that Bella's had a pretty long and overwhelming day. You can't expect her to forget everything just to sit and talk to you, especially when you're part of it," I didn't want to hint too much of Bella's feeling; I hoped it was working.

"I know I can't force her, I would never do that," I stopped him there.

"In a way, don't you think that you are by consistently pleading with her to tell you what's going on? And besides all that, you keeping relationships from her? That's unlike you Edward. She's always the first out of the group to know when you have a new girl in your life. So what was so different this time that you couldn't tell her?" This was strange...why now? Why keep this from Bella of all people?

"I...I don't know. From the moment I entered that relationship it felt off, though I continued with it. With something not feeling right, it made telling her that much more difficult. I was worried, everyday that I tried to tell her, that she would be upset with me but I couldn't understand why. I couldn't take much more of it. That relationship was missing something that I needed so I ended it. The Jessica thing just happened. I didn't know Bella would react this way. I don't get it Alice. What am I missing?"

"I'm still on the part about you desperately needing Bella's approval for your actions...you never cared before. You just told her, listened to her input and that was the end of it. Why worry about Bella's feelings when she's not the one you are romantically involved with?" Hopefully, he could take this and figure out on his own where his own head is at because to me, I think he loves Bella just as much as he loved her. Of course, with Edward being blind and all, he can't see Bella's love for him let alone his own for her. I felt like I was in a soap opera. Ugh.

"Alice, for the first time, I think I'm speechless and don't know what exactly to say to that..."it looked like I had given him a lot to think about. "But when will she come out so we can talk it all out...I'm going crazy here Alice."

And suddenly it hit me. All my boxes were packed pretty much, excluding my furniture. It was still early; Rosalie's new boyfriend Emmett had a big truck which could carry disassembled furniture. Edward was more than happy to move in here...so I wonder...

"Edward, I have a propostiion for you..." I started. He looked intrigued which was good. "Knowing Bella, she most likely won't come out of that room for the rest of the night unless she needs to use the bathroom. We both know how stubborn she is. What do you think of switching apartments tonight? It'll be tough, but it can be done if you're willing. That way, she can't ignore you forever with you two living under the same roof?" I liked this idea more and more even though I knew Bella would be upset that I was basically tricking her into living with Edward and talking him that much sooner. But, she loved me so she'd forgive me, which is the only reason I would go through with this.

"Don't you think that would make her even more upset and she'd lash out at you?"

"Edward...I am pregnant and prematurally hormonal. Bella will not lash out at me because she'll feel guilty. If anything, she'll lash out at you and that's fine." I said matter of factly. I guess Edward didn't know I was pregnant because he looked at me completely surprised and overjoyed. I stopped him from saying anything because this was not the time. "We'll brush that topic again later, maybe. For now, let's start the move. I'll get ahold of Jasper, you get Emmett."

He stood up with a smile on his face. "Perfect."

Chapter 7: Switch

BPOV

I must have stayed in my room for over 7 hours now if not more. I wasn't sure why but I couldn't muster up enough courage to just tell Edward I was in love with him. It was three simple words...I LOVE YOU...that's all. Then of course, the insecurity in me just loved to peer its ugly head out at a time like this for me. It told me over and over how I would ruin a perfectly great friendship if I told him I loved him. Things would never be the same. He would look at me differently. He'd start keeping more secrets from me. Or even worse, he would choose not to see me anymore. I would rather suffer in silence than risk losing one of my dearest friends. Losing Edward just was not an option for me. However, with all the secrets and the fear of the what else he could have been hiding all this time made me wonder if our friendship was already taking a turn for the worse. We never do these things to each other. I've never been so hurt by him. I always thought he was the one person who would never let me down and what happens? He lets me down. Only, he is not only my best friend but, in my eyes, my soulmate.

Everything just seemed to be going so wrong all too fast. I couldn't believe my time with my sister was now cut to the end of the week. I wish she would've just told me sooner! Now she'd be too focused on making sure she had everything packed and in the right boxes than on one on one girl time like we usually did. I missed my bonding time with my sister. What was happening with everybody? What was going on with me even? I couldn't recognize myself as I layed here with all these thoughts swimming through my head. I was not one to complain or let anything overtake me this way. I definitely was not one to have panic attacks whenever my best friend would be with another girl. At least then I already was prepared for it and I never had to bare witness to the make out session.

Another indicator that Edward was changing was the fact that before, when we'd argue-IF we argued-he wouldn't sit outside my door begging and pleading with me to open up and let him in. He would respect my time but now, he just NEEDED to know what I was thinking. If he cared so much, why not be honest with me as soon as those girls came into the picture? Why was now different? Why was he hiding things from me? And why 'YEARN" for my approval? It's never made a huge impact before, not that I'd notice anyway.

When all the knocking finally clued him in to me not opening the door, he resorted to text messaging me. He sent me so many messages I had lost count and had to even delete some because they were filling up my inbox. Some read like this:

-Bella, I'm so sorry for whatever I did, let me in-E

-Bella, you can't stay in there forever. Let's talk-E

-Some how, some way I am going to make this up to you, I swear it.-E

-Bella, we've never gone this long without talking, please let me in at least!-E

-Bella, I am not leaving your apartment until we finally talk-E

-Come on, don't do this, why can't you talk to me?-E

And that was only a few of his messages. I knew it was childish of me to not respond to his messages or to his call for me from the door but it was definitely selfish of him to not respect my need for time to myself. I would've at least given him that if the situation was reversed. I felt like I was making no progress at all with this "time" I set up for myself. I found myself even scolding myself for reacting in such an unappropriate way. I was stupid for feeling this way, I knew it but I couldn't bring myself to accept it that way. I couldn't tell if it was the fact that he hid something from me and lied about it for the first time that bothered me or the fact that I saw him with the girl...I was settled for both, it was pretty obvious both were upsetting me. However, he didn't need to know it was both. Then again, he would probably question why I'd left to begin with if that were the case. Ugh. This was clearly a no win situation and the best I could do was prolong telling him what I was feeling.

Finally, I decided to come out of my room. It had gotten really late and I never really got around to eating my breakfast. Food never really crossed my mind when I was so hurt by this. I looked at the clock; it was quarter past eight. Wow. I couldn't believe that much time had gone by. I was such a girl it was ridiculous. Entering the living room, I noticed it was quiet and empty. At least it looked empty to me...

"Alice?" I called out. She would've told me if she was going somewhere. This was strange. I walked over to her door and put my ear to it to see if any movement had been going on inside. There was. It sounded as if she was building things in there. Was she crazy? She shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting when she was pregnant. I knocked on the door only to receive no answer. "Alice, I'm coming in." That was the only warning she was going to get. With that, I turned the handle and the door easily opened.

I walked into the room and stood there, shocked. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. All of Alice's furniture was gone, as was Alice. In her place was Edward putting together his furniture and several boxes were placed all throughout the room.

"Edward, what's going on?"

He looked up at me, grinning. "So this is what it takes for you to talk to me?"

"Can you please just answer my question...what happened to moving at the end of the week? I dont understand." How could Alice do this? How could she not tell me?

He could tell how upset I was getting. I was trying extremely hard to fight back the tears that were now developing in my eyes. Edward could see this and walked over to me, taking me into his arms. For a moment, every part of me that had been hurt by him and angered by him had disappeared and I was content. Having him hold me like this was exactly what I needed to put me at ease, no matter how temporary it may be. I felt him shifting his position, giving me the impression he was ready to end the hug so I pulled away. Though he didn't let me. He took ahold of me before I could get far enough away only this time, he kept one hand firmly on my hip and the other was cupping my cheek as he stared intensely into my eyes. What was going on?

I was frozen, not quite sure what was happening here. A part of me was saying to speak. To say anything and break this silence. However, a bigger part of me was too entranced by this new tension I was feeling between me and Edward that I didn't want to risk ruining the moment.

"Bella," he whispered my name as his face leaned in closer to mine.

"Edward?"He held his gaze as he moved closer. I realized he was leaning in...was he going to kiss me? I wasn't sure what to think. Every part of me hoped for it and from everything he was doing,that was what he had been planning. I was thrilled. I had been waiting for this ever since I could remember!

As I closed my eyes, anticipating Edward's lips on mine, I felt his face graze to my side and heard him begin to whisper in my ear. "You know, we will have to talk about this sooner or later." My eyes opened in disbelief as he pulled away, grinning at me. Are you kidding me!

"You're joking right?" I said to him, trying so hard not to let my anger and hurt show through.

"What? I'm just playing around Bella. We're best friends, that's what we do." He was laughing as he went back to putting his bed together. That's what we do? Was he serious? We've played jokes on each other for years but never like this. Taking my feelings out of the equation, it might have been funny. But considering I was inlove with him, this stung.

"That's wasn't as funny Edward." I said and crossed my arms.

"You're not going to be mad at me for that, are you?" he looked a little surprised at the thought.

"What if I was?"

"Hmm, well then if you were I would apologize. I know you're already upset with me me so I wouldn't want to add anything else to give you more reason to ignore me."

"I'm not trying to purposely ignore you Edward. I think we both know you are one person I can't stay mad at," I said to him as I looked for a good space to take a seat. Thankfully the room wasn't solely occupied by boxes.

"You definitely could've fooled me...how many messages did you ignore? And how many hours have you been locked away in your room?" He did have a point.

"Well my door wasn't technically locked...but I did need time to myself. It's been a crazy day, obviously." I thought how long we could carry on a conversatoin without him asking me to tell him what he did that caused me to be upset.

"I guess walking out and seeing me instead of Alice in this room didn't help the situation, did it?" He looked sad.

"Edward, I'm extremely happy your my new roommate. Believe me I am..." I hesitated.

"But?"

"But, with everything that's gone on in practically a day, I feel very overwhelmed. I wanted more time with Alice, although I know I most certainly haven't seen the last of her." I smiled.

He laughed at that. "Definantly not..." There was more to what he wanted to say, I could tell. I was nervous though. Sooner or later, I would have to come clean.

"Say it." I said to him.

"Say what?"

"Don't play dumb Edward, I know there is something you are trying desperately not to say."

"Okay, will you please tell me what exactly happened today. Why didn't you stay at the Cafe? Why did you leave?"

"Edward...not now, please. I promise we'll talk but not tonight."

"Bella...I'm getting the feeling you're never going to tell me. I really hope that is not the case." He made it a point to keep eye contact with me, letting me know how serious it was for him to know.

"That's not the case." I said. I was just about to continue speaking when I heard my cell phone ringing in the other room. "I'm going to go answer that, maybe it's Alice." He nodded as I ran out of the room, trying to get it before whoever it was hung up.

I jumped onto my bed reaching out towards the night stand to get my phone and hit the talk button.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella, hey! It's Jacob..."

Chapter 8-Invitations

BPOV

I could've sworn I almost fell off my bed when I realized it had been Jacob who called me. With all the craziness of the day, I had almost completely forgot about the "date" I agreed to have with him in two weeks. When I finally realized, of course and thankfully in time before he mentioned it, I started questioning if I should cancel or not. Edward may have been joking around with me not too long ago with the almost kiss moment but what about even before all that before Alice even came back. We had a moment then. No joking around, nothing. So I was definitely confused with the situation at hand.

"Jacob, hi..." I hesitated. "I wasn't expecting your call."

"Is it a problem that I called?" he asked, sounding concerned. "If it is, I can always call back some other time Bella."

"No, don't be silly. What's going on?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about our date, if that was alright." I wasn't sure I liked the way he was putting it. I simply owed him a favor and was paying up. It didn't mean I had a romantic interest in the guy. I figured that was clear...

"What about it?"

"Well, I was hoping you might've been able to move it up to this Saturday? I know you said you were swamped but I didn't want to wait a whole two weeks before seeing you again..." Ok, so it wasn't clear.

"I'm not sure..things around here just keep getting crazier by the minute. What I may be able to do is meet you at the cafe for breakfast tomorrow morning...we can do that instead of two weeks from now."

"How about both then?" Dude, come on!

"Jacob...I think it's only honest to say I don't think I'm at a point where I'm ready to be dating. I just don't want there to be any misunderstandings about what tomorrow morning or that Saturday really is...you helped me out when you didn't have to and I'm grateful for that." Great...I felt horrible. I didn't feel like I had led him on so I knew I shouldn't be feeling bad but I kinda did. I felt mean.

"Oh, it's alright Bella. I understand. If you still want to try for breakfast tomorrow morning we could do that," he sounded hopeful and I would not say no to breakfast. I could always use a new friend or something.

"Breakfast sounds great...9 sound good?" I asked.

"Yea, it's perfect. See you then." And with that, our conversation ended and the concern over having to break Jacob's hopes was now over. I felt relieved in a way. I never even had the chance to tell Alice about Jacob contacting me. I figured she would have wanted to know since she was the one who gave out my number. I decided I'd send Alice a message to see what she was doing. Hopefully she was still up and able to talk...

-Hey Alice, you up?-B

Several minutes later...

-Bella! Hey! How's my favorite little sister?-A

-I'm better, sort of. Way to tell me you decided to move out today...-B

-Bella, I'm sorry...I just thought you needed a push to talk to Edward and with him always being there, it'd be harder for you to resist..-A

-Well you were right, it's definitely hard to resist...-B

-But you're not mad right?-A

-I can't be mad at you Alice...I did want to spend time with you though. I have lots to tell you!-B

-OOOO tell me, tell me!-A

-Well, Jacob contacted me not too long after you gave him my number. I'm meeting him for breakfast tomorrow morning. I still haven't told Edward my reasoning for today, but eventually I know I will...-B

-You're going to breakfast with JACOB! This is so exciting!-A

-It's nothing more than breakfast Alice...with everything going on, I need to figure the Edward issue out and see what happens once I tell him..-B

-I see...that doesn't mean I'm not excited to see how it all plays out. Oh Bella, I've got the best idea!-A

-Alright, lets hear it!-B

-Tomorrow night, you, me, Jasper, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie...we'll all come over here and have a movie night. Our own mini party...what do you say?-A

-Doesn't sound bad at all, want me to tell Edward?-B

-Yes please! I'll see you tomorrow at 7 but for now I gotta go...Jasper's waiting ;) Love you!-A

-Love you too!-B

It was nice talking to Alice. I wish I could say it felt different not having her here but it didn't. I knew she was where she belonged and as for me, well, I wasn't quite sure where my place was. Surely not with Edward but for the time being, we were roommates and I had a message to pass along.

"Edward?" I called running out of the room. He must have thought something was wrong because he dropped whatever he was putting together and ran out panicked.

"What happened? What's wrong?" He looked extremely concerned, even though there was no need to be.

"Nothing is wrong, I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you Alice is planning a little party with the group tomorrow night at 7..."

"Bella, I seriously thought something bad happened to you or something. Don't do that again," he said. While he seemed to be upset, I also knew he was trying to make me feel bad. That was typical Edward behavior.

"Alright Edward, you got it." I said and turned back to my room. It was getting late and I was meeting Jacob early in the morning for breakfast. I still had no idea how that would end up; I could tell he had already formed an idea of something potentially happening. I couldn't see it, then again I was inlove with my best friend and didn't even know Jacob. I guess tomorrow would be a start to getting to know him though.

"Wait, where are you going...I wasn't actually mad at you..." Oh Edward...did he really think I was leaving because I was upset that I upset him when I knew he was joking?

"Edward, I know that. I'm just going to go to bed. I have an early morning ahead of me." I smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

He laughed, "You really never have heard of sleeping in. We'll work on it, sweet dreams Bella." He turned and went into his room to finish his construction.

"Sweet dreams," I shouted back and closed my door though instead of going to bed, I stayed there, leaning against my door. "I love you Edward." I whispered, so quiet that someone in the same room with me wouldn't have even heard me. I just wished I could actually say it to him and loud enough for him to hear me. Knowing the chances of that actually happening were probably slim to none, I went over to my bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 9-Second Impressions

I ended up waking up 3 hours before I was supposed to meet Jacob at the Cafe; I definitely didn't have a great night's sleep. Waking up through the night was a constant and strangely new for me. I've dreamt before, obvioulsy and had been awaken by many dreams but I've never personally experienced a night where my dreams were so scattered and so random and resulted in me waking up every hour. Each dream sequence came either after I had woken up or would change midway of a dream I had been having; some exhibiting a common theme while others were different. Unexpected even. Most of them seemed to revolve around Edward leaving me alone. Always for another girl.

There were dreams where I had come so close to finally telling him how I felt; it took place in a beautiful meadow surrounded by various blooming flowers and trees. It was breathtaking. In the dream, we had been having a picnic, laughing, enjoying each other's company as always. I had come so close to expressing how I felt and then, out of no where, Edward stood up and ran over to another girl who stood at the end of the clearing waiting for him. And I was left alone.

Another dream took place in the apartment; movie night. We had ordered food and were watching a comedy. I wasn't sure what had led to it but suddenly in the dream Edward was over me, tickling me. He knew how ticklish I was and how much I couldn't stand it when he did it. He even stopped doing it for some time, which I was thankful for. Though, there I was in this dream sequence being tickled by Edward, pleading with him to stop. I had caught his arms and we were locked in our positions just staring at each other, smiling. If a kiss had followed I would not have been surprised however, it being my dream and the Bella ends up alone theme, that wasn't what happened. Instead, the dream had gone from me and Edward coming close to kissing to me suddenly standing at the doorway observing those actions with Edward and some other girl.

I also remembered the dream I had before I woke up for the last and final time of the night. It had taken place at Jasper and Alice's apartment; from what I gathered, it was the party we were supposed to go to the next day. Around a round glass table sat Alica, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and myself. We were all enjoying ourself from what looked like a game of truth or dare...a game I hated to play. We were all in college, some already graduated or graduating...we could've found another way to pass our time. Given that and the fact that I always wanted to avoid what "Truth" I would have to answer or "Dare" I'd have to execute...it was too with Emmett around. He was crazy and that was nicely put. Yet there we were, playing Truth orDare and I stupidly had agreed to participate, though I couldn't understand why. There were stacks of cards on the table, divided into two section: one for Truth, the other for Dare. I guess this way it was fair? I don't know...I don't control these dreams. Somehow I ended up having to pick up a Truth card which read: "Are you inlove with someone currently?" Of course. Right before I was going to answer, there was a knock on the door. Some girl showed up looking for Edward and once again, in front of me replayed the same scene I had witnessed at the Cafe. Great, now it was haunting my dreams.

At that point, I was too frustrated to go back to sleep. I couldn't deal with anymore of these nightmares. Instead, I decided to get dressed early so I got up, quietly, grabbed everything I would need to take a shower and went into the bathroom. It was probably 5:30 in the morning when I got done and stepped out of the shower. As I got out of the tub and went to reach for the towel, the bathroom door opened...it was Edward! Edward stood there,looking like a dear in headlights frozen in place. I was just as surprised as he was. That was when I noticed I was still standing in front of him, completely naked! "GET OUT!" I screamed as I went for my towel.

"I'm ...I'm sorry...I didn't..."I cut him off before he could even get the words out to finish his stupid sentence.

With my towel finally wrapped around me-and secure-I charged, pushing him out of the bathroom. "HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A THING CALLED KNOCKING!" I screamed, slamming the door in his face. I was so embarrassed.

"Bella...I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be taking a shower at 5:30 in the morning," He said through the door.

"What, the lights shining through the door weren't obvious enough for you?" I screamed back.

"I wasn't paying attention, I only just woke up...and you didn't exactly lock the door you know..."He replied.

"That's probably because you sleep in every chance you have and I wasn't expecting for you to wake up at 5:30 in the morning!" He was completely right though, I should've locked the door. But with Alice and I living together for so long we were never really in the habit of locking the door, we usually knew when the other would be using the bathroom so we never had this problem. A problem I now have because I'm rooming with my best friend who just happened to be a guy! This was the worst thing to have happened. Now he knew what I looked like naked! I would probably never live this down.

"I decided last minute to go for an early run...I'm sorry Bella." I knew he was...though now I would constantly wonder if when he looked at me he was mentally picturing me stepping out of the shower. He was the first guy to ever see me naked now...so I had no idea what he would think which just made me all the more insecure. Great!

Deciding to avoid answering him, I gathered the rest of my things from the bathroom and stormed out. I walked completely passed him, straight to my room and slammed the door. I made sure to lock it! Thankfully, Edward didn't come knocking at my door, he knew I would feel embarrassed by the situation and would need time to cool down which he was giving me. I stayed in my room until the time grew closer to when I'd have to leave to meet Jacob. With twenty minutes on the clock before he expected me, I grabbed my keys, my purse and left my room thinking Edward would have already left to go for his run.

"Bella, where are you going?" He asked.

"Out for breakfast, I'll see you later," I answered, trying to show him I was in a rush and didn't want to discuss the incident from earlier in the morning.

"Oh, you want some company?" He continued.

"No, that's ok Edward. Thanks though. I really have to go."

"Alright...and about earlier this morning Bella..." I stopped him before he could continue.

"Let's forget that ever happened. Ok? ok, good," I said and headed straight out the door before he could get a word in.

Just like the other day, my drive to the Cafe was fairly quick which came with the advantage of it being so close. Finding a parking space was easy as well, so that made me feel a little less stressed about parking and being late. When I came up to the front door, I saw Jacob standing there waiting. He smiled at me as I approached him.

"Good morning Bella," He said, looking happy to see me.

"Good morning Jacob," I replied.

"Shall we?" He opened the door for me, gesturing for me to go in first. This was nice of him.

We placed our order at the counter; he wouldn't let me pay for my breakfast even though he knew this was not a date. Simply from these gestures I could see Jacob was a nice guy, which was only to be expected considering he had helped a complete stranger escape through the back without any explanation the other day. We took our seats after our number was called and that's when the conversation took off.

"So...do I get to hear the explanation behind the fast escape from the other day?" He asked, smiling at me. I didn't see any reason not to tell him, afterall...I knew I owed him what he was asking for.

"Well, it's complicated. But, long story short I saw my best friend here and just sort of panicked. I needed a way out before he saw me," I answered.

"You saw him and panicked? I don't buy it...there's more. I know you don't know me and have no reason to be sharing your personal business with me but you should know that is something that you can do, especially if you need someone to talk to...I'm a good listener," He offered me.

I stared at him for a few minutes thinking. Who else could I really talk to about everything going on? Alice had a lot on her plate and was probably completely zeroed in on tonight's party. Edward, who I normally would be going to, was the one person behind everything that was going on and was the one person I was fighting with myself to talk to. I wanted to tell him how I felt but something was stopping me. Rosalie wasn't always around to talk to because she either worked or was with Emmett so right now, I guess talking to Jacob wouldn't be so bad. It didn't hurt to have a new friend in my life afterall.

"Alright," I started. "There is more to it...though I will try to give you cliff notes. My best friend, Edward, and I have known each other since we were kids. My sister just got engaged and she asked for me and him to plan a combined bridal party and groom's party so I asked Edward to meet me here yesterday morning. I came here and saw him with another girl and I freaked out and needed to get out of here." I said, waiting for his response.

"I see," he hesitated. "Does this Edward know that you're inlove with him?

"No." I said, looking down at the table. I already was beating myself up over not telling him.

"What's stopping you?" He asked.

"Myself actually...I don't know how he would react and that scares me. I don't want to ruin our friendship and create an awkward tension, especially since we're roommates now."

"Roommates?" he asked, sounding slightly surprised.

"Yea, my sister surprised me with her wedding surprise yesterday and gave me 2 weeks to find a roommate. I spent most of the day avoiding Edward because I was upset..he spent most of the day trying to get me to talk to him and they ended up secretly moving him in while I was in my room...so it's taking some getting used to." A flashback of this morning's incident went through my mind. We definitely needed to set some new rules in the apartment.

"It's not easy, is it?" he said...not really asking, though the need to answer was still there.

"No, definitely not. But I don't really want to talk about this anymore if you don't mind." I gave him a slight smile to reassure him he had done nothing wrong. Thankfully he knew and understood why I needed a topic change.

"Not a problem Bella...so, where do you go to school?"

"University of Forks, how about you?"

"I go there, too," he started. "That's weird, you would think I would've seen you around at some point.

The rest of our conversation seemed to be centered around getting to know each other and our interests; I guess the way a first date would usually tend to play over. But I didn't mind getting to know Jacob; he seemed like a great guy so far. We hadn't realized how much time had passes until I received a message from Alice; that's when I looked at my phone. We had been talking and sitting here for 4 hours. Both of us were surprised at how quickly time had passed.

"I'm sorry, you must be late for work," I said.

"It's fine Bella. I'm the manager and my shift doesn't start for another hour so we're fine." He smiled at me reassuringly.

Once again, my phone went off. Another message from Alice so this time I glanced at her messages.

-Hey Bella, what are you up to?-A

-Bella, I haven't heard from you all day, is everything ok?-A

Most of the day had gone by without me really noticing. I did have a few things I needed to take care of before going over to Alice's tonight and considering Jacob had work soon, now seemed like good timing to bow out.

"I'm sorry Jacob, there's still some things I need to get done today so I have to get going. But thank you for breakfast," I paused. "I had a great time."

At this, he smiled. "I'm glad you came Bella. We should do it again sometime...if you wanted that is"

"That sounds great, I'll be seeing you," I said as I was getting up. He stood up as well and watched as I headed out the door.

I had to admit, I was glad I went through with meeting Jacob here this morning. He really was a great guy and didn't push to find out information, especially since he didn't know me. It also surprised me that it was easy to talk to him; it wasn't the same as it was with Edward but somewhat close. And right now, with everything going on, Jacob was the only one I could tell it to which was weird. I never opened up that way to someone I didn't even know. It sort of bothered me that it wasn't Edward I was talking to. I went to him about everything, yet him keeping things from me made me question whether I should tell him what I've been feeling. I was just surprised he hadn't figured it out by now. With all my stupid reactions, you would think someone who knows me better than I know myself would be able to read into it. But no...it's like that possibility could never cross his mind. After I parked my car in the lot of my apartment, I took a deep breath before heading up. There was the chance that he would be there so I needed to put on my "everything is perfectly fine" face, even though it wasn't. The door wasn't locked, which told me Edward was here. however, he wasn't in the living room or the kitchen. I guess he was in his room. I went up to knock on the door but just before my hand reached the door I heard giggling through the door. Giggling? It was a females voice, that was clear enough. Awesome, so I had come back home to Edward fooling around with some girl. I felt lowsy.

Quietly, I went into my bedroom to change for tonight and texted Alice telling her I was coming now rather than later. I would sit and wait for her outside of her apartment if I had to . I wasn't going to sit here and witness what was going on in the room next door. Especially since the walls weren't as sound proof as I had thought.


	5. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 10-Change of Plans

On my way to Alice's apartment, I started to think about Edward. I thought about the girl he had in the apartment, who may or may not have been the same girl from the cafe. I convinced myself...barely...that it really was none of my business. As his best friend, I would be there whenver he needed me, just like before. If this was something he needed to keep to himself then so be it. I couldn't continue getting upset about seeing him with a girl. It was pathetic and not the type of person I wanted to be. Edward is my best friend and I want him to be happy. It was all these thoughts which eventually led me to think of Jacob. The comfort I felt in confiding in him was new and unusual for me. I thought to myself, how could I let that pass just because I was inlove with my best friend. It could be a very good thing for me, who knew.

I knew that Alice wanted to have tonight be just the group. But I found myself not wanting to be there and be stuck feeling a tension between me and Edward. Everybody there had someone who they'd be happy with but me. Edward may not be bringing a girl to this thing, but that didn't mean he didn't have one waiting for him when he left the party. I felt like it would become a constant thing with him. I felt like most nights he'd have girls over and I'd be left alone. I worried about drifting apart from my best friend but at some point, I had to let go. Why not with Jacob? That's when I decided. I was going to invite Jacob over to the party tonight after telling Alice this is what I planned and I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I could always guilt her into it since she dumped everything on me in one day and never told me she was leaving...she did this to me a lot. If I had to, I'd do the same just this once, maybe.

I was ten minutes away from Alice's apartment when I took my phone out to give her a call.

"Hello?" she said as she answered my call.

"Hey Alice."

"Bella! HEYYYYY! I can't wait until you get here! There's so much that needs to be done for tonight..." she was so excited. She got this way each time she planned an event. It was sometimes scary to be around her.

"Not a problem Alice, that's what I'm here for. To help. I also wanted to tell you something..."I said to her. I couldn't sound as excited as she did. I wasn't looking forward to helping her set up for tonight only because she became extremely bossy and picky with detail...not pretty at all.

"Ok, I'm all ears..." she said, waiting for me to tell her.

"Now I know tonight is about the group and all, but I'm giong to invite Jacob to come." I said ,matter of factly.

"Bella...this was supposed to be the perfect opportunity to set you and Edward up...he's single now. So why not?"

"Alice, he's not single." I said.

"Yes he is...he told me so himself," she hesitated. Clearly she had talked to him and this was the first time I was hearing about it. I decided to not focus on that because there was no need to continuously get so worked up of stupid things.

"Alice, if he was single, he probably wouldn't be fooling around with some girl in his bedroom right now..." I told her.

"Oh..." she answered. "That changes things I guess...but maybe she isn't his girlfriend." She tried to be optimistic, as always.

"Alice, I don't care if she's his girlfriend or just a hook up buddy. I'm not going to sit around waiting forever. If he had the slightest interest, he wouldn't be meeting all these girls and bringing them back to his room..." I told her.

"What if he does want to be with you, but is scared to say it?" Alice needed to tone down the optimism. I know she meant well, but it was pretty clear how things needed to be.

"Alice, if that was the case, bringing girls to the apartment is not the way to get me to see how he feels. So it's over with. I can't do this to myself." I answered. The more I said this out loud, the more convinced I was that moving passed these feelings was the way to go.

"Ok Bella...I still think the two of you are meant to be together...so I'll still be hoping," she paused. "But if bringing Jacob with you tonight is what you want to do, then it's ok. Is tonight going to be first time you're seeing him since yesterday's incident?" she asked.

"Actually no, I met him this morning for breakfast and we lost track of time. We talked for hours, it was really nice. He's really nice," I said to her.

"Aww Bella, that's really good. I want to hear more about this when I see you. When will that be?" she asked.

"In about five minutes, so let me go so I can call Jacob and invite him to the party." She agreed and not a minute later I was dialing Jacob's number.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey Jacob, it's Bella..." I hesitated. I wasn't sure if calling was such a good idea afterall.

"Bella, hey, it's great to hear from you. What's up?" I felt a little reassured now. Maybe it was a good thing...

"I was just calling to see if you wanted to go to my sister's house warming party tonight? I know it's last minute so I would understand if you weren't able to make it..." I had to remember he could always say no and be ready for it. I've never really asked a guy out tonight. Was this what I was doing him? Asking him out?

"I would love to!" He exclaimed.

"Ok great...I'll meet you at the cafe at 7:30 and we'll head over?" I asked.

"Sounds perfect, I'll see you then!"

"See you Jacob," I replied. So it was settled. Tonight, I would have another opportunity to get to know Jacob. I figured spending more time with him was exactly what I needed to see if things could go somewhere.

I had 4 hours to help Alice set up and to leave to meet up with Jacob. It felt like that time had been going by so slow...Alice's instructions were to the tee. There was no room for mess ups with her or I'd have to start over again. And for whatever reason, it was only me and Alice setting up. Jasper was no where to be seen. I figured maybe he'd be helping too but he wasn't.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked her at one point.

"Oh, I sent him away so we can get things set up perfectly. He's probably with Emmett or Edward or both. Either way, he'll be here with them when it's time,"she answered. Some time went by before either one of us said something again. I had offered to bake the chocolate chip cookies that Alice was debating to have for the party. It took some convincing, but I finally got her to agree to it. If there was anything I could get right and not worry about Alice's freak outs, it was baking. It took my mind off of everything. It was amazing.

"Did Jacob agree to come tonight?" She asked me as I mixed the ingrediants.

"Yes," I smiled at her. "He did. I'm going to meet him at 7:30 and bring him back here." I told her.

"That's exciting Bella...does Edward know about him?"

"No." I glanced up at her for a brief moment and went back to finishing the cookies.

"How come?" she asked. "Are you trying to hide him? If you are, tonight was probably a bad idea seeing as how they'll both be here."

"Alice, no I'm not hiding Jacob from Edward. And considering Edward doesnt' see it fit to tell me about his new flame of the month, I don't see me making a new friend necessary for him to know. Either way, I never had the chance to with everything that happened." She nodded her head in understanding. At least I hoped she understood.

"I see what you mean," she said, turning back around to get back to work. "And Bella...I'm sorry things with Edward don't seem promising to you. I wish it was different." She smiled and went to the next room to finish organizing.

I didn't want to risk breaking my wall down that I had just created around Edward. Moving on was the best thing for me, I knew it. So instead of thinking through what Alice had said to me about him, I focused on my baking. The cookies were already in the oven and for a second, I considered making anothe batch. But I talked myself out of it. I already made more than was needed for tonight. The cookies still had some time to bake so I started cleaning the small mess I had made while mixing all the ingrediants together. Thankfully Alice wasn't in the room to really notice. A moment later, Alice was running into the room with my cell phone in her hand trying to hand it off to me.

"Here, I think you have a message or something. I heard it go off and thought you may be expecting to hear from someone,"she said as I took the phone to look at it.

"Thanks Alice," I said. She nodded and went back to keeping herself busy. I looked at my phone and saw I had a message waiting for me. I opened it and saw it was from Edward.

-Hey, where are you? You've been gone all day...-E

I was surprised he even noticed considering how preoccupied he was when I actually got back.

-I went over to Alice's to help her set up for tonight.-B

-Oh, you didn't come back to the apartment at all?-E

-I did, I stopped back and changed outfits. I figured you and your girlfriend wanted privacy-B

I wasn't trying to sound mean. It was the truth. I didn't want to be around it and I know I would've wanted privacy if the roles were reversed.

-Oh...I'm sorry about that...-E

-None of my business.-B

-Are you still mad about whatever happened yesterday?-E

-It's done with. No reason to hold any grudges so no.-B

-So you can tell me now?-E

-There's no reason to, I was stupid and wasn't thinking clearly so I apologize for my reaction. But I have to go, there's still things that need to be finished. I'll see you at the party-B

A few minutes went by before Edward responded.

-Oh...alright. I guess I'll see you later...-E

Responding to that was pointless, so I chose to go back to work. I noticed the time was getting closer and closer to 7. The closer the time came for me to see Jacob, the more anxious I grew. This reaction was also new for me but I welcomed it. This was supposed to be a good thing to feel. When the cookies were done, I carefuly took them out of the oven and took out a platter to place them in.

"Something smells amazing..." I heard Alice say as she entered the kitchen. I smiled at her and looked at the time. It was a little after 7 and I still needed to drive to the Cafe to get Jacob.

"I got them all layed out over on the other counter if you want to look at them and rearrange anything. But I have to go meet up with Jacob and we'll be right over. I'll see you soon," I gave her a hug and headed for the door with my things. I wondered how everyone would take to meeting Jacob. I even wondered how he would feel about it considering he barely knew anybody. He had only known me for a little over a day now and had only seen Alice in passing. So as I came closer to the Cafe, I became really nervous about tonight. A few minutes later, I was pulling up to the cafe and saw Jacob standing there, waiting. He glanced at his watch...I guess he worried I wouldn't show up. The thought of that made me sad. I didn't want him thinking that. I pulled up to the curb and lowered the passenger window.

"Hey Jacob, get in." I said to him smiling. He smiled back and got in the car.

"I was beginning to think you changed your mind," He said as he fastened his seatbelt.

I glanced over at him for a second. "I would never do that Jacob. And look, I'm five minutes early." At this, he laughed slightly.

"So everyone knows your bringing a plus one?" he asked.

"My sister Alice knows, it's her party." I told him.

"Oh alright, sounds good," he answered. I looked over at Jacob from the corner of my eye trying to get a pinpoint of how he was feeling about this. I know I would be extremely anxious meeting people I've never met. If this was the case for him, he was definitely hiding it well.

"It's not too much further," I said to him, giving him a chance to prepare himself .

"Bella, I'm fine. You shouldn't worry so much," he said to me, smiling.

"Well you looked like you had a lot on your mind so I figured you might be nervous or something," I told him.

He laughed. "Nothing about the party, so like I said, don't worry."

"So you are thinking about something, but not the party..." I said, I was curious to know what he was thinking.

"What?" He said, smiling at me.

"Just curious as to what it could be," I told him.

"I'll tell you later, sound fair?" he asked.

"Promise?" I asked as I parked the car. I noticed everyone had already arrived.

"Yes, I promise."

"Ok, good. And we're here." I was feeling anxious to know what Jacob had been thinking, there was no denying that. There could have been endless possibilities. I liked having something to look forward to. We both got out of the car and headed to Alice's building. Getting in was no trouble since Alice had seen to it that I had a key to the complex. We went up the two flights to get to her door. My hand paused around the door knob just before I turned it.

"Here we go," I said to him and opened the door.

**A/N: Hey everyone who's been checking out my fanfic...as you may have noticed I've resorted to placing more than one chapter in a link and I plan on repeating that...I have a little over 20 chapters written so far but I'm posting based on responses...so please review! I love hearing feedback!**


	6. Chapter 11 Part 1 & 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 11-Awkward

Part One

Jacob and I walked into Alice and Jasper's apartment to find ourselves surrounded by constant shouting. Most of the noise had been coming from Emmett, though I couldn't tell at first what was going on. Everyone appeared to be sitting at a round poker table. Rosalie sat next to Emmett on his right side with Alice at his left. On Alice's other side was Jasper and next to Jasper was Edward who was also across from Emmett. There was one seat available in between Edward and Rosalie. That was strange, Alice knew Jacob would be coming with me but she only kept one seat available? Our prescence did not seem to affect the arguing in no way. In fact, we were almost unnoticed. Jacob and I just stood there listening to Emmett shout at Edward.

"You totally cheated!"Emmett yelled.

Edward sighed, "Emmett, for the last time I did not cheat. My hand simply beats yours. It's in the rules, that's not cheating."

"You're making up your own rules then!" he yelled back. Leave it to Emmett to find some way to pick a fight after losing a game. He couldn't just accept it for what it was.

"I'm not making up the rules Emmett," Edward tried to explain, but Emmett would not hear it.

"Emmett, serioulsy. I think we all know a straight flush beat a pair. My two pair beats your pair for crying out loud." Rosalie interceded. This is what Emmett was trying to argue? That he had lost because he had a simple pair and Edward simply had a better hand? Of course. Jacob and I just glanced at each other, trying very hard to surpress our need to laugh at what we were witnessing.

"Since when does a straight flush and two pair beat my pair!" He exclaimed.

"Since always," Alice answered, giggling.

"Emmett, stop being such a sore loser. You lost, just accept it!" Rosalie told him.

"No, I want proof!" He said.

"Then google it," she told him.

"Maybe I will," he said as he got up to go into the other room.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked.

"To google poker!" Emmett said and left the room.

It was Emmett's exit scene that had clued everyone in to the fact that Jacob and I had arrived. Emmett didn't say much to us as he stormed out of the room. He simply mumbled a brief hello as he passed us. I couldn't help but laugh. We definitely showed up at a good part. Alice looked up at me and smiled. Not a second later, she was jumping out of her seat and running up to hug me.

"It's about time you got here!" she said, almost knocking me down.

"Sorry, there was some traffic on the way over here," I said, hugging her back. I glanced up at Jacob who was smiling at us. I smiled back at him.

"It's ok, at least your here." she pulled away from me and went on to hug Jacob, which was unexpected. "Welcome Jacob!" she said while giving him a hug. He wasn't quite sure how to react but didn't want to seem rude so he hugged her back.

I noticed Rosalie, Jasper and Edward staring over in our direction. "Everyone, this is my friend Jacob," I said. I felt stupid for not introducing him sooner but seeing as how we walked into Emmett's tantrum, it wasn't a good time. Everyone but Edward greeted Jacob with open arms, so to speak. They made sure he didn't feel awkward. I went over and gave Jasper and Rosalie a hug and said hello to Edward.

"I don't get a hug?" He said as he stood up. He looked sad. that I hadn't hugged him.

"Of course you do," I said and walked over to give him a hug. He held me tighter than usual, which was beginning to cut off my air supply.

"Edward...I need to breathe you know," I said in between gasps.

"Oh right, sorry." He said, letting go of me but he did not look at me. Instead, he glared straight ahead. Was I mistaken? I looked over to see what he was glaring at...it was Jacob? Edward had been glaring at Jacob who stood innocently looking at me. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" he paused, looked up at Jacob and continued. "Alone?"

"Maybe later Edward," I said and started to walk away but he stopped me. I turned back and looked at him questioningly.

"It can't wait." He said throught gritted teeth. What was with him?

"Jacob, will you be ok for a few minutes?" I felt horrible for leaving him alone because of Edward. It didn't feel right to me. I invited him here and was going to leave him alone with people he didn't know?

"Of course, I'll join the game of poker," he started and looked over at Jasper and Rosalie. "If that's alright?" They nodded and pulled a seat out for him.

"Thanks you guys," I smiled and then looked over at Edward. My smile instantly disappeared. He looked furious. "Edward?"

"OK." he walked over the the door which led to the balcony and opened it for me. "After you." He said. I took one more look at Jacob before I exitted to the balcony. He seemed to be fitting in well and for that I was relieved. Edward slammed the door behind him. I turned to look at him and he just stood there, motionless. Almost like a statue.

"What Edward?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Who is that?" He asked. I could tell he was fighting through anger and was trying not to take it out on me.

"That's my friend Jacob." I told him.

"He doesn't look like just a friend Bella, or maybe you didn't see the way he was looking at you." He glared at me.

"The way Jacob was or wasn't looking at me is none of your business Edward. It's not mine for that matter either unless he makes it my business." I responded, doing my best to not shout at him. I knew the minute we would raise our voices, everybody would be able to hear what we were talking about and that was something I did not want happening. He had to understand that.

"How is it not my business?" slowly, his voice started to rise.

"First off, lower your voice. You wanted to talk to me, then talk to me rather than involving everyone else by shouting at me. Second, what makes you think it is?" I said to him.

"We tell each other everything, that's how!" he said. His voice still had no lowered.

"Yes, when there is something to tell. There's nothing to tell here. And you can't use that as your excuse to be upset when you kept a relationship hidden from me for a month along with some new hook up of yours. It doesn't work this way Edward." He knew I was right. I could tell when he softened his features a bit that he knew what he had said contradicted what he himself had been doing.

"I still have a right to know." He said to me through his teeth. Clearly he wasn't getting it.

"And you do know. You know who Jacob is along with everybody else in the group. Nothing is being hidden from you," I reassured him.

"I had a right to know sooner...that you were seeing someone." he said.

"Except I'm not seeing anyone. Did you miss the part where I introduced my new friend, Jacob?" I emphasized the word "friend" so he understood. "You're making no sense right now Edward."

"Well I'm sorry I'm not making sense, I didn't exactly expect you to bring some guy with you to our group get together. You should've told me you were bringing someone. I had a right to know. I am your..." he cut himself off before allowing himself to finish that statement.

"My what?" I asked him. He was my best friend. There shouldn't have been anything keeping him from saying that out loud. So what was he actually trying to say?

"Nothing, nevermind." He said, turning away.

"My what Edward? Best Friend?" I persisted.

"Yea," he hesitated. "That." He refused to look at me. His face looked as though a million thoughts were running through his head; as though a new realization had hit him and he himself was surprised by it. I could tell he was not being honest. He was not going to say "best friend." I knew him better than he knew himself and because of that, I was determined to get my answer. I took a step closer to him. The distance between us was minimal; almost non existent. Our faces only inches apart. I looked up at him, searching for the truth.

"That's not what you were going to say Edward," I moved a little closer, though there really was no where else for me to move. Our bodies were touching by this point and I could feel an unknown electric current forming between our bodies. This was definitely new.

He hesitated, unsure of how to react to the situation. I wondered if he felt the intensity of the current the way I did though I had no way of knowing if he felt anything for that matter. "It was," He finally forced the words out and looked away from me.

"No..." I said. I lightly slid my hand up his right arm and rested it on his shoulder. During my manuever his eyes shot at me in surprise. "I know that's not what you were going to say Edward..." I brought my other hand up to his other shoulder. He seemed completely unsure of how to respond. There we stood, barely any distance between us with my hands slowly moving from his shoulders to around his neck while his remained at his sides.

"Bella...it's not important.." He had trouble looking for his words. I felt his hands move to my hips. He was still unsure of whether or not he should've done that. I had now been catching him off his guard. "Please don't make me say it..." he added.

"Please?" I asked, slighlty tilting my head.

"Boyfriend." he spat out."I was going to say boyfriend." I smiled, for two reasons. One being that Edward had inadvertantly admitted to being jealous of seeing me with another guy that he felt that as my boyfriend, he had a right to know about my new friend, even though he wasn't techincally my boy friend. Second, was the fact that he did refer to himself as my boyfriend which was something I never thought I'd ever hear even if it was a heat of the moment type of thing. After admitting what he truly meant to say, he practically closed the gap between our faces...though not fully kissing me. I could feel his lips barely touching mine as though waiting for me to react; to see if this action was ok with me. I couldn't do it though. Edward was simply not used to seeing me with a guy, hence his reaction. I, however, was used to seeing him with other girls, especially lately. It was earlier today he had a girl over the apartment so I could not trust that part of Edward becoming surpressed due to an act of passion here with me. With this in mind, I moved my head to the left and gave Edward a kiss on the cheek and went to whisper in his ear.

"I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who gets jealous," I whispered and left Edward standing on the balcony alone with shock and confusion painted all over his face. I wondered if that's how I looked the other day when Edward had given me the impression that he was going to kiss me in my bedroom...

Chapter 11-Awkward

Part Two

Very little changed since I had left to speak with Edward on the balcony a few minutes ago. Emmett was now back and was seated once again at the poker table. Jacob had been engaged in conversation with Jasper and Alice, while from what it looked like, Rosalie was talking Emmett down. Edward still hadn't made his way back into the apartment but I wasn't going to worry about it. I also wasn't going to give what just happened my complete attention seeing as how I was convinced he reacted in the heat of the moment. I did not believe, nor could I ever fathom the idea of Edward actually loving me as more than just his friend. I was slowly accepting it. Slower than I wanted to but when something feels so right, it's that much harder to let it go. That was my problem.

"So Emmett," I started. "You find out the rules of poker?" I asked as I took my seat next to Jacob. This seat not too long ago belonged to Edward. I was more than willing to give it back to him .

"Yes I did." He said, refusing to continue.

"I guess I don't need to ask my next question to know what you found," I said. I couldn't help but laugh a little. It wasn't at him persay. It was more that I could always count on Emmett to not make these get togethers so boring.

"Yea, whatever. I don't want to play poker anymore anyway." He scoffed. Rosalie laughed.

"So Jacob, what is it that you do?" Jasper asked. I looked over in their direction to focus on what they were now going to talk about. Watching Emmett pout wasn't new for me.

"I go to school full time while managing the Cafe," He said. I wasn't sure how he worked and went to school full time. I had spent most time working crazy hours during the summer while having to minimize them during the school year. With all the courses and clubs I managed, it wasn't easy doing it all but I did my best.

"So that's where I've seen you, the Cafe," Jasper stated. "I like that place. You do a great job." he smiled. Thankfully Jasper wasn't being hard on Jacob, though I didn't see much reason for it.

"I do my best," Jacob stated, I could see a faint smile developing.

"You really have done a lot with the Cafe Jacob, it's amazing." I said to him reassuringly. I couldn't help but smile at him as we stared at each other. I'm not sure how long we sat there staring to be honest. In that time it seemed like everyone else simply faded into the background and it was only me and Jacob. There was something about him that intrigued me, though I couldn't figure out what it was exactly. There was a sense of comfort I got from him, despite the fact we barely knew each other. It wasn't until I heard Edward's coughing that I awoke from the trance and actually was aware of my surroundings. Everyone attempted to hide their smiles and stifle their laughter while Edward stood there in pure fury.

"I hate to break apart your little love connection you had going on, but could you make room for another chair." He never once looked up at Jacob. Edward had his entire focus on me and of course, squeezed in between me and Jacob. This made talking to Jacob one on one more difficult but we were with the group so it didn't bother me that much. It just annoyed me that Edward was going to be so hot headed and immature about this situation or lack there of. For whatever reason, he was refusing to see this for what it really was but if he wanted it that way then so be it.

"Alice, do you think you can scoot over a little bit? There's not much room with Edward needing to squeeze in and all..." I smiled at her apologetically. I felt bad asking her of all people to have to move, especially when she didn't even have to. Edward could have brought his chair across from us, where there was plenty of open space. I heard Edward scuff under his breath upon my request to Alice. I glanced over at him and he rolled his eyes.

"It is a bit of a tight space over here," Jacob added. I looked over at him and smiled. I was grateful that he was backing me up with this. Though it seemed to annoy Edward even more. I had to admit I found this side of Edward a bit entertaining. He had never acted this way before.

"Of course Bella," Alice said, trying her best to hold back her need to laugh at the situation as she moved her seat.

"Thank you," I said smiling at her.

"It's fine...I like being closer to Jasper," she said, leaning into him. At this motion he lightly put his arms around her and held her close. It was very sweet. I was happy to see my sister found someone to love her the way she deserves. I fully approved of Jasper, which made Alice happy.

"So Edward, what's with you?" Emmett chimed in.

"Yea, you're not exactly acting like yourself all of the sudden," Jasper added in, his eyes still locked on Alice who was looking up at him smiling.

"Yes, Edward. Do share with us what suddenly has you acting strangely." I said, while bringing my right elbow to the table and resting my head in my right hand as I stared at him, intrigued for what his response would be. Aside from Edward himself, I was the only other person who knew what his problem was. It was for this reason I took an interest in what was going on. I wanted to know what Edward would say to everyone else.

He stared down at the table with a frustrated look on his face. It was clear to everyone that he did not want to discuss it which made them want to know even more. Emmett especially. he simply refused to drop this subject.

"Today Edward...while we're still young!" Emmett insisted. He truly was becoming impatient. Edward's angered expression towards this just added to Emmett's amusement and a little bit to mine.

"There's nothing." He said matter of factly.

"Edward we're not stupid and you're acting skills are getting faulty which only adds to how much you're acting not like you," Rosalie started. "You might as well just say what it is because most of us know tha Emmett will not drop this."

"It's about a girl isn't it!" Emmett pushed.

"Yes Emmett. It's about a girl" Edward responded. It seemed more like he was just agreeing with whatever Emmett said just to shut him up.

"I knew it!" Emmett exclaimed. "You're getting soft on us Edward."

"I'm not getting soft." He just about shouted. "I just had a disagreement with Jessica earlier today and I guess it's bothering me more than I thought." I couldn't surpress my momentary laugh. Knowing that this wasn't true made this interesting to me. So now he was going to lie to his friends? I thought it was bad enough when it was just me but everyone else? Really? What was so bad admitting being jealous that I brought someone? Was he ashamed of being jealous of me or something? Wow, talk about feeling lousy.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice asked. I guess she noticed my expression turn to one of hurt at that moment.

"Yes of course Alice," I said smiling at her. Then I turned to Edward to properly address him. "You and Jessica had a disagreement earlier? That's not what it sounded like to me..." I stated. He knew where I was going with this, which is exactly why he was suddenly glaring at me.

"Bella.." He said through his teeth, while making a failing attempt of not sounding angry.

"Edward?" I simply responded, not caring how angry that question made him.

"Oh, Bella heard you two...nice!" Emmett added and Rosalie smacked him in the head.

"You already have girls over?" Jasper asked, now looking up at Edward. "You just moved in yesterday; I see you're not wasting your time." He laughed.

"It's not like that." Edward said, obviously aggitated by the sudden interest in his life behind closed doors.

"Of course not." I said, glaring at him and then looked away from Edward and at Jacob who looked a little sad. I felt bad having him sit here with people he didn't know and listen to this. And unfortunately, see me react in such a negative way towards my best friend. I definitely had to make it up to him; this is not how I envisioned this party turning out. It was getting awkward, at least for me. "Anyway, I'm getting a little tired," I started. "Jacob, you want to head out?" I smiled at him, hoping he was catching on to my idea to leave.

"Yea, I'm beat." He said, smiling back at me. I took his smile back as though he knew what I was doing. I noticed Edward clench his fists.

"Well what's the rush...you only just got here." Edward said, attempting to prolong our exit.

"Maybe, but we've both got a busy week ahead of us." I said, as I started getting up.

"That's a shame...I don't think we all got to hear how you two met." Edward threw in.

"Edward, they go to school together. We all do, I'm sure that's where they met." Emmett said.

"Actually no, strangely that's not where we met." I said to everyone. I'm sure Jasper already knew because Alice usually filled him in on these situations. I turned to face Edward, directing my next response to him and him alone."We met at the cafe the other day. He helped me make a quick escape when I saw my best friend swapping spit with some girl I knew nothing about when we were supposed to be meeting for breakfast to discuss Alice's engagement party ideas." I think my response really hit a nerve with Edward. His expression softened and he looked sad for a moment. Maybe it was because he now knew that the partial reason Jacob was in my life now was because of Edward himself, even though I never had to react that way at the Cafe. Thinking back on it though, I was glad things played out the way they did. Meeting Jacob and pushing myself to put my feeling for Edward aside may have been a good thing for me. He was great and after dealing with tonight, I definitely could not go on without knowing Jacob. He was taking all of this really well considering the things that were playing out in front of us.

"Bella.." Edward started, sounding as though he wanted to apologize but I stopped him.

"We're heading out." I stated to stop whatever he wanted to say to me. I looked at everyone else. "I'm sorry you guys, but we should definitely do something soon."

I went around and gave everyone a hug and a kiss and said goodnight. I didn't hug Edward. I simply nodded at him and told him I'd see him back at the apartment. Jacob was really nice as well. He thanked everyone for being so welcoming and allowing for him to come to the party. All things considered, the night wasn't completely horrible. The drive back to Jacob's apartment wasn't awkward at all, thankfully. We engaged in casual conversation which was nice. It was a great opportunity for us to get to know each other.

"So that was the best friend I helped you escape from..." He had said at one point.

"Yes it was," I answered. "I'm sorry you had to deal with him. He wasn't acting like himself at all tonight. He's not usually so rude and impolite."

"Maybe not, but he's jealous so I don't blame him. I'd probably be the same way if I saw you with another guy." he said.

"He had no reason to be jealous. Edward and I are just friends." I told him.

"Friends who are secretly inlove with each other," he added.

"Jacob, I won't hide the feelings I have for Edward. But I also won't hide that it's not healthy to dwell on something you know will never happen. It isn't healthy," I answered as honestly as I could. "And besides, Edward's not in love with me."

"Bella...I'm a guy. We know these things when we see them." He laughed. "Your best friend is in love with you, whether he can admit it to you or himself or not. I can't blame him though...I've barely known you but in that time that I've had I can already see how incredible you are."I wasn't sure how to take what Jacob was telling me about Edward and about his own feelings for me.

"That's very sweet of you Jacob...not about Edward. About what you said about your feelings, I mean," I responded somewhat quietly.

"Hey, just like you, I have no reason to not be honest. I call it like I see it," he said smiling. Not too long after this part of the conversation had started, we had arrived at his apartment. He was getting ready to get out of the car when I asked him to wait just one more second.

"Jacob, thank you for coming with me tonight. Despite Edward's attitude the entire time, I did have a good time with you. Hopefully we can do this again soon..." I said, biting my lip.

"I'd love that Bella," he said, with a smile on his face.

"Great, we'll talk soon then? I asked.

"Definitely!" He said and leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek. I couldn't help but smile. It was a simple gesture, one that I had intended to give him but he beat me to the punch. I was glad he did.

"Sweet dreams Jacob," I said.

"Sweet dreams, Bella," he replied as he closed the door and walked over to his building. I spent my entire drive back home thinking about Jacob and him kissing me on the cheek. There was no reason to upset myself at a time like this. I was too busy being happy thinking about Jacob and a potential date in the near future. I thought about whether or not I should contact him or if I should wait until he called me...I felt like such a girl. I laughed at this thought. I guess I'd play it by ear even though I felt strangely reassured that with Jacob, I wouldn't have to worry about who called who first. I just knew if I was willing, it'd all fall into place on its own. Before I knew it, I was parked at my own apartment. I didn't even look to see if Edward had gotten back yet, which wasn't unusual. I was slowly adjusting to the part where I was now roommates with my best friend. I did know that when I walked into the apartment, it was locked and dark once I got inside. it made me think Edward hadn't gotten back yet. That was fine. I'd have more time to myself and time to think about everything. It really was too much at once.

I was so deep in thought when I entered my room and turned my light on. It was almost as though I was in my own little world. I had started unbuttoning my top and in a matter of seconds had it off and reaching for my tank top when I unexpectedly heard a voice from my bed. It was so unexpected that I jumped and let out a small scream.

"About time you got back." It was Edward, who had apparently been sitting in my bedroom the entire time in the dark waiting for me to get back from Alice's party. I was too furious to realize I was standing in front of him in my bra. I had accidently dropped my tank top when he startled me. I quickly picked it back up and covered myself up.

"Are you kidding me!" I yelled at him!

**A/N: Hey again...so the two parts were posted together...the sooner you review the sooner the next chapters will be uploaded! thanks :)**


	7. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 12: Unleasing Frustrations

Edward sitting in my room in the dark without saying a word had really pushed me. It was bad enough that earlier he had walked in on me when I was getting out of the shower. Now, he was welcoming himself into my room without my knowledge and just letting me get undressed infront of him. He had such bad timing with making himself known, it was ridiculous. If he wanted to talk so badly, he could've waited on the couch or something. Why did it have to be my room? Was he even thinking?

"No I'm not kidding." he said. "I've been sitting here waiting for you for the last half hour. What took you so long?" he demanded.

"Ok, I'm going to overlook for the time being the fact that you were sitting in MY room in the dark allowing me to take my clothes off until you finally said something," I started. "And are you seriously trying to keep tabs on me Edward? What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem!"He spat back, staying seated on my bed as I hovered over him holding my tank top up to cover myself.

"Really? You don't?" I asked angrily. "Then explain to me your unnecessary behavior towards my friend tonight Edward. Explain your sudden need to take a moment outside to express how jealous you were in the heat of the moment and about a situation that didn't even exist. Explain to me your need to squeeze in between me and Jacob in such a tight space and your need to make your problem with me and Jacob even talking in the same room as you known to everyone. Explain to me your problem when I got up and said I was leaving. How about that one Edward? Because based on all of your actions from the moment Jacob and I set foot into Alice's apartment, you've had nothing but problems!" I stared at him fuming. I hated being this way with Edward. I hated being like this in general. It was completely unlike me. I was usually the one to keep a level head. This time however, I failed to do it. I took in a deep breath in attempt to pull myself together. I noticed again that I was simply holding my tanktop over myself to make sure I wasn't standing here in just my bra. I walked over to the door of my walk in closet and stepped inside to put it on.

"Bella? Why are you going to your closet?" He asked, confused.

"To put a tank top on. Holding it over me was annoying." I answered him.

"You could've just dropped it..." He implied.

"Ha, funny Edward." I scoffed at him.

"Wasn't trying to be funny..."he mumbled but I heard what he said. A minute later I was back in the bedroom standing over Edward with my arms crossed. I wasn't going to let him get off the hook so easily.

"So, explain yourself." I demanded.

"I don't even know how to Bella," He sighed. He looked frustrated with himself though I didn't understand why. "I have no idea what came over me when I saw you with that...that..." I cut him off for a moment.

"Jacob." Edward looked up at me for a split second and then looked away.

"Yea. Him. I don't know what came over me. When I saw you two together, it was like nothing I've ever felt before. I was furious but I couldn't understand why. I know my actions were inexcusable; I behaved like a jealous ex boyfriend. Which is ridiculous, I know.." He trailed off.

"Edward, you're not the only one who acted that way. So it'd be unfair of me to let you beat yourself up when I'm guilty for the same crime..." I told him. We did have this in common. His reaction of seeing me with someone else was the same one I had. Only difference was that I was actually in love with Edward. I guess now was as good a time as any to put everything out there in the open.

"What do you mean...I haven't seen you that way at all. And if you have, it definitely doesn't even come close to being as bad as to what I did tonight. I must have completely spoiled your evening. I'm so sorry Bella," I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"Except I did Edward...that's why I left the Cafe when I did get there. Seeing you and that girl all over each other...it hurt me and I panicked. I didn't know what elese to do but run and get out of there..." I said, looking down at my feet. I felt like an idiot now for running.

"I don't understand Bella...it's never bothered you before to see me with another girl...let alone hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt you, you know that," He said. Everything was being put on the table now. It was finally coming out why I had reacted the way I did towards him and I felt strong for it. Something wasn't holding me back like every other day. It was the opposite. Something was pulling the words out of my mouth and I was no longer in control.

"Yes, well, I've never admitted to myself before that I was in love with you. So it didn't seem to apply to my emotions before..." I stopped short. There it was. No going back now. I had just confessed I was in love with him but I refused to take my eyes off of the floor. I was scared to see how he'd react.

"What did you just say?" He asked, slightly confused.

"Please don't make me repeat myself..."I said, not looking up. Since I wasn't looking at him for his response I didn't notice him stand from the bed. It was his hand which he placed under my chin to lift my head so our eyes met that gave me that indication. I had no choice but to look at him with his hand ensuring I did this.

"You just said you were in love with me? I'm not hearing things...? " he asked, his eyes focused directly on mine. I took a deep breath before answering.

"No, you're not hearing things Edward. I love you. I always have. It just took me a while to admit it to myself and to you..." I never broke eye contact with him as I said this.

"How long?" he asked which confused me.

"How long what?" I asked back, truly unsure of what he meant by this question.

"How long have you known? How long have you kept this from me? How could you keep this from me?" He asked. He looked hurt. When he put it this way, I was just like him when it came to keeping things from him. I had apparently started it way before he did but purely for the protection of our friendship. I messed up and I never realized until this moment.

"A few years," I started. Before he could interject, I continued. "But each and every day during that time I tried to tell you how I felt. It just wasn't easy when each time you'd have a new girl in your life. So because of that and being afraid of you seeing our friendship differently, I always failed at telling you...except that one night when I first realized it. I almost told you but..." I stopped myself. That night was embedded in my memory forever.

```We had had such an amazing night together. It was my surprise for him for his birthday and things were going great. I had made reservations at his favorite restaurant which is something we usually did for each other when an important event presented itself. I had almost gone out and said it when I noticed he wasn't even looking at me for majority of the time I had been telling him what I'd been thinking. His eyes were glued to some bombshell over at the bar...clearly too old for him at the time... I didn't have his attention. No matter how many times I called his name to get his attention, it never worked which said a lot about how much he seemed to care about what I wanted to say. I promised myself then that I wouldn't put myself through that embarrassment and hurt again and despite my efforts, I always came close. There was always something that came up. ```

"But what Bella..." He asked, his eyes searching mine.

"But you were so focused on the woman at the bar that you weren't hearing me...not even paying attention to me...No matter what I said or did, your eyes were glued to her," I said. I felt a tear run down my face. The tears always seemed to betray me. He looked at me with shock on his face. I guess maybe he remembered that night.

"My 18th birthday dinner..."he said, sadness filling his eyes.

"Yes."I whispered. I didn't care that his hand was still holding my chin. I couldn't look into his eyes when I was getting so emotional about this.

"Bella...I'm so sorry," he said. His hand was now cupping my cheek. I could feel how minimal the distance was between us. While I was standing here, hurting, I also felt complete. This is what felt right for me; to be this way with Edward with everything on the line.

"You don't have to be." I whispered.

"Oh I think I do," he answered but before he could let me say anything else, I felt his lips on mine. There are no right words to describe how I felt in this moment. I felt so complete yet I never knew how empty I had truly been until Edward kissed me. It was as though everything had fallen into place. All the puzzle pieces finally being put together the way they were meant to and nothing was going to keep them from staying this way. I wrapped my arms around him, holding on to him as though my life depended on it. I didn't want this moment to pass, not for one second. That electric current which I felt flow through us earlier was back and stronger than ever. It didn't want to disintigrate. I couldn't let it. I felt Edward turning me around and begin to walk forward only I was now walking backwards until my legs backed into my bed. Was this where this kiss was leading us? Into bed together? Did I want this? Sure, I'd always want to experience this for the first time with the man I was inlove with; it was an added bonus that he happened to also be my best friend. But did I want it this way? A random heat of the moment, not knowing what this person was thinking? So many thoughts were entering my mind no matter how much I urged them away and to let me be. All the while Edward had moved us higher up on the bed so that my head was comfortably resting on the pillows. He was leaning over me, never taking his lips away from my lips. He was passionate, I had to give him this much. I felt his hand move along my stomach, passed my waist and to my leg as he snaked it around his waist. It was at this moment that all the red flags had gone up in my mind. When what was about to happened has really registered before it could go anywhere else.

``What are you doing!`` I shouted to myself. I had just admitted to my best friend I was inlove with him. Did I ever, at any moment hear him confess his love for me? Or at least make mention of it for what it really was? No. He simply apologized that I never had the chance to tell him sooner because of his lack of interest. Lack of interest. This stuck out in my head more clearly. Along with every reason that had stopped me from telling him in the first place. It had always been some other girl. And lately, a new girl each time I had seen him. This in no way could mean as much to Edward as it would mean to me and if I didn't do anything in this moment to stop it, I would never get this back. And no matter how amazing it would be to do this with Edward, it would just be another fling and hook up for him. I couldn't trust in my best friend to this extent. I coudln't trust that he wouldn't crush my hopes. I couldn't trust that if this happened, that he would still be here with me the next morning, not taking in the fact that we both lived here. All I could think about was the next day, there would be some other girl after me. And my heart would have been shattered into a million pieces. I couldn't do that to myself.

I had already realized what I needed to do when I felt his hand moving to my tank top. It was going to go too far too fast if I didn't stop it now. I had to. Allowing this much to have happened was the worst thing already I could've done to myself. I was better in the dark when Edward knew nothing. I never knew then how much I wanted and needed him. I never knew how much I loved him or how it would feel like to kiss him. And now, I knew it all and it would be that much harder to let it go. And then there was Jacob. I know he and I were not together and I knew how much I wanted to start developing some sort of a relationship right now. Obviously, I didn't know how I could do it now. Not with how hurt I'd be as soon as I told Edward we couldn't do this. I needed a friend right now. I wasn't sure if I should go to Alice or to Jacob...it was always Alice in times like this. But right now, she was pregnant and fragile and couldn't be under a lot of pressure. I was at a standstill. First thing was first...ending this crime of passion before it was to late for me.

I started to shift from under him; which instead of cluing him in to stopping gave him the indication that I was trying to move to be on top so he moved onto his back. I tried mumbling under his kisses but couldn't. Not until he moved his lips to my neck and planted gentle kisses along my neck line.

"Edward..." I whispered, trying to move to be able to sit up to put an end to this.

"Oh Bella," He mumbled back. This really was about a lay for him, wasn't it? He just wouldn't budge or think for one second that something could be wrong. I guess the constant moving around and struggle to get to a different more approprate position wouldn't clue him into what really needed to happen. It needed to stop. Determined, I put both hands on his chest and pushed myself up.

"Stop!" I demanded. He pulled away, confusion forming on his face.

"What's wrong Bella?" He asked.

"This. All of this!" I shouted as I moved to get off my bed. "None of this should be happening and if you cared or felt even remotely close to what I feel for you then you would know that too! This is always the solution for you Edward, isn't it!" He couldn't answer. I dont' care if he knew how to respond to it or what, but I was not spending another night in this apartment. Not as long as Edward slept in the bedroom down the hall. I grabbed a small duffle bag and threw clean clothes in, grabbed a sweater and left the bedroom in search of my car keys and cell phone. I heard Edward shuffling to get out of the bed to follow me and what? Try to stop me? It was too late for that!

"Bella, wait!" I heard him shout as I moved closer to the door.

"No Edward. I'm not waiting anymore. I am not going to sit around waiting for you to really open your eyes and see what is really going on in front of you. And responding to what I said to you the way you did...it was wrong Edward. If you were thinking and really cared, you would've already known that! Don't follow me!" I shouted just before I slammed the door in his face. I grabbed my phone as I made my way to the car and called Alice to see if she was available but there was no answer. She and Jasper were probably having their own romantic evening now that the party was over. I had no one else. It was either my best friend...who had been the cause of all of this or my sister, who wasn't answering her phone. I wasn't as close with Rosalie to be able to come to her this way, at least that's how it felt like to me. And then there was Jacob, who I barely knew. Right now, he was my only option and that hurt. I dialed his number, hoping he would wasn't asleep by now.

"Hello?" I heard him mumble into the phone. I woke him up!

"Jacob?" I couldn't hold back my tears at this point. I needed to let it all out, no matter what the cost. If I was showing sign of weakness, I didn't care right now

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He asked, more awake now than when he had originally answered his phone.

"Jacob, I need someone right now. I know it's late but I can I come over?" I managed to ask between sobs.

"Yes of course! Bella, what happened" he sounded worried. I hated having people worried about me.

"I'll tell you when I get there. I'm a block away," I said and hung up the phone. Not five minutes later I had pulled into his apartment complex and parked my car in visitor parking. I grabbed my bag and ran over to his door. He opened it, eyes completely wide awake and full of concern, for me. I couldn't say anything. I just ran into his arms and let it out. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I felt him shift his position and the next thing I knew he was carrying me into what I guessed was his bedroom and sat down on the bed with me in his lap. He didn't say anything. He just held me and let me cry for as long as I needed. I was really glad I made the decision to come here. There was no pressure to say what happened all at once. He was comforting me in the way that I needed, by just letting me get everything out there and when I was ready, I would speak. I was grateful I had a friend in Jacob. There were no words describe how amazing he had turned out to be...

**A/N: So what'd you all think? Review to let me know! The more reviews, the sooner I post more chapters...and I've got a two parter next...**


	8. Chapter 13 Part 1 & 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 13-Hurt

Part One

I wasn't sure how much time had passed since I arrived at Jacob's apartment. Whatever time had passed, I had been moved from my seated position in Jacob's lap to laying down in his bed with the covers over me. I opened my eyes. They felt heavy to me and my vision was slightly blurred at first until I finally adjusted myself. There had been a big pile of tissues beside me on the bed, apparently I had made a big use of them. My face was still wet from all the tears I had shed over what had happened. And most of all, Jacob had crossed my mind. I was after all in his apartment, in his bedroom and in his bed but I wasn't quite sure where he was. I looked around the room and noticed him seated in the chair by the door, staring at the floor. He looked as though he had no sleep at all.

"Jacob?" I asked, I had to cough a bit because my throat felt weird. He sighed in relief after I called out to him. He got off the chair and moved over to the bed to sit beside me.

"Bella," he sighed and faintly smiled. "I was really worried about you...I could never have imagined someone being in so much pain...I'm so sorry..." I cut him off.

"Sorry? Jacob...I should be apologizing to you. I came here in the middle of the night without any explanation and you end up losing an entire night's sleep because of me! I feel horrible." I said, putting my face in my hands. He stopped me though, he took my hands in his and looked me straight in the eye.

"Never apologize for that. No matter what way you have me in your life...as your friend or as your boy friend...which ever you need or want, never apologize. I will always be here for you, especially through times like this. You made the right choice coming here Bella. I'm here for you." he said. I can tell by the way he stared into my eyes how serous he was when he said this to me. I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you Jacob, that means a lot to me. You letting me be here means a lot," I half smiled. He turned back to the night stand to grab something and handed it to me.

"Here, it's been going off like crazy. I think you might want to check it," He said. It was my cell phone. I took in a deep breath before I unlocked it to see what I had missed while I was out. There were 10 missed calls from Edward, 20 missed calls from Alice and of course, voice mail which she probably filled. I then noticed all the text messages I had from both Edward and Alice. I went through hers first.

-Bella, I'm so sorry I missed your call, I hope your not mad at me-A

-Bella, I've been calling you, is everything ok?-A

-Bella, this isn't like you, you usually answer my phone calls right away. I've called five times. What happened?-A

-Bella, why is Edward calling me and Jasper looking for you? He's called here over 20 times...where are you?-A

-Bella, Edward showed up here looking for you not believing us that you weren't here. He told us what happened...at least his version of it but omg! Why didn't you show up at my door! I'm worried about you-A

-Bella, you need to call me back. I'm about to call the police and put out a missing person's search!-A

There were many other messages that were from Alice. I was furious that Edward had decided to be so stupid and wreckless. She was freaking out now and it was all his fault! She wasn't supposed to be under this amount of pressure! I instantly opened a blank message to sent her my response, hoping it would help ease her nerves.

-Alice. I'm so sorry Edward decided to be stupid and wreckless by showing up at your apartment in the middle of the night! I didn't show up because I wanted to give you and Jasper your alone time and avoid stressing you out at a time like this, of course Edward didn't think to be that smart about it at all. I'm ok, better than I was last night. I'm at Jacob's place, he's really helping me out. Please don't worry. I'll give you a call after I straighten myself out. I love you! -B

Not a two minutes later, I was already receiving Alice's response. She was releived to know I was ok and furious that Edward had handled the situation so poorly. What I really loved about my bond with my sister was that we generally interpreted situations almost in the same way. So I was pretty sure she had reacted the same way once she heard about what happened after I admitted to loving Edward. I knew she probably gave him an ear full. That was one thing I no longer needed to worry about. Next, I moved on to the messages I had from Edward. I didn't want to read over them but I figured looking at a few wouldn't kill me.

-Bella...where did you go?-E

-Why won't you answer my calls?-E

-I don't understand what I did wrong! How could you just leave like that? Why couldn't you stay to talk to me Bella!-E

-I talked to Alice...I know I messed up. Big time but I thought it was what you wanted. Please talk to me...-E

-This apartment is too empty without you Bella, I'm going crazy without you..-E

-Come home to me...-E

I couldn't look at the rest of them. They ranged from expressing his idiocy to what seemed to me fake concern. I couldn't tell anymore. I just knew I wasn't sure if going back to the apartment right now was the best idea. How could it be? I emptied out my voicemail and my inbox which was now full because of everything Alice and Edward had left me. Once it was done, I threw the phone to the opposite side of the bed.

"That many messages, huh?" Jacob asked.

"More than I wished there were." I sighed.

"So," he started. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yea, I do..."I replied. For the next few hours Jacob and I sat there talking about everything that had happened. About Edward and I finally having our confrontation about everything that had been happening. About how I finally admitted to the feelings I had for him. About Edward's instant decision to kiss me following it by moving our moment of passion to the bed thinking something would come of it. This really made Jacob mad, I could imagine why too. I knew he had feelings for me so already I could tell this was hard for him. But he deserved and needed to know. I told him about how I had stopped it and what I had said to Edward as I stormed out of the apartment. It was a lot of information I had been sharing with him. Most was personal information I didn't think I would share with Jacob so soon. But I was happy I did. I felt comfortable with him which helped make me feel better about what happened.

"I can't believe he did that Bella," Jacob said, shaking his head in disapproval. "I would've thought he would have expressed how much he loved you. But...he didn't. I can't believe it."

"I told you, he doesn't feel that way about me," I said, feeling another tear escape. What was the use of denying them at this point?

"He does Bella. I just can't understand why he's choosing to be such a coward." Jacob said.

"I don't know Jacob. I don't have the energy to care at this point. He had his chance to speak up or at least handle it properly. But the way he chose to..." I sat their, shaking my head in disbelief. I had envisioned how that would play out once I finally told him how I felt and not once did I think he would handle it the way he did.

"Bella...I haven't been around the two of you for very long. But in that one night I could see the connection you two share. Could you have it with someone else? Yes. Do I want it to be me? Yes. But no connection is ever the same when it's compared to someone you are meant to be with. You two belong together...so all of this shouldn't be locked away because he's blind. These things take time." he said to me. "And I'm not about to stand in the way of that, especially with the potential I see with you two."

"Jacob, you're amazing you know that?" I asked him.

"I try...but I also am here to be your rock Bella. Right now your best friend isn't doing a good job of that and I am happy to be here for you. If this is the way you need me, you have me." He said, smiling at me. I couldn't help but lean closer to hug him. I'd never met a guy that was so selfless like Jacob. Here he was sacrifising his own feelings he developed for a complete stranger in order to see her be truly happy. Settling was not an option Jacob was prepared to give me. After talking more in depth about what was best for me to do or not, we both decided staying here would be the best idea, at least for a few days. With classes coming up this week, I needed to return to the apartment to grab a different set of clothes than the ones I had already grabbed and my books. If I came across Edward, I wasn't sure how I'd handle the situation but I wouldn't run away from it. Maybe we could even sit down and talk and take things slow and rebuild our friendship with a fresh start. I wasn't sure. Only time would tell. While I was gone, Jacob was going to run over to the grocery store and pick up some ingredients; he wanted to cook me a home made meal in attempt to make me feel better. He also planned on picking up a few movies; I had requested comedies but left it up to him to decide.

Once everything was settled, we got into our cars and went our sepererate directions. I turned on the radio and blasted the music in attempt to clear my worries which were now developing as I anticipated stepping foot into the apartment again. "Grenade" by Bruno Mars came on and it almost drove me insane. An unbelievable good song but made me feel so much of the situation I was in. Turning up the music clearly hadn't helped me. I was still stuck here almost in my apartment complex about to possibly face Edward. When I pulled in, I turned off my radio and put my car in park. I took a deep breath and headed up.

Things looked pretty much the same since I had stormed out in the middle of the night. Once again, I hadn't noticed Edward in the living room or the kitchen which made me more causious of him once again sitting in my bedroom. I slowly walked in but it was empty. That's weird. I thought I saw his car parked out in the lot, yet he wasn't here? I let out a deep breath, partially relieved that I didn't have to have another confrontation with Edward. That's when I heard things fall in from his room, as though someone knocked something over. I quickly but quietly went over to his bedroom door and placed my ear against it to hear what was going on. Stupid of me, I knew this but if something was serioulsy wrong, how else would I know? I heard something else fall over, coming from a different corner in the room followed by a girl giggling. Edward had a girl in there? I had no control over my actions...my hand was already moving for his door but I was too late in trying to stop it. I had lightly knocked on the door so there was no going back. I heard some struggle but then nothing. Just another giggle. My hand, once again without my control instantly went to the door knob, which happened to be unlocked. I knew I'd probably would regret it, but I had to open this door and see what was going on. If worst came to worst, then my excuse was I heard things breaking. I had the upside in the fact that it was true.

Slowly but also as quietly as I could do it, I turned the knob and slightly opened the door. From what I saw at first was some of Edward's picture frames on the floor broken; they had been knocked down. Something of his from across the room had also fallen and broke but I couldn't see what it was. And then of course, my eyes went over to the bed as soon as I heard more giggling. What I saw, I really wish I didn't see. There was Edward with some blonde I'd never seen before straddling him; thankfully all clothes were intact so I hadn't walked into something that probably would've been worse for me to see. Though her top had been unbuttoned and she was kissing him. I didn't stay around long enough to witness what looked would soon be something I could've been doing with Edward last night. I was more and more proud of myself for not going through with it. Just as I pulled the door to close, it made a creeking noise which made them both aware I had been at the door. Edward looked at me, horrified while this blonde looked irritated that she had been interrupted.

'I'm..I'm sorry," I stammered. "I heard something break so I came to make sure you were ok." I ignored the death glare being given to me by the blonde and kept my eyes at Edward. I wondered if he could see how hurt I was; I was trying to hide it as best I could. "Carry on with whatever you were doing." I said and closed the door a little louder than I had planned. I ran over into my room and locked the door behind me. Not even a minute had gone by and there I heard my door knob moving. I was glad I locked it because otherwise Edward would've been able to get it open and come in here making some pathetic excuse for what I had seen or try to talk about last night. I didn't have the strength to put up with it. I just wanted to get my stuff ready and just leave. Then he can have whoever he wanted over and I wouldn't have to deal with hearing it through the thin walls.

With the attempt to come in my room being unsuccessful, Edward now attempted at knocking on my door. The knocks were eager, as though he really wanted to get in. Too bad.

"Bella?" I heard him through the door, he sounded really concerned and panicked? I couldn't tell. I just knew that I was still looking for all my things and once again, my tears were betraying me. I hated this. "Bella...please let me in. I need to explain." I sat down on my bed in defeat. Last night I had completely given myself over to my feelings for Edward that now, no matter how much I tried I couldn't pull myself together.

"Edward, please. Go away," I said, I tried to not be so quiet with my response. I could feel myself breaking down; barely any energy to stay strong at least for a little while longer.

"Bella...please. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not letting you leave me again," He answered. "Please let me in...that's not what it looked like."

"I think it's exactly what it looked like," I said to him. I got up and went over to the door so he could hear me better, though I made sure when I unlocked it I did it so that he couldn't tell...at least not right away. It was no use avoiding talking to Edward; last time we did this it ended badly. Last night was evidence of that.

"Bella, I assure you it isn't," he pleaded. "Let me in, please."

"It's open." I said, almost in a whisper but he still heard me and instantly went for the door knob before I could lock it again. He came into my room; he looked so worried and genuinely sorry but I couldn't give in to it. I stayed seated on the bed but moved over the the other side when Edward came over to sit with me. He looked down, hurt that I didn't want to be so close to him. Could he blame me?

"Bella, thank you." He said, half smiling.

"It's no use avoiding all these needed conversations anymore. We don't do that," I said, staring down at the bed.

"You have to believe me, what you walked in on, that is not what it looked like," he started.

"Edward, come on. I'm not stupid," I whispered.

"No, I'm not saying that. But if you give me the chance, you'll know what really happened there," He stopped, waiting for my approval for him to continue. I nodded my head and he continued. "Bella, the girl you saw, that was Tanya. She was the one I broke up with almost a month ago. She came over here today to talk about us giving it another chance but I told her no. That I didn't want to be with her.." he stopped talking. I glanced up at him to see him staring at me intently.

"You said you didn't want to be with her...yet she was on top of you, giggling and.."I coudn't continue. I was stupid for letting all of this effect me the way it was. He wasn't mine but I couldn't get myself under control.

"She kept pushing it Bella. No matter how much I pushed for her to leave she just wouldn't. What you saw, that was all her while I tried getting her off of me. That's the truth, I didn't even expect her to stop by and I definitely don't know how she knew I lived here now," he said. I took in a deep breath before answering.

"I believe you." I said. "Even so, you didn't owe me an explanation Edward. You're free to be with who ever you want. There's nothing holding you back." There really was no point in wallowing in something that was not mine. Sitting here next to Edward, it made me realize how much it would hurt to lose him and not just in the way I would've loved. Which is why I needed to do whatever I had to in order to make sure Edward and I were still friends. Friends. I hated that word.

"Except there is something holding me back..." He began.

"I don't see anything that would Edward, nothing's changed." I said.

"Bella," he hesitated and moved a little closer to me while being sure to maintain a safe distance. I guess giving off the impression of him expecting something to happen here wasn't his intention. So this made me relieved. "I don't want to be with anybody else...I want to be with you. I love you Bella." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't. It couldn't be true. Could it? I wasn't sure what to say or what to do. I was frozen and unable to speak.

Chapter 13-Hurt

Part Two

I sat there in silence staring straight into Edward's eyes that were full of anticipation and wonder. Anticpation and wonder in how I would respond to what he had just confessed to me. He loved me...HE loved...ME. I still couldn't wrap my head around it. Something about it just seemed...off but I couldn't quite understand what. In all fairness, I knew Edward completely so I knew he didn't take these things lightly. I knew he would never tell a girl he loved her unless he meant it. But was he in love with me? Sure, he could love me but how was I to know it was in the same way that I loved him? I could tell he was growing anxious with all the silence. But I just couldn't bring myself to say anything, not anything he would want to hear. I was having doubts in his feelings for me and I knew if I told him, it would crush him, unless I was right and he was just afraid of losing me, which is why he would torture himself this much saying he wanted to be with someone he didn't truly want to be with. These thoughts were surprising to me. I mean, here I was being told by the person I was completely, whole-heartedly in love with that he loved me back. That's all I ever wanted. That's all anyone really wants if you thought about it...having a love returned by the one you want to be with; it's the best of both worlds. And here I was, having this one dream come true and I wasn't as happy as I should have been. Clearly, something was wrong with me.

"Bella..."he said to me as he moved a little closer than he had before. He was definitely anxious at this point. "Now is a good time to say something..." He half smiled at me. All I could do though, was stare back trying to form the words he wanted to hear. I just couldn't. I was sure he could tell I was struggling. But before I could let him say anything else, I had to make some words come out of my mouth before I made myself look like an even bigger idiot.

"I...um," was all I could get out at first. What could I say? I'm so happy, lets be together? No. I couldn't and wouldn't say that. I looked down at my bed, then at Edward. It was already bad that I'd been waiting this long to respond...that's not the type of response someone expects at a time like this. I felt horrible for it. But I had to get out of there. "I have to go." I got up and went over to the bag I had started packing and then over to my desk to grab my laptop and whatever books I needed for classes.

"You...have to go? Bella, I just told you I loved you..." He said, getting off the bed.

"I know that," was all I could say.

"Bella...why? Why are you running away from this?" he asked.

"Because I don't know what else to do Edward," I said, looking up at him. "I don't know what to do here, I'm sorry."

"Well one thing you don't do is pack your stuff and leave...I thought this is what you wanted.."He pursued. It was then that I stopped in my tracks and felt that my instinct had been correct. He was doing this because he didn't want to lose me. He was trying to put himself in a relationship he did not want, and I couldn't do that. I wouldn't.

"Edward...what I want is for you to be happy. That's all," I started. "And you don't have to tell me you love me just as a way to ensure I stay in your life. We're friends. Best friends and that won't change. So you're off the hook." I said. My bags were pretty much all ready for me to go. All I needed was to get around Edward and then I could walk out the door and finally have a clear head.

"Off the hook?" he asked, confusion filling his face. "For what?"

"This..." I said, gesturing between the two of us. "You don't need to pretend and try to convince yourself you feel something for me when you don't. That isn't fair to you." I said as I moved around him and headed for the living room. I hoped he'd stay where he was until I had the chance to leave but he didn't. He followed me. He wasn't going to let me leave and I could tell.

"Bella," I heard him behind me now. I felt his hand go for my shoulder to turn me around, though I did willingly. "I'm not pretending anything. This is real and I want to be with you. So please, don't push me away." I heard his words but they wouldn't register. All that went through my mind was the girls...I just didn't think he was ready for this.

"Edward...a part of me wants to stay here with you and embrace this. All I ever wanted was to be with you. And then there's the part of me that doubts you're ready for a committment; I don't know why, but I can't turn those thoughts off. I want to, but I can't. I need a clear head and I can't get that here," I said to him.

"I am ready," he started, but I stopped him.

"Maybe, but all I keep seeing is different girls around you. You have to understand where my doubts would be coming from. One day you're all over some girl at the cafe, the next you have a different girl in your bedroom and then a new one who you were in a relationship with...the record is speaking for itself." I started. "I just need time to think Edward, I'm asking you to give me that time." After I finished, I headed toward the door. In that time he said nothing, which added even more to my own insecurities. Was I right this whole time? Was he afraid to say something? Was he angry because maybe I was wrong? I didn't know. And with his silence, I had no way of knowing his thoughts about what I had just said. But just as I turned the door knob, he finally spoke to me.

"I don't want you to go," I heard him.

"I have to go," I replied.

"No...you don't." He said to me. "You can stay with me and we'll figure everything out together." I turned to look at him and saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Edward, please..." He looked down to the floor, trying to hide the hurt that I had caused him. No matter how much he pleaded with me to stay, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. If I stayed, I would probably give in and embrace a relationshp without thinking everything through. Edward himself was my distraction. By getting away, at least for a little bit, I could see for myself what I really wanted to do. I did want to be with him but I also wanted to make sure I made a choice that would not result in my own broken heart.

"I won't make you do anything Bella...if you need to go, I won't stop you as long as you promise me you'll me back." he said, refusing to look at me.

"I promise Edward...I was never leaving for good," I answered.

"When will you be back?" he asked,

"Few days, maybe sooner and we'll figure everything out together." At that, he nodded his head but did not speak. I didn't want to leave under these terms but what other choice did I really have if I wanted to give myself a fair chance to process everything? I quickly went over to him and hugged him. I didn' t want to let go and I could tell he was surprised by my actions. I was too but I was happy I did this. The moment I wrapped my arms around him I felt reassurance and knew I wouldn't have to be away for long. If this is how it would feel to really be with Edward, I could not pass this up. That would be the worse thing to do to myself. Just before I pulled away, I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and left the apartment with Edward surprised.

When I got in my car and took off for Jacob's apartment, I was beaming. The hug and kiss I had given Edward left me feeling beyond happy. It was where I belonged, I knew this. Pulling away from him and leaving was harder than it had been originally. I thought it may have been because I was fighting so hard to refuse the feelings he claimed to have that all blockades were up and refusing to let any true feelings show. But when I hugged him, all the walls fell and it hit me. Love is worth the risk. Edward is worth the risk. Why hurt myself by keeping myself away from him. I was so stupid for leaving and it took not being around him to realize this, which is what I had hoped would happen. That, or I would be able to process everything through time. Through all this, I heard my phone go off and I went to answer. It was Jacob.

"Hey Jacob," I said into the phone.

'Hey, I just got back to the apartment...where are you?"

"I'm just pulling in now,actually..." iI told him.

"Alright...how'd it go? Was he there when you went to grab your things?"

"Yea, with another girl but it was a huge misunderstanding. You were right though, about how he feels about me.." I said.

"So he finally admitted it..."

"Yea." I responded.

"And yet you're still going your way over to my apartment." He said, laughing.

"What can I say," I laughed back. "Denial is a cruel thing, but I just pulled in, I'll talk to you soon." I said and hung up the phone. As I walked over to Jacob's apartment, I had the feeling that this arrangement would only last the one night. So much of me wanted to just turn around and go to Edward but I knew for at least tonight, this would be a good thing. We'd both have time to figure out what we really wanted from each other, though I was sure of myself now. I wasn't at first but those girls are the past. I had to trust my best friend.

Jacob had helped me bring my bags into the apartment, though there weren't very many of them. I could tell he was supressing laughter, probably because from the moment I stepped foot into his apartment, I couldn't stop smiling. This had to be a good thing. A dangerous thing but still, a very good thing.

"So why are you here...considering what happened? He asked me.

"I needed time to think about what went on...I guess I sort of panicked," I told him.

"Why did you panic? Your best friend loves you back and finally manned up to it..you two should be happy right now," I don't think I even fully understood my own thought process of how things played out.

"I guess because a part of me doubts his feelings are true...I keep seeing him with all of these different girls so it makes me want to keep him at arms length. I'm not trying to be another one of those girls and be tossed aside, you know? I answered. I ended up drifting back to the thoughts about the girls only to quickly dissolve them from my mind. If I let myself entertain that idea even for one second, I would betray my true feelings and sabatage any chance I had with Edward.

"Bella," He laughed slightly. "you are definitely not one of those girls. Don't ever think that." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but believe what he was saying. We spent much of the night talking about everything that happened and discussing what I should or shouldn't do. Of course, he contniued encouraging me to seize the moment and not let my true love pass me by. It was weird for me to hear him talk like this, more so because it was unexpected. Nonetheless, Jacob really helped me with this. I appreciated him so much for it. I went to bed that night feeling content rather than conflicted with my emotions. I was eager to start the new day and go back to the apartment and of course, seeing Edward. I owed him a better explanation.

**A/N: So...any thoughts people? Let me know, another post will come afterwards...**


	9. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 14-Readjustments

``I found myself in a beautifully lit room surrounded by dozens of roses. The lighting, from what I could see, was brought on by candles which resided on every surface of the apartment I was in. I had been standing in the entrance, which gave me a perfect view of everything, though I was still taking in the view ahead of me. The candles, the roses, the faint sound of the piano being played through a recording, the candle-lit dinner...all of it. It was just too good to be true yet here it was in front of me. I stood there in awe, slowly taking it all in. My eyes, at first, slightly gazed at the candle-lit dinner that what had really been there beside it had not been given my full attention. I had to, without question, look back and once I did I could have sworn my jaw dropped. There Edward stood, dressed in a tuxedo holding a single red rose, smiling at me.

"I've been waiting for you," He said as he began to move towards me with his hand out stretched for mine. Without hesitation, I took his hand and let him lead me to the dinner table. I sat down but continued looking around the room. I was still breathtaken by what Edward had done. It was absolutely stunning and I couldn't believe he had done this for me.

"Well..I must say I feel a little undressed," I laughed, clearly nervous and making horrible small talk. Edward simply leaned toward me from his side of the table, staring into my eyes intensely and said, "You look beautiful in anything you wear Bella." I could see it in his eyes; he stared at me with pure admiration and love that I knew what he said was not some cheesy line. That look I had never seen him give anyone, let alone myself. Not until now.

"I have a surprise for you," He continued, though this too surprised me. Everything he had done was more than enough. So what else could he possibly have for me? "What are you doing next weekend?"

"I'm not sure at the moment, why?" I asked, confused.

"Because I've reserved the skating rink for the two of us for the day so if you had any major plans with Alice or Jacob...you may want to rearrange your schedule," He replied, smiling at me while attempting to joke around.

"Edward, you know I can't skate," I had feared ever trying to ice skate. It was bad enough I fell while on regular roller blades, you add ice to the equation and ultimately it is going to be a disaster. He simply smiled. Knowing Edward, he already thought it through and did not care.

"It's good we have the rink all to ourselves then," he said as he leaned in. He cupped my cheek with his hand and I couldn't help but lean into it. It felt like instinct for me to do. I noticed Edward begin to lean even closer to me than he had already done and like a magnet, I mirrored his actions. There was barely any distance between us at this point and I found myself anticipating what I had been stupidly resisting ever since I had admitted to Edward how I felt. This feeling alone reassured me that it was the right decision to set aside all fears and embrace this with Edward. I was now, officially, ready to risk every part of myself for love; for Edward. And just before our lips touched...everything disappeared``

I found myself no longer in the apartment, no longer being held by Edward, no longer surrounded by candles and roses and beautiful music. It was all gone and I was surrounded by darkness, with covers completely tangled around my feet. It had all been a dream. But how? It had felt so real. So beautiful. So amazing and so right. For it to not have been real was cruel and unjust. At this moment, I wanted to cry and surprisingly I did. I wasn't overly dramatic about it, just saddened by this loss which had not even been a reality. I glanced over at the clock to notice it was 2 in the morning and at this point, falling back to sleep for me was not an option. Instead, I sat there in bed thinking about what this dream had meant. My mind rested and explored the revelation that I was indeed ready to give everything up to be with Edward. I wondered if the dream had been telling me that everything I had been worrying about was over nothing, that Edward did in fact love me in the way I loved him. I wondered if this meant he could and would give up his lifestyle he had been living with all those girls in order to be with me and actually committ himself to me fully. I knew Edward and a big part of me believed he could. This dream helped me accept this theory to be true. I could not allow myself to allow any ounce of doubt to flow into my mind about this. I wouldn't.

Sitting there, unmoving I had decided I would not wait until after my classes to go see Edward and work everything out. Instead, I would leave a few hours sooner and take advantage of the time to talk to him. I knew that even though today I had two classes to go to, Edward had none until tomorrow and this was good. I didn't have to worry about holding him up. I only needed to worry about him being awake, which normally he wouldn't be. I knew by the time I left Jacob's apartment he would be awake because he had to get to the Cafe early to open up and get ready for the busy morning. I'd catch him just as I would be leaving and thank him for his help.

Through our conversation last night, he had been the one to make me realize how stupid I was being and how much I had been resisting my own feelings and my own fears. While it was understandable, it also said a lot about the type of person I was; one who was unwilling to take risks for what I believed in and I hated that. That was someone I never wanted to become and I was letting my own doubts scare me away. No more and thanks to Jacob, I was embracing it. Maybe it was this conversation that triggered the dream I had. But no matter what it had been, I was glad I had it. It was the perfect boost I needed to get me to stop running. I couldn't believe how stupid I had been this entire time.

Now, it was close to 6:30 in the morning and I couldn't wait any longer. I nearly fell over as I jumped out of bed and tried running over to my bags to get everything I needed to get myself cleaned up and ready to go. I felt stupid for not packing any cute outfits. I wanted to look nice for Edward but instead I'd look plain. Instead of getting upset over it, I made the best of it and after a little over an hour, I was ready and was leaving this room to go for the door. I hadn't been focused on my surroundings which was stupid but I was too excited over getting to see Edward. I had my hand on the door knob when I heard coughing behind me and I turned around at the noise, startled. I saw Jacob standing there with his arms crossed, grinning at me.

"Jacob..." I paushed, slighlty shaken. "you scared me."  
"Yea, sorry about that. But were you really planning on leaving without at least saying goodbye?" he said, still grinning.

"Well it wasn't goodbye...I was going to stop in the cafe and have lunch with you...share the story of how things turn out with Edward," I said to him.

"So you're finally done running away from your feelings," he said. "That's good. I'm happy for you Bella." I thought for a second I saw sadness in his eyes, but didn't think too much of it. We had spent so much talking about where we stood that it didn't occur to me he would be sad that I'd decided to actually give it a try with Edward.

"Thank you Jacob," I said to him. "For everything you've done and helped me with. I'll see you very soon." I went over and hugged him.

The drive back to the apartment felt like it was dragging with all the traffic I had stumbled upon. All I wanted was to already be at the apartment, with Edward and because of this, it made time go that much slower. I checked my phone for any messages as I stopped at the red light just before my turn for the apartment. I can't believe I hadn't checked it since last night. If I would have, I would've seen the message from Edward. I thought for a second if I should look at it or not but just as I was about to, the light turned green and I couldn't. It didn't matter though considering soon I would see him and we could just talk about everything face to face. I pulled up, unable to hide the smile on my face and noticed Edward's car parked two cars down from mine. Good. This meant he was home and I'd be able to talk to him and apologize for running off.

I entered the apartment, which had no sign of Edward in the living room. I assumed he had still been asleep. I ran over to my room to put my things down and made my way to Edward's. It wasn't locked or closed for that matter. His door was slightly opened so I let myself in. I couldn't see his face. He had fallen asleep with the covers covering him completely.

"Edward?" I whispered. I noticed him stir and heard a grunt from under the covers.

"Edward...I'm sorry for waking you up but this can't wait," I started. "I'm sorry for running off last night. I know I told you I needed time to process everything but I was wrong. I want this. I want to be with you, too. I'm in love with you and I'm done hiding it and running away from my feelings. I'm ready to have everything with you..." I blurted out. I stood there waiting for a response but he said nothing. All I noticed was more shuffling around under the covers, but not once had he made an appearance or motioned toward saying something back. I refused to let this bring my confidence down. I simply just needed to be patient. I went over closer to the bed and sat down beside where he was. As I leaned down to pull the covers off of him so that I could see his face, I heard the bathroom door open and in stepped Edward and I sat there staring at him seeing my own expression mirrored in his. We were both confused and surprised. But if Edward was standing in front of me with a towel wrapped around his waist, who was under the covers? I jumped off the bed when this thought crossed my mind. Of course, it was a girl. I couldn't say I was surprised at this since I had predicted he wasn't ready for a committment. All of this which was presented in front of me told me everything I needed to know. He wasn't ready and he could not committ. I wished otherwise but I couldn't dwell on this forever. Instead, I would do the opposite and had to do my best to not care.

"Bella?" Edward asked, confused. Before he could continue with anything else, I walked in his direction but continued toward the door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize..." was all I said as I passed him and left his bedroom. I caught a glimpse of all the clothes that were scattered over the floor as I made my way out and noticed a girls dress and undergarments laying around. It all seemed to make sense, though I wasn't going to respond the way I had been over the passed few days. This was part of life and I had to deal with it.

"Bella, wait up," I heard Edward following behind me. Instead of going to my bedroom, I went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast. I opened the cupboard and started unloading ingrediants.

"Does your girlfriend want pancakes or do you think she'd like waffles better?" I asked him, completely ignoring any sign of hurt on my face. I could see sadness in his eyes though at what I said.

"No. I mean, she isn't...well..."He had trouble finding his words.

"She's not a pancake or waffle person. That's ok, maybe scrambled eggs and bacon would be good. If you could ask her for me, that'd be great," I said smiling at him.

"I'm not going to do that," he said, looking down.

"Why not? I could have breakfast ready for everyone since I'm going to start making it for myself." I responded. "You can even put yours on a tray and have breakfast in bed if you two would prefer to eat alone. I think we have a tray around here somewhere." I started to look for the tray and quickly found it. Alice had kept everything in specific places when she still lived here with me.

"Why are you acting like this Bella? he asked.

"Like what? I'm just trying to make some breakfast Edward," I laughed and continued. "Here's the tray though. Breakfast in bed is now a possibility." I turned back to continue mixing everything to make pancakes. I was tempted to have chocolate chip pancakes but then reconsidered. I remembered Alice used most of them for the last batch we made so I wouldn't bother with it.

"That's not what I mean Bella," He said. "You're acting completely calm about all this."

"Why would'nt I be?" I asked without looking up at him. I was determined to keep finish my breakfast.

"Considering what happened last night with us...and what you just walked in on, I thought you'd be hurt or upset even," he started. "I can explain this.."

"Edward," I began and looked up to face him. "I am tired of hearing you explain what it is that I walk in on. It's getting old really fast. Regardless, you don't owe me anything. So lets just leave it where it is and move on with our lives the way they were before I made it complicated for you." He didn't respond. He either had nothing to say or was too afraid to say the wrong thing. I didn't care. I had cared too much already to worry about what he had to say to me. "And can you please find out about what she wants for breakfast, I do have classes today."

"Forget about the breakfast." was all he said to me before he turned his back to me and went back into his room. He slammed the door behind him. When I heard his door close, I exhaled a deep breath. I had been holding so much in when he stood in front of me but I refused to show weakness again. I took my dream as a sign that things would turn out the way I had been hoping they would. Now, reality was speaking louder than anything else and had all the power. There was no denying it. Nothing was going to happen now. Nothing could happen after all that's happened. Before it wouldn't have mattered who he had over and who he didn't. But last night, he confessed his feelings for me and made me believe something could happen with us. It was me who had asked for time to process and stupidly I believed he would wait. But not even 24 hours had gone by and I walked into the aftermath of a night he spent with another girl. This is what Edward truly wanted. This is what Edward would get, but I could not be around him with everything going on. It really was too hard and I couldn't stay at Jacob's place forever. It was then I decided I would start looking for a smaller place of my own; maybe even a nice loft or studio apartment and let Alice take care of the interior design. It sounded good to me.

An hour later, my breakfast was done but I had lost my appetite. Instead, I took my laptop out and checked my e-mail to see if my professors had sent out any important notifications and I had been right. My classes for today had been canceled, which was perfect because I could start apartment hunting right away. I took my phone out and called Alice.

"Hello?" I heard her say as she answered my call.

"Alice, hey! What are you doing today?" I asked her.

"Actually I'm meeting with the wedding planner tonight, what are you doing this weekend?"

"This weekend I'm free." I said with certainty even though I remembered what Edward had told me in the dream I had last night. It was just a dream, I repeated to myself. It wasn't real.

"Oh good!" she squealed. "Because I'm going to need my maid of honor to go dress shopping with me for my dress and hers! And I'm going to need my maid of honor to sit with me to get ideas of what I want for the party you and Edward are supposed to be planning..." I couldn't help but laugh at how excited she was. It made me miss having her around all the time.

"Ok, that's not a problem at all," I told her.

"Hmm, Bella doesn't mind going shopping?" she said. "This must mean something is up. Spill!"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to help me ship for something of my own that I need, but I can't wait until next weekend to start. But once I find it, I'll have another project for you if you're up for it." I said, clearly striking an interest with her.

"What's the project? What are you shopping for?" Yes, I had clearly sparked an interest.

"I'll surprise you with the project after I find what I'm looking for, sound good?" I asked.

"Well, that depends." she answered. "How long do I have to wait until I get to know what it all is?"

"That really depends on how long it takes for me to find it, Alice," I told her. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to wait!" she complained. "Tell me now!"

"No Alice." I said. "But I will start looking right away. My classes were cancelled so I'm going to go see if Jacob is available for lunch to help me shop."

"You and Jacob? I thought something was happening with you and Edward after what happened the other night..." she said to me.

"Well, to make a long story short, there was something and then there wasn't." I answered. "It was a back and forth type of thing and I decided to keep it more on the back part of it."

"I'm confused." she said.

"That's ok Alice, it's too complicated to explain and too long and not something I want to continue reliving. I'm moving on from it all." I said, matter of factly.

"Alright, can I call you tomorrow and let you know what's going on for the weekend and what to expect?" she asked.

"Yes, of course! Don't miss any detail!"

"Oh believe me, I won't. I'll talk to you soon. I love you!" she exclaimed.

"Love you too Alice," I replied and with that, our conversation was temporarily over. I looked over at Edward's door which had still been closed. I figured he was purposing blockading himself in there until he felt the coast was clear so why not head out now. I'd go to Jacob and see if he was available for lunch to help me start apartment hunting.

I arrived at the cafe to see Jacob closing up his register and moving his way to the back. I hoped this meant he was temporarily off work so that I could steal him away and start my search for apartments. Since my sister was busy with wedding plans, Jacob was the next best person to help me get everything started and settled. This used to be something I would go to Edward for but considering he was the reason I needed to move out of the place I loved so much, he was not someone I would be going to any time soon.

I walked into the cafe and headed straight to where I saw Jacob. "Jacob!" I called out to him and as soon as I had said his name, his head shot up and looked in my direction. He smiled at me, looking relieved to see me.

"Bella!" he walked over to me and I gave him a hug. I couldn't help myself.

"Please tell me I can steal you away for a couple of hours without you getting into any trouble..." I said, looking nervous. If taking him away from work on his break meant he would get into trouble, then I would not even ask.

"I am the manager, remember?" he smiled at me. "I can get away without any problems."

"Ok, great!" I said. "Because I really need your help." He motioned over to a table for us to sit down and I followed.

"So," he began. "How can I be of assistance?"

"I need your help."

"Yes, I know," he laughed. "With what exactly?"

"I need help finding an apartment; I was thinking maybe a loft or a nice studio; something that has potential." I said to him. He looked confused.

"What's wrong with your place?" he asked.

"It's," I hesitated, looking for the right words. "Too crowded."

"Oh." He said, his face registering now what may have happened when I went back this morning. "Another girl again?" I nodded and noticed Jacob clench his fists.

"It's fine Jacob." I simply said.

"Bella, I may not have known you for long but I know you well enough to know that this is far from being fine. He is unbelievable! He's even pushing you out of your own home because of how much it's hurting you!" he said angrily.

"Jacob," I sighed. "It's just not meant to be with him, I know that now. I need a fresh start and moving is the best chance for that. Alice has her fresh start; it's time for mine. I'm just asking you to be part of it." I smiled at him.

"I'll do what I can but Bella, I don't know if I can control the urge to hit him if I see him again, which I'm sure if I ever go with you to one of your parties, I will."He said and started to get up. I did the same and headed toward the door.

"So where to first?" he asked me as we got in the car.

"I know of this complex two blocks down from Alice's apartment that has a place available. They're accepting walk ins, so I guess that's the first stop." I told him and he nodded. Hopefully this place had everything I hoped it would; that way I could move in sooner-if possible-and I would be closer to Alice to be able to help if whenever she needed me. I was looking forward to seeing this place. I was even more thankful for Jacob being the one to come with me. I was starting to think that I could count on him anytime I needed him without worrying about hurting him. This gave me high hopes about what our relationship could possibly become. It was too soon for me to consider taking it somewhere but if things contiued the way they were, I didn't see a reason to hold back. He already knew so much about me which told me he cared to know these things. I couldn't say the same about Edward anymore.

My best friend was slipping away from me faster than I realized and I had no control over it. I just didn't know what had caused it; it couldn't have been my confession because it started a while ago, when he first decided to keep things from me. All I knew was I just wanted my best friend back and from the looks of it, that same best friend was the one pushing me away and didn't seem to care that he was doing this. If that is how he wanted it, then so be it.

**A/N: Can you believe she's moving out? Do you really think she's really going to go through with it? And what about Edward and what Bella walked in on...let me know what you all think! Any questions?**


	10. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 15-Changes

We pulled up to the apartment complex and had no trouble finding the manager's office. The leasing manager's name was Mr. Birdie, who from a first glanced appeared as a nice man. He welcomed us into his office with open arms, not minding being interrupted by people who did not have an appointment. We gladly came in and took our seats.

"Good morning, My name is Mr. Birdie and you are?" he asked as he shook Jacob's hand and then mine.

"Isabella Swan, and this is Jacob Black." I answered as I smiled at Jacob.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you both. How can I help you today?"

"I'm looking for a new place and I hoped you had a few places available for rent..." I told him.

"Are you looking for a single with two occupants or two bedrooms?" He asked..

"Just one occupant, one bedroom." I said.

"So this is for you Miss Swan, alright," he started. "As it happens, we do have twoplaces available right now for lease. Not rent. If that's not a problem, I'll be glad to show you what we have to offer..." I thought for a moment about leasing...that wasn't too bad. I could have easily gone and bought myself a nice place to live but I wasn't looking to live in a house by myself. I knew this was going to be the next best thing. If I could find a place here that was what I was looking for, I'd be closer to Alice and Jasper. This alone made me excited about the move because I missed being able to see Alice as often as I used to. This was another perfect reason for me to find my own place. The apartment I was living in now reminded me too much of the memories Alice and I shared together while living there. Instead of building new ones with Edward, that place is no longer somewhere I go and feel at peace and am happy. There is always something that comes up and I end up hurt. Edward was actually, while not realizing it, pushing me away through his actions.

I had been so lost in my thoughts about everything going on with Edward and missing Alice that I hadn't noticed Mr. Birdie and Jacob get up. I snapped back into reality when Jacob squeezed my hand. He looked at me with concern in his eyes but I smiled to reassure him. The first apartment Mr. Birdie took us to was on the first floor, which was nice. There was no balcony though, which was disappointing but not something I needed. The apartment was a simple, studio meaning no bedrooms. Just one big open space, a kitchen and bathroom. It looked as though the previous owner attempted to create a wall to seperate a bedroom area from the kitchen but somehow it didn't fit with the original construction of the room. While this place was simple and something that wasn't too big for just one person, it didn't feel like home.

The second and final apartment was next and I found myself growing nervous. I really hoped this place was what I was looking for. I had been hoping so much to find an apartment in this complex that if it didn't work out, I would honestly be sad. Just before unlocking the door to the next apartment, Mr. Birdie turned to face me.

"If the last apartment wasn't what you were looking for, I think this might spark some interest..." I looked at Jacob, who was also intrigued with what was in store for us beyond this door. Mr. Birdie opened the door and stepped in, allowing plenty of space for us to enter. I stood there, in awe at what I was seeing before me. This place was nothing like what I had imagined it would be. After seeing the studio, I assumed apartments here had similar features but I had been so completely wrong.

This apartment was big...bigger than I actually needed but would be perfect if I needed to accommdate any guests. It was white and open and had beautiful glass doors leading onto an extraordinary landscaped balcony. It consisted of two floors; the first floor had the kitchen and living room area divided with thin ionic columns, not solid walls. This seemed to go well with the overall scheme of the apartment. The kitchen had a cute little island which would been perfect for preparing meals. After the first floor fully sunk in, I made my way over to the stairs which led to the second floor; there were two flights. The railing on either side were made of glass as well, which added to the apartment's charm. Upstairs was even more overwhelming. There was one bedroom...which was bascially a master suite. It had two walk-in closets, though I wasn't sure why. Seeing this made me instantly think of Alice and how much fun she would have helping me bring my clothes over. The bedroom also had a bathroom which had both a jacuzzi and a shower. This was perfect. I could easily get new bedroom furniture if I needed to because of all the space that would have been left over if I brought my simple set. Though I also considered making this an office area. I noticed another room which was across the hall from the bedroom. This room was smaller, not designed for someone to sleep in but it was perfect for an office type room. The window was a little small to allow proper lighting but I considered what I could make of this room; perhaps an area where I could paint or write...

I stood in the room, deep in thought about the possibilites and potential this apartment had. I definitely did not expect to walk into such an extravagent place but I had and I couldn't let it go. It was everything I had hoped it would be. I felt at peace. I felt happy and calm. It was just right to start fresh.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob walk into the room. "Bella, this place is amazing!" I turned to look at him, unable to hide the smile that was now implanted on my face.

"I know, isn't it!" I answered. "I'm inlove with it. It's perfect!"

"Sold?" he asked with a grin, already knowing the answer to this question. I nodded my head and I ran toward him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you so much for being here with me," I said, not letting go of him.

"No thanks necessary," He replied as he hugged me tighter. "I'll always be here for you." I leaned back to look at him but not removing my arms from around him.

I didn't know what came over me, maybe it was the intense moment we were sharing as we stared into each others eyes. Maybe it was how true I knew his words were. Whatever it was, I found myself kissing Jacob and unwilling to break away from this kiss. Jacob's hold on me tightened, which only drew me in even further, giving me that indication that what was happening was not wrong. It was right. I had forgotten where we were. As far as I was concerned, it was only me and Jacob. No apartment. No Mr. Birdie. Nothing. We were alone together surrounded by nothing but stars if that were possible. It wasn't until a constant coughing sound, which continued intensifying in pitch, broke our moment and we pulled away gasping for air. Even though we had been interrupted by Mr. Birdie, Jacob and I continued staring intently at each other, both surprised and overwhelmed with the desire and passion we had just shared.

"I don't mean to interrupt...but I don't think this is the place to get carried away," He said, awkwardly wanting to look away from us. "Not that it's any of my business." I shook out of Jacob's hold. He seemed unwilling to let me go but after I looked at him questioning his actions, he did.

"Mr. Birdie, I am so sorry," I stumbled over my words. "I'm so embarrassed..."

"Don't be...I understand," he said, avoiding eye contact. "I was young once too..So, any thoughts about this apartment?"

"If it's available, I'll take it!" I exclaimed. I didn't want to waste another minute without knowing for sure this place was guaranteed to be mine.

"Perfect, let's head over to my office and get the paperwork started. When did you plan on moving in?" He asked.

"As soon as possible, maybe this weekend even," I said. I was more than ready to move in here. But I did need Alice's help if I was going to do this so soon. He nodded.

After talking with Mr. Birdie for another hour and filling our all necessary paperwork, we agreed I could be moved in by the end of the week but did have the chance to wait another week if I needed it. In the mean time, I was given a key to access the apartment so that I could slowly bring things in. I was going to use this opportunity to get Alice and ask her about the project. She already was overeager to know what I had up my sleeve and now that the apartment was already here and now leased in my name, I could tell her. When Jacob and I got in the car, I took my phone out to call Alice. She was just two blocks away which was perfect. We could stop by and I could share the news with her.

"Alice?" I asked into the phone.

"Bella, hey." she didn't seem as enthusiastic.

"Alice, I'm two blocks away with Jacob. Is it alright if we stop by?" she hesitated before answering me, which I thought was wierd.

"Now isn't such a good time, do you think you could come later?" she complained. This was unlike her, which made me refuse to give up without an explanation.

"I guess, but I thought you would want to know what the project is that I needed your help on..." I said to her. Before she could answer, I added something else which would make her unable to resist. "I was even going to put you in charge of it completely, full reins and all."

"Aww, Bella," she said. "Why would you do this?" she complained.

"I'm right outside your apartment, you just need to let us in," I told her.

"Alright, I'll buzz you in! It better be good!"

APOV

The morning had dragged on fairly slow, but if mostly felt this way because I felt slightly drained of energy. This was unacceptable. Pregnant or not, I had responsibiliites and I would not have anything stop me from planning my wedding! And when I said nothing, I meant nothing. Jasper had been so amazing with taking care of me though, especially when I would get sick at night. It only started two nights ago but he was still there, by my side. He was the best. I wasn't ready yet to get up and start my day; thankfully I didn't have to worry about classes today due to all the conferences my professors had to attend. Instead I had papers to write, which were already almost done. I was on top of it all. I felt accomplished. This was proof nothing could slow me down. If anything, it motivated me to get everything done faster.

I loved living with Jasper. I loved being able to see him at any time of the day and not having to wait until days passed until he was finally off work. Being here was amazing. It did have one down side; Bella wasn't here. I felt horrible for tricking her the way Edward and I did that day. It wasn't fair to her and I knew on some level, it really bothered her. All things considered, those two were just simply too blind to realize how perfect they were for one another and I needed to push it to happen. It was getting extremely frustrating seeing the tension that was building between them and when Bella admitted to being in love with him, I definitely would not let her pass up an amazing chance for love.

However, that plan ended up back firing and Edward turned out to be a complete guy; stupid and thinking with the wrong head! He was really surprising me with his current behavior. I may not have been close to him, but Bella has been our entire lives, not to mention Jasper being related to him and everything. His behavior was completely unrecognizable. I wanted to smack him in the back of the head. Clearly, our last conversation had not set the lightbulb off in that tiny head of his. I wasn't entirely sure what ended up happening last night between Edward and Bella; I thought maybe something would be developing between them, especially with how jealous Edward was when she brought Jacob with her here the other night. I rather enjoyed seeing the jealousy flare from him. It was all we could talk about once Bella and Jacob left and not too long after them, Edward left too. That sent us all off even more. We had never seen Edward act like that, not even to his girlfriends which told me even more that he loved her. He was just too blind to see it. Such a fool.

Something happened though. As though the missed call from Bella the other night wasn't enough to tell me that, Edward showing up banging on our door step gave me that clarification. I hadn't answered the door since I was still in bed, so I knew he showed up when conversation flared up between Edward and Jasper. I put on a robe and entered the living room where I saw Jasper sitting on the couch and Edward pacing angrily back and forth. I was confused.

"What's going on?" I asked, curious.

"I'm an idiot, that's what's going on." Edward answered angrily. Oh the drama, I thought.

"I could've told you that," I said, grinning at him. "Now tell me something I don't know Edward." He stopped for a second and glared at me. I simply pointed to my stomach and gave him my pouty, innocent look. It was pathetic to use raging hormones as my excuse but I couldn't bring myself to feel bad considering Edward probably messed up again. He simply sighed when I did this and went back to pacing.

"Bella left again." was all he said.

"I'm confused," Jasper chimed in and looked at me. "I thought you said she left last night to go to Jacob's because she was upset?"

"That's what I thought too," I said. Edward stopped pacing and turned to face us, his face turning red.

"She spent the night with Jacob!" he yelled.

"Oh relax Edward," I said. "Her spending the night with someone doesn't exactly match your version of spending the night with someone. They're friends."

"Yea, I'm sure they are." he spat.

"Are you calling me a liar?" I asked, moving closer to him. "Because next to you, I'm the one person who knows Bella completely. I know what she's feeling, what she's doing and I know when she's hurt. You, however, are pushing her away and you don't even see it!" Jasper had to get off the couch and hold me back. Without noticing, I had been moving closer and closer to Edward with my fists clenched tight, ready to throw punches. If he hadn't stopped me, who knows what I would have done.

"No Alice," he sighed. "I'm not. And even so, I'm not exactly in any position to be getting upset with Bella when I'm the idiot here." He moved his way over to the couch.

"Do you want to elaborate for us Edward?" Jasper asked. "We still don't fully understand."

"I told Bella I was inlove with her the other night and she left." He said and I had to interject.

"She...left?" I asked, confused. "That makes no sense."

"No, but I guess with everything going on, everything hit her all at once and she needed time to process it all," he explained. 'I wasn't about to force her to stay. I pleaded with her to take that time in the apartment. She didn't need to leave but she did. But before she left, she hugged and kissed my cheek which made it that much harder when she actually left. I thought she'd stay."

"You two should have your own soap opera!" I replied. "There's always something going on; definitely never a dull moment with you two." I took a seat, trying to process. I was now finding out what had fully happened the other night when I missed Bella's call. I was a little angry with myself for not answering. Now I was one of the last to know and I hated that.

"Alice, maybe you should go lay down," Jasper offered."I can try to help Edward while you rest. You shouldn't get worried about anything right now..."

"Jasper, I appreciate you looking out for me and the baby, but just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I can't deal with Edward and Bella's drama right now." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled and dropped it, knowing he would not win this conversation.

"So Edward, what happened after she left?" I asked.

"I don't know," he started. "I know what I should've done. I should've gone after her and brought her back home. I may not have known where she went, but I would've searched all night if that's what it took. But instead, I found myself alone in the apartment and miserable. I'd had a few drinks and hadn't moved from the couch until there was a knock on the door. I jumped for the door, thinking Bella was back. Sure, she had a key but I figured she was surprising me but no. It was Jessica at the door. I told her it was late and not a good time but she didn't leave. I went back to the couch and tried ignoring her banter but I wasn't fully functional with what was going on. I just remember her begging for me to take her back and her pushing herself on me. The next morning I woke up with her next to me in my bed and well, you know. I ended up giving in to temptation. I'm an idiot."

"EDWARD CULLEN YOU ARE AN..." I started to shout, fists ready to fly but Jasper cut me off.

"Alice, stress level," he reminded me. "You're not taking the time to rest but please try to keep calm." I didn't want to, even though I knew it was best. I just closed my eyes and started counting to ten to calm down.

"It gets worse," Edward added, hesitantly.

"Edward, man. Seriously?" Jasper asked in annoyance with him.

"You might as well say it while you have Jasper keeping me calm instead of attacking you!" I scoffed at him.

"Well, I went to take a shower but I heard someone talking in the bedroom so I finished up and got out so I could see what it was. I heard Bella and she, well...she was telling me, or who she thought was me, that she was ready to start a relationship and that she was sorry for running out and she was done running from her feelings...I stepped out of the bathroom and she realized everything that happened and.." he stopped.

"AND WHAT, EDWARD!" I said through gritted teeth.

"And when I followed her to explain, she was completely calm. It didn't phase her. It was like, she didn't care. She even asked what my girlfriend wanted for breakfast. But Jessica is not my girlfriend and Bella's behavior towards that...was not natural."

"Of course it's not natural you idiot!" I said. "Congratulations Edward, you've obviously broke my sister!" But before he could respond, the phone rang and I offered to answer it. Anything that would get me away from seeing Edward's face.

"Alice?" I heard Bella's voice through the phone. Great, the worst possible timing.

"Bella, hey." I replied, uninterested at the moment to what was going on. I was busy plotting my way of hurting Edward. No one hurts my baby sister!

"Alice, I'm two blocks away with Jacob. Is it alright if we stop by?" I hesitated. With Edward here and Bella planning on coming-and with Jacob of all people-I wasn't sure it was the best idea.

"Now isn't such a good time, do you think you could come later?" I asked her, hoping that even though she was so close, she wouldn't mind postponing her visit.

"I guess, but I thought you would want to know what the project is that I needed your help on..." she paushed but before I could get a word in, she continued. "I was even going to put you in charge of it completely, full reins and all."

"Aww, Bella," I complained. "Why would you do this?"

"I'm right outside your apartment, you just need to let us in," she said to me.

"Alright, I'll buzz you in! It better be good!" I went back into the living room to hit the button to buzz Bella in. I glared at Edward and addressed him directly.

"You are lucky as anything right now that Bella is coming here with Jacob! Her being her is the only thing keeping me from not hurting you beyond repair, do you understand me Edward Cullen?" He shook his head, but did not respond. I then turned to Jasper, my expression changing to that of love.

"I'm going to run in the bedroom and get cleaned up, make sure you keep Edward away from Bella while she's here. I won't be long," He nodded and I went to change. I needed some time to calm down a bit. I had let myself get so angry with Edward that I could feel the angry taking a toll on my body. Changing and getting cleaned up was the perfect chance to get back to a level head, if that were even possible at this point.

Breathe Alice, I told myself. You can always get him later.

** A/N: You guys have been amazing thus far with your reviews, so don't stop now! Tell me everything you think so far and another chapter will go up!**


	11. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 16-News

I was silently proud of myself for getting Alice to agree to let us come over the way that I did. I knew she wouldn't want to pass up this opportunity. Right after we had gotten off the phone, she buzzed us in and we made our way to the apartment. I couldn't wait to share the news with her. I was beaming! I even thought I would be feeling terrible about what had happened with Jacob but it was quite the opposite. It made me even more happy knowing we did it. This surprised me, but in a good way. I wasn't sure I'd ever feel this way towards another person but Edward, especially not this soon. Not when I had just made the decision that Edward would not change and I needed to move on from the idea that he could. I couldn't fix his way; the choices he made were all on him, no one else. I knocked on the door but before anyone answered, Jacob whispered something in my ear.

"Bella," he started. "Are we going to talk about what happened back there?" He seemed nervous. I looked up at him and smiled, hoping it would reassure him that I did not think of it as a mistake.

"Of course," I replied and quickly leaned up to kiss him again. Right then, the door began to open and we both corrected ourselves to be more presentable. Alice stood in the doorway,looking irritated, ticked off, annoyed and a little eager. Surely I didn't cause all of those emotions, did I?

"Come in," she offered us. "I must warn you, the apartment is a stress free zone now so if you need to unleash anything, meet me on the balcony...it's more free there." She added in a whisper. This confused me and I could tell Jacob was equally confused.

"Alice, I don't understand..." I said to her.

"Oh, you will.." she said through her teeth, the anger clearly showing through when she said this. We both stepped into the apartment and that's when I realized what Alice had meant. I heard Edward and Jasper talking in the other room but did not take too much interest to hear what it was about.

"He's here?" I said, attempting to keep my voice down.

"I'm just as happy about it as you are Bella," she answered. "I was ready to send him to meet his maker right before you called. That, and Jasper was all about 'keep calm, no stress, blah blah blah'" she went on, attempting to immitate Jasper's voice. Jacob and I couldn't help but laugh at this.

"I assume he told you what happened? I asked and she nodded her head. "Hopefully he wasn't dumb enough to lie about it."

"Oh, he didn't...I think I scared him enough already. He wouldn't go as far as to even try to lie to me."

"I guess you and I are on the same page with this," Jacob added to the conversatoin.

"If by being on the same page you mean I want to kill Edward, bring him back to clean the mess and then do it over again, then yes, we are on the same page." she crossed her arms.

"And you haven't yet, which is unlike you," I added. "What's the hold up?" I laughed.

"Jasper's such the pessimist," she said in annoyance and I laughed. I missed Alice.

"It's no worries and that goes to the both of you. Nothing needs to be done about it. He's a big boy who's made his choices. Now I'm making mine, plain and simple." I said to them both.

"You decided to be cool and nonchalant about this," she said. "I don't buy it."

"Neither do I, to be honest." Jacob said in agreement.

"That's fine, you guys don't have to. I'm just done with the drama and I'm moving on, which brings me to why I'm here."

"Yes, why don't we take this conversation out to the balcony. We'll still be uninterrupted and you'll be able to share." Alice offered. We agreed and followed her as she moved towards the balcony door. I slightly flashed back to the conversation Edward and I had on that balcony the other night but quickly snapped out of it. Seeing as how I was now moving on, reliving memories was not an option. I would do my best to keep it from happening.

"Hey Bella..." I heard Edward address me. His tone was longing, as though he hoped I would answer which I did. No reason not to.

"Hey Edward," I simply said.

"You're not ignoring me..." he said in relief.

"I didn't ignore you this morning, I don't plan on ignoring you now. No need to waste time worrying," I smiled and turned away.

"Bella, can we please talk alone?" I wasn't the one to respond to his request. It was Alice.

"She may not be doing the right thing by ignoring you, but as long as I am here, that's exactly what's going to happen," she scolded. "So to answer your question, no you may not take a moment to feed your nonsense to my sister!" He looked down, saddness and hurt consuming his face. For a moment I wanted to go over to him and comfort him but I couldn't. No more showing any feeling or giving him any idea that I cared the same way I did last night. I snapped out of it fairly quickly, more so when I heard Jacob laugh at what Alice said. Edward glared at Jacob.

"Sorry to laugh," Jacob started. "She's just so fierce and commanding for someone so small. No offense Alice." It was true though, he had Alice practically spot on.

"None taken," she beamed a big smile at Jacob, taking pride in her attitude towards Edward. This seemed to just make him more upset. "Jasper, we're going to talk on the balcony. Will you be ok in here with him?" She emphasized the word "him".

"Of course," he smiled at her. "Edward doesn't bite." She rolled her eyes and opened the balcony door for us. We each took a seat around the table they had off to the side and she crossed her arms.

"So," she started. "What's the project that couldn't wait until later?"

"Well," I smiled. "There's a place that needs an interior designer and I couldn't think of anyone more capable and more talented than my big sister..." I was right. Alice loved it as soon as I mentioned a place needing designing. She was beaming!

"Oh, what kind of place? When does it need to be completed? Who is it for? What type of style are they into? Can I start right away?" She was at the edge of her seat with all the excitement.

"The place is a loft, two floors, balcony, lots of open space, white walls, glass door leading to balcony and glass on either side of the stairs. Bedroom is huge...two walk in closets and a huge bathroom," I went on. The more I said the more she loved it. I could already tell she had ideas flying through her head.

"Who's it for? What style do they like? When can I meet them? TEll me Bella..."

"You don't need to meet them Alice," I told her and instantly she was confused. But before I would let her continue, I quickly started talking again. "It's for me. I leased a place two blocks down from here today and I'm trying to be moved in at the end of the week..." For a moment, excitement was fully showing through her face. And in the next, she was angry.

"You bought a new place!" she fumed.

"Yes I did Alice," I told her. "Why, is that such a bad thing?"

"That moron has completely broken you and you dont' even see it!"

"What do you mean, broke me?" I asked, I looked at Jacob who was getting a little uncomfortable with where this conversation was leading.

"Oh please Bella, don't play dumb with me!" she scolded. "I know exactly how you handled what you walked in on this morning and even for you that's completely unnatural behavior. And to top it off, you go and make a crazy decision to buy a new place without so much as thinking it through? This is completely wrong." she sat there shaking her head in disapproval.

"Alice, I'm not doing this because of what happened.." I said but stopped because she glared at me. Jacob had also coughed as I said this so they both knew and I couldn't deny it anymore. "Ok, so maybe it is. I can't be around him with all the stuff that's been going on. I could before but now that all feelings were put on the table and the opposite of what was expressed was done, I can't do it. That place no longer gives me a happy, home feel where I can enjoy our memories Alice. You're not there anymore. He is and he's made me upset every time. All happiness is gone. But this new place, Alice you should see it. It's incredible and exactly what I need for a fresh start." I explained to her. She sat there shaking her head.

"This is wrong. Running away is not the answer!" she said. "No matter how right it may seem to you. You're just clouded by your breakdown that you don't see it." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"My breakdown?" I asked. "Alice, I'm perfectly fine and completely sane, thank you."

"No, clearly you are not because you are not thinking clearly. You've completely lost it."

"Alice, regardless of what you are telling me right now, I am moving into this new place," I said. "My question to you is whether or not you want to help me pick things out and design the place. If not, that's fine but I need to know."

"I can't give you my answer right now, Bella." she responded. I didn't understand why though. "I don't agree with your sudden decision to relocate so aiding with something I don't believe in would go against what I feel is right. So I'm sorry, right now I can't answer you."

"I respect that, thanks for considering it for me Alice" was all I said and I went back into the apartment leaving Alice and Jacob alone on the balcony.

"Conversation over that quickly?" Jasper asked in a surprising tone. I took the seat next to him.

"Well, there wasn't much to talk about after my sister questioned my sanity," I told him.

"What are you supposedly doing wrong this time?" he laughed.

"I'm making sudden and nonsensical decisions to relocate."

"Relocate?" It was Edward who had chimed in this time. It annoyed me but I couldn't completely ignore him considering he had been here first.

"Yea, I'm leasing a place not too far from here and she says I'm doing this because I've had some sort of breakdown." I answered, looking at Jasper rather than Edward.

"You're moving out?" He asked, hurt and anger clear in his voice.

"Yea, that's what it seems is happening..." I answered.

"And when were you planning on telling me this?" He asked, more anger flaring than hurt at this point.

"Well considering I just did it, I was going to tell you when I saw you and how about that," I said. "Here you are so I am telling you now."

"Bella," He started. "We really need to talk alone. Now please." He stood up and turned to head into the room Jasper used as an office. "Jasper, can I borrow your office for a bit?

"As long as you two don't break anything, it's all yours." He grinned at us.

I followed Edward into the office. He closed the door and took a few minutes before he turned to face me. His face was a mixture of emotions. I saw anger, irritation, sadness, hurt, love. It was all there, blended together on his face. I tried not to act like it bothered me that he was doing this. If I wanted to be friends with him, I had to be comfortable being alone with him and for some reason, I wasn't. Which told me leaving was the right thing to do. We needed time apart if our friendship was going to survive this.

"Bella, first I want to apologize for what you walked in on this morning. I wish you never had to see that and that it never happened. It did, I regret it and what I regret most is that it hurt you. I'm truely sorry," he started.

"Thank you, you didn't need to apologize though."

"It was definitely necessary Bella, we both know that," I was grateful that he was apologizing. I knew why he was. A part of me didn't want to her it though, I didn't need to. He owed me no explanations. This was something that would always happen with Edward, I could see that and instead of trying to change it and wait around for the change to happen, I was doing the right thing. I was letting him go.

"Edward, I don't have the energy to argue with you anymore, especially about this." I said as I looked down, refusing to look him in the eyes. He always had a way of swaying me to doing the opposite of what I had intended and I could not let that happen.

"Bella, who said anything about arguing? We just really need to talk, you know? It's something we have always done and been able to do. I know it's my own fault for messing up that part of our friendship but I also am ready to do whatever it takes to make things right, with you as my friend and then, hopefully with you as my girlfriend. I know we can't jump straight into that type of relationship," he paused. I heard him take a few steps closer to where I stood, eyes locked to the floor. Every word he said was perfect. I even found myself slowly drifting back to before all this craziness happened and wanted to jump into his arms and tell him I was his. But I couldn't.

"You're right," I said. I glanced up at him for a brief moment and detected the sadness in his eyes. Once again I looked away. "There is no way we can have a relationship when our friendship seems to be barely hanging on with everything that's been going on. And there is no way we can have a relationship when I can't trust that you are able to be committed to me and only me. I can't trust that I can turn my back for five minutes without some blonde popping out of no where. You just aren't ready Edward." It pained me to say this to him. Despite everything that has happened and how much its hurt me, I still cared for him. After all, he was my best friend. But no matter how much I wanted to keep him away from any pain, he needed to know where I stood with my feelings.

"Bella, I made a mistake. That doesn't mean I'm not ready to be with you in the way that you want me. In the way that I want us to be. This isn't something I've conjured up in my mind simply to make you happy and have what you've always wanted. I know you think that," he started to explain but I had to interject.

"You can't possibly know what I think Edward," I said to him as I looked up to stare him in his eyes. I caved, I knew this but what was I going to accomplish by staring at the ground? Nothing.

"Bella, I still know you better than most people. I haven't been a great friend lately but people make mistakes. But they also learn from them and when they love someone the way that I love you, they will stop at nothing to make sure they never hurt the one they love again. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again..." he stared at me with his eyes longing, pleading for me to accept what he said as true.

"I believe you Edward..." I said in hesitation. I did believe him, but I couldn't fall for this only to set myself up for disappointment.

"But?"

"But, I need time to see that you've changed, please understand that. Our friendship depends on this and the only way I know how to ensure we salvage what is left, is by moving into my new apartment." It seemed he had forgotten about my sudden decision to move because when I mentioned it, I saw anger take over his features.

"You have got to be kidding me Bella!" he fumed. "How could you have even entertained the idea of searching for a new place, let alone agree to buy it!" I tried my best to keep calm.

"Edward, I don't think you want to enter in a conversation with me about this." I said sternly.

"I don't care right now! Did you ever think of how your decision would effect me?" he went on. Once again, making everything about him.

"Edward, last chance. Please calm down and change the subject." I warned.

"I bet you didn't think...why would you? Once again, you're running away from your problems. How could you do this!" And there it went. All the control I had built up to avoid this argument with Edward, an argument he assured me we would not have, had faded. He brought this upon himself and I feared that by completely unleashing on him, our friendship would not survive it.

"How could I do this?" I emphasized the world 'I". "How could YOU not stop to think that for one moment that everything that has been happening is all in consequence of your carelessness? That thought never once crossed your mind, did it Edward? No it didn't! Because in all this time you've been feeding me lines about how much you love and care about me and how much you want us to be together when if you really look at it, your actions say the opposite. You don't think about anybody but yourself Edward. That's why you are always changing who you date; your mind is always changing about what you want. You even convinced yourself you wanted me and as soon as an opportunity presented itself that would make you feel good, you jumped on it, or should I say her? So you ask me how could I have entertained the idea of getting a new place and actually buying it? Try looking in the mirror. What you see staring back at you will be your answer!" I had unleashed so much anger that had been building inside me through this whole experience that I didn't realize how much I had allowed myself to say. All of it true, yes. But so unexpected for it all to have come out the way it did. I felt so much better and more confident.

I stood there glarding at Edward who had become speechless. I watched as he moved over the nearest chair and sat down, placing his head in his hands.

"I've really made a mess of things," I heard him mumble. "Bella, I truly never meant to do anything that would hurt you. I know you can't forgive me, for any of it or my selfishness but I will change." He stared at me as he said this. I couldn't stare back at him long. I took in a deep breath and let it out before I answered.

"I don't think that you can Edward," I whispered. "I don't even know who you are anymore."

"I'm still me Bella," I tried reassuring me, but it would not work.

"Somewhere in there, yes but the person I see sitting before me is not my best friend. You've changed, which is what I've feared the most." I said in defeat. I had been fighting with myself this whole time about Edward and what his actions were telling me. He really had changed. He changed into someone I could not recognize. Into someone that could not be trusted and into someone I did not wish to know. This probably was hurting me more than what I had walked in on this morning. I took another deep breath and headed for the door.

"What's going to happen now?" He asked as I walked passed him. I stopped with my hand on the door knob and turned to him.

"I'll be out at the end of the week but as to what happens with us, that's really up to you Edward. It's not up to me anymore. Good bye." I said this and I walked out the door. I had just ended a friendship with someone that meant the world to me. I knew it was for the best but as soon as I had said goodbye and walked out the door, I felt my heart shatter. It was broken. I never wanted this. I knew it was necessary but I never thought things would lead to this. I didn't know how I would recover from it, I knew I had to but how? I stood there, holding back tears and stared out the window to where Alice and Jacob had still been seated on the balcony; Jasper had joined them. I thought of Alice and her wedding and of course, her pregnancy. Time was going by so quickly and so much needed to be done. It was then I realized the best way to keep my mind off of Edward. I would completely drown myself into my school work and Alice's wedding. Afterall, I did have a party to plan and I would do it without the best man, without my best friend, without the love of my love, without Edward.

** A/N: So, anyone thinking her decision was a bit impulsive? Do you guys think she'll be able to keep Edward at arms length? Let me know what you all think of the chapter, the story and what you may think will happen...you guys are in for a surprise lol**


	12. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 17-Alone

EPOV

2 weeks. 2 weeks 6 hours and 45 minutes since the last time Bella stepped foot into this apartment; since she and that Jacob came in when I was not here to pack her things and go. She actually did it. She left our home and I hadn't heard from her since. 2 weeks 6 hours and now 47 minutes, also the time that I'd sat outside of Bella's old room, staring at the door as if expecting something to change. I laughed at myself for the stupid thought. Of course she would not come back here. Why would she want to? After what I put her through, this is exactly how I envisioned things playing out. I hoped, like the idiot that I've been, that I would be wrong and she would change her mind and forgive me. Or at least stay. If she stayed...we could work things out. But with this time that had gone by without so much as a phone call, I knew fixing things with Bella was a lost cause.

Since Bella left, I hadn't stepped foot outside of the apartment, except the first week to attend classes hoping I would maybe see her around campus. When I didn't see her at her usual spots, I tried the quad where the group would get together for lunch but no Bella. She had completely changed her route to go to classes to avoid me. I was sure of it. I saw no point in going anywhere after realizing that...I feared she might return at a time I wasn't here to pick something up if she left it, but in the week that I'd sat here she never came. I had gotten myself worked up each time I would see someone who held resemblance to Bella but my eyes were playing tricks on me;I was seeing her everywhere I went and it was beginning to become unbearable.

I couldn't believe how severely I messed things up with Bella. I hated myself for it. For our entire lives growing up, she's always been there for me. It just took me too long to realize just how much she meant to me. I did love her. I do love her. And because of my carelessness, I'd lost her. She didn't recognize me anymore, she had said to me during our falling out. She was right. This was not the person I had always been. I never kept secrets from her. I would never have a new girl over at different times. And I definitely never have confessed love for a girl only to sleep with another in the same night. I was a monster.

This entire week I kept all phone lines free and unused. Any phone call that was not Bella's, I ignored. Any messages that were not from her, were deleted. I spent so much time trying to get ahold of her, that eventually I knew I would not be successful. I resorted to contacting Alice and Jasper from time to time and they would tell me nothing. All I would get was that she was doing well and was adjusting to the change. This alone allowed my mind to weave its own vision as to why she needed to adjust. I had conjured up this image that she, like me, was suffering without the other in their life and was internally struggling with herself on whether or not she should contact me. I sent her messages reassuring her that whenever she was ready, I'd be there. However, every message, every phone call went unanswered. I couldn't take this silent treatment. I needed her. In everything that I had caused to happen, I had been woken up to how much I needed Bella in my life. There was no reason to exist without her. She was everything to me and one way or another, I would get her back. Lost cause or no, I would do anything withing my power to win Bella back.

With determination, I stood up from my chair and went into my room to clean myself up. Once I was done, I took my phone out-seeing no missed calls, just text messages from Jessica that I chose to ignore-and called Jasper.

"Hello?" I heard him through the phone.

"Jasper..." I started.

"Edward, she isn't here and I don't have any updates for you today, sorry..." he said. I guess he had gotten used to the constant calls I had placed in attempt to get ahold of Bella and keep tabs on her.

"That's unfortunate but also not why I called, not exactly," I told him.

"Oh...I'm sorry Edward," he began. "I just assumed with how the passed two weeks have been, that was why you were calling. What's up?"

"I was hoping you could get Emmett and come over to the apartment, now if possible."

"Is everything alright? You sound different today compared to all the others?" He asked with concern.

"I'm not sure, but I hope it will be...will I see you soon?" I asked.

"Of course, I'll be right over and I'll give Emmett a call to make sure he's able to as well." With that, the call ended and I sat once again on the couch, this time facing the door. I was eager for Emmett and Jasper to get here and even more eager to see if they would help me get Bella back into my life. I was ready for anything she threw at me and also knew that jumping into a relationship was something she would not do, not when she couldn't trust me. But I would get her back into my life. Some how, some way...I would get Bella back.

BPOV

I laid in bed early Friday morning, refusing to get up. For the first time in the two weeks that I had moved out, I had a decent nights sleep. If the sun hadn't been shining through my window right now, I probably would still be asleep. It was Friday, the end of the week and I had no where to be. Classes for me were done, exams over with. I could finally just relax. I glanced over at my clock which read 8:00am. I was frustrated. It was too early to start my day when I finally had a day off...so instead of getting up, I laid there staring up at my white and golden ceiling fan.

A lot had happened over the past two weeks. For starters, I was now living in my new apartment, which Alice took enjoyment in decorating for me. She went from shooting daggers at me for making this decision, to throwing countless hugs and kisses in my direction for finally making a good and smart decision in my life in buying this place. She absolutely loved it and decorated it as though it was her own. She tried to take into consideration any ideas I had for this place but in the end, went with her own saying she knew better when it came to interior design. Instead of arguing with Alice, who now was extremely hormonal, I offered my help in whatever she needed for me to do. When I offered this, she did two things. The first was give me a big hug-I assumed for trying to help. And the second was hand me a 6 inch binder that was filled to its maximum capacity of her exact and specific plans for her wedding and exactly what she wanted for each party being thrown in her and Jasper's honor. That was my new job for the next 4 months...Alice's wedding while she and Jasper focused on arranging plans for honeymoon.

Another major thing that's been going on was that I was not speaking with Edward. It was more my way of trying to get over everything that has happened so that once I get my feelings in check, we could try to be friends again. Jacob helped me move out of the apartment; I made sure it happened when Edward was not there. I knew if I saw him there, I'd instantly try to talk myself out of moving. He seemed to be having this effect on me. No matter how much I wanted to hate him, simply looking into his gorgeous eyes completely crumbled my resolve. That's what made the move difficult. I remembered how much I struggled with it and even worse, I remembered Jacob notice my struggle...

I sat on the floor surrounded by piles of clothes, not realizing originally just how many boxes I would need for it all. Most of it came from Alice, who continuously claimed I lacked a sense of style and of course, no one would ever dare argue with her when it came to this. Jacob took it upon himself to take my furniture apart, refusing to let me help. Since I had already tripped over the boxes and all my books that needed to be packed, he thought it too risky to let me mess with heavy furniture.

"I still can't get over how much clothes you have Bella," He said to me as he laughed to himself.

"Hey, this is mostly Alice, not me," I responding, laughing with him.

"How many boxes do you think it'll all fill?" I looked up at him to answer. I noticed the grin he had been trying to hide from me.

"I'm afraid to even take a guess at that Jacob," I answered and went straight back to folding the enormous pile of clothes. We had already been here for two hours trying to get everything together. I was afraid to think how much longer we would be stuck here, which ultimately made me pick up the pace. Unfortunately, Jacob noticed.

"What's the rush Bella?" he asked.

"I just want to get this all wrapped up and moved over to the new place, that's all." I answered without looking up. It was true. I was anxious to officially move my things into my new apartment but I also realized as the hours quickly passed by, we were that much closer to Edward getting home. The thought of seeing Edward caused an unknown pain in my chest, a pain I honestly had never really felt before. I took this as an indication that leaving him was hurting not only him, but me as well. I hadn't expected to become overcome with such emotions when I was about to get a fresh start. I didn't want it anymore. But it was too late. All papers were signed, all necessary payments were taken care of and my name was being taken off this apartment's contract as I sat here. My only choice was to move out now. I felt stupid for realizing this now and just wanted to get out of here.

When I finally was able to get my clothes packed up, I moved over to the pile of all my books and albums. I found one last box to put them in and quickly began to stack them one by one. I came across a picture frame, which I knew I needed to wrap in paper to make sure it didn't get damaged during the move. I got up to get the paper and began to wrap it. Just as I was about to cover the top of the frame, I caught a glimpse of what the picture was. It was of Edward and me at my birthday a few years back; The group had decided to throw me a surprise party, courtesy of Alice. We looked so happy in this picture. Edward had his arm around my shoulder and both my hands were attempting to cover up my face which had been completely covered in the cake they all stuffed in my face. Despite how much it had angered me, I could not help but laugh. Edward and I were laughing together and this was the picture which allowed me to go back to that memory.

Seeing that picture, reliving that memory...that did it for me. I couldn't supress my tears; they were in complete control over me. How could I get over Edward, even with all that's happened with all the good memories we've had together? It was going to be impossible.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I heard Jacob ask, concern filling his voice.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said, wiping away my tears and placing the picture frame into the box.

"You're crying, that means you're not fine," he said, walking over to me. "What is it?"

"Honestly it's nothing ," I kept my eyes locked to the floor, hoping these tears would finally disappear and Jacob would believe me. I knew Jacob wasn't convinced and just like I'd feared, he noticed me place the picture frame into the box. He reached in to look at in and realization filled his face.

"Oh," he said as he took a seat next to me on the floor. "I see."

"Just like I said, it's nothing." I took the frame from his hands, which he handed over without hesitation and placed it back into the box.

"Bella...if it were nothing, seeing that picture would not have caused this type of reaction in you, you know that."

"I just don't understand it," I said, giving in. "I don't understand why he did the things he did and I don't understand why I can't stay mad at him."

"I think we both know the answer to that question," he said staring me in the eyes. He was right.

"I don't want to be in love with him Jacob, I don't want to feel this way anymore and no matter what I do, it's like there's no escaping it." He smiled slightly but in the same moment it disappeared.

"I guess you really can't help who you love Bella," he said to me, saddness filled through his voice.

"Oh Jacob, I'm.."I started to say. Of course I had not forgotten about our kiss and the conversation that was supposed to follow. He had to know I didn't forget.

"I know Bella, but I think we also know that you can't move on until you get this completely settled. And by the looks of it, you're going to need time and I'm going to be here for you." He half smiled and got up to continue taking apart furniture. Jacob was too good of a friend to me. Meanwhile, here I was dragging him along some rollercoaster. He didn't deserve this. He shouldn't be wasting his time with someone who can't get her emotions together long enough to decide what it is she really wants. I knew I was not torn between the two. I knew who I wanted. But could I honestly trust Edward again?

Jacob had been a big help to me that day we packed up my room, it just pained me that I did that to him. All he needed to do was see the reaction that picture had on me and he knew a relationship between us was not in the near future. I wished he never had to see that. But realizing just how deeply my feelings went for Edward, that even considering just for a moment that despite it all, something could happen made living here unbearable at times.

Every night since I moved in was spent crying myself to sleep, knowing that another day would go by and I still needed that space from Edward. Ignoring his phone calls and text messages was the hardest thing I had done next to saying good bye to him and ending our friendship. I still didn't know why I had done it. I regretted it instantly but could not take it back. I didn't know what to say to him and because of that, I couldn't risk running into him on campus. I ended up changing the way I went to class and avoided the quad in case he would eat lunch there with the group. I was acting like some ex girlfriend who needed space from her ex boyfriend only we never had the chance to even be that. Everything was a complete mess and I had no way of figuring out where to begin to fix it all.

Hoping to get my mind off Edward, knowing I would fail instantly considering how the last two weeks had been, I got out of bed and went to clean myself up. The early morning had won; I was no longer going to even attempt to stay in bed. After showering, getting dressed and eating a light breakfast, I went over to find that 6 inch binder I was now meant to guard with my life. If anything happened to it, Alice would literally have my head. I flipped to page 67, which began the section on the rehearsal dinner. Highlighted on the top of the page with a post it was a message written to me which read :

-THIS DINNER BETTER BE PERFECT AND THE BEST WAY FOR THAT IS FOR YOU TO GET EDWARD TO HELP YOU...HE IS THE BEST MAN AND BOTH JASPER AND I WISH FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO PUT THIS TOGETHER FOR US...THERE IS A LIST OF DO'S AND DON'TS, SO PLEASE FOLLOW THIS ALL AS IT IS LAID OUT-

Alice was even demanding by post it. But the message also made me realize I was no longer able to continue ignoring Edward. Alice and Jasper wanted us to arrange this party-together. I had to obey their wishes. I felt defeat wash over me as I reached for my cell phone to text Edward. I hoped he wasn't too mad at me for ignoring him these passed two weeks...

``Edward, it's Bella...are you there?-B

Not a minute went by before I received a response.

``Of course, Bella...I've been trying to get ahold of you. I'm so glad you're finally getting back to me-E

It seemed like he wasn't angry, which made me feel a little better than I had. I did however have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach as I tried to talk to him. I was nervous and uneasy and afraid, all at the same time.

``I'm sorry about that...I just needed some time. I hope you're not too mad at me?-B

-Me mad at you? Bella, The thought never crossed my mind! I know this is all my fault and I want to make it up to you...-E

I wasn't sure if I was ready for that but I knew we had to start somewhere.

``I actually needed to talk to you about some things in person, would you want to come over to my apartment or should I come to you?-B

``Could you come to my place...if that's not too much trouble?-E

``Not at all, I'll see you soon.-B

I wasn't sure if I was ready to face Edward again. I sat at my desk for a few more moments thinking over how things would be once I got there. I was sure I would be scared the moment I'd set foot into the apartment. All memories that pushed me away, the same memories that I feared happening all over again would surely rush back as soon as I laid eyes on Edward. What would I do if that happened? How would I handle it? I had no answers and because of this I felt lost. I wasn't used to feeling this way. It made no sense to me but I knew I would have to face it head on. No matter the outcome, I would make myself go to see Edward, talk to him about planning Alice's wedding and leave. That was my plan. That is what I needed to stick to; I just hoped seeing Edward would not break my determination...

** A/N: So, anyone thinking her decision was a bit impulsive? Do you guys think she'll be able to keep Edward at arms length? Let me know what you all think of the chapter, the story and what you may think will happen...you guys are in for a surprise lol**


	13. Chapter 18 Part 1 & 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 18-Temptation

Part One

I must have stood outside Edward's door for about ten minutes before I realized I probably should find the nerve to knock. So many thoughts had entered my mind and grew worse as I got closer to the apartment. What if he hated me? What if he moved on? What if I come in and some random girl was in his bed..again? What would I do if there was a girl? Would I act casual and pretend it doesn't hurt me? Would I run out of there, bawling my eyes out like I had for the past two weeks in my new apartment...my new apartment that had been missing the only thing I needed, Edward. When would these feelings fade away? Why did Edward have such a strong hold over me? What was wrong with me?

These thoughts were never ending. It frustrated me that I had no answers to my own questions; I've never had this before. I could always figure things out, even when they affected me directly. But now, I had nothing and was helpless. One thing was clear, however, and it was that I had to knock on his door. Any longer and he'd probably notice me out here himself and would probably think I'm some incompetent idiot, I didn't want this. I took a deep breath and finally knocked on the door. I thought maybe I'd be waiting for some time but I was wrong. Not a full two seconds were able to go by and there he was, looking as amazing as ever in the doorway. I had to fight the urge to run into his arms and beg him to forgive me once I saw the faint smile on his face as he greeted me. He looked as though he hadn't slept in days; there were dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were slightly red. He was completely restless and despite this appearance, he was still breathtaking.

"Bella," he said as he smiled and sighed in what seemed like relief. Did he think I would not come? I guess I couldn't blame him if he did... "Please, come in." He offered and stepped aside so that I could walk passed him. I walked into the apartment as I thanked him and made my way over to the dining room table. I turned to face him and noticed the recliner that had originally been positioned toward the television had been moved. It was now turned and facing my door...That's strange, I thought.

"I really appreciate you taking time to meet with me on such short notice," I began, forcing myself to calm down. Simply being in the same room as Edward had made my heart begin to race. I hadn't realized just how much I missed him.

"It's really no problem Bella..." He answered as he took a few steps closer to where I had been standing though he still maintained a good distance. He looked nervous almost, as though unsure of whether or not to continue his approach so that we were closer. Again, I only had myself to blame for this. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Yea, that'd be nice," I said as I turned to pull the chair out at the table. He came around the other side and sat across from me. "So.." I started but Edward stopped me before I could continue.

"Wait...Bella I don't mean to interrupt but I needed to say this while I can," He looked at me hesitantly waiting for my reaction. I had no problem with his interjection...I didn't know how long I would be here discussing the wedding plans with him so I figured anything that needed to be said should be said now, rather than later. I nodded for him to continue. "I know nothing I say at this point will make any of what has happened between us right again...I know my chances of having our friendship back to where it was may be almost impossible as well. But I also know that in all that has happened, I HAVE learned from it and it has made me realize just how much I am in love with you. My actions say otherwise, I know this. But I've spent the passed two weeks doing nothing but trying to get ahold of you and hoping that you would come back to me. I've missed you and I am incomplete without you, I want to be with you forever Bella...It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow or a week from now but somehow and some way, I will have your love again..." he stopped, took a breath and for a moment looked away as though questioning whether or not he should have said what he did. Truth was that I was happy at what he said, but I was afraid to show my weakness. It happened every time; I would be determined to feel one way and because of how much I loved him, my resolve would crumble before me. I couldn't do this now, it was too soon but he did need to know how I felt about him even now. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes before I answered. His eyes were longing and I could see how genuine his feelings were.

"You never lost it,Edward..." I said, so softly it was almost a whisper. "No matter how hard I try to get over you, I just can't seem to do it. I hoped moving out would be the best thing for me but I couldn't have been more wrong. I've spent every day ever since I moved in missing you and wanting you there with me. Not talking to you was the most difficult thing I've ever done next to telling you goodbye. I hate feeling this way..." I blurted out. Of course, once I had said it a sense of relief washed over me along with a sense of vulnerability. I had put myself out there once again, only to allow myself to get hurt.

"Bella..."he started, but I could not look up at him and before he could continue, he had to know where I stood on the matter of our relationship.

"Wait, Edward..." I interjected. "Despite all this...it's too soon to begin rebuilding what has been lost. I want to, more than you can ever possibly imagine but I need to be sure I can trust you." I forced myself to look at him to see the damage I was causing. The hurt that I saw there sent a shooting pain in my chest; it hurt me to know I was causing Edward pain.

"I understand," he said as he looked down at the table, hurt filled his voice.

"Edward, I'm so sorry.." I said and I meant it.

"Don't be...I completely understand where you're coming from and I respect it. It's just good to know that not all hope is lost," he said with a faint smile on his face. I could tell he was trying to reassure me that he was alright but he wouldn't fool me. We both knew each other, especially how we were at our time of need and rigt now he his acting skills were turning against him.

"It's not...I can tell you that much at least," I told him and smiled for a moment before looking back down to the table.

"Bella..why do you always look away from me?" he asked. Of course he noticed.

"It hurts me to know I'm hurting you. I guess I can't help it." I looked up when I heard him laughing slightly in disbelief. "What is it?" I asked.

"After all that I've done and put you through...you are the one who is concerned about me being in pain. You're too good to me Bella; any other girl would be ripping my head apart for what I had done," he admitted.

"Well I'm not like any other girl," I said matter of factly.

Before Edward could respond, a knock came from the door. Out of old habit I almost got up to answer it myself but Edward beat me to it. He smirked at me when he realized what I had planned to; I, too, found it amuzing that despite my new address, this place was once again beginning to feel like home.

"I'll be right back," he said as he made his way to the door. With it not being too far from the dining room area-where I sat-hearing a developed conversation at the door would not have been impossible, had it not been for the sudden whispering which suddenly started as soon as Edward opened the door. Who could it have been to cause such a reaction?

Chapter 18-Temptations

Part Two

EPOV

Of all the people I would have expected to show up at my door, I definitely did not plan on Jessica showing up completely uninvited. I had cut off all communication with her the day she showed up at the apartment and Bella walked in on our aftermath. That decision from that night, while made when I wasn't quite myself, was one that caused everything to become what it is now with Bella. I felt completely and utterly horrible for how much damage I had done to our friendship and the relationship I wanted so badly with her. I wanted to be with her forever, to marry her, have children with her, to grow old with her...and I couldn't say this because of where we stood. I felt completely lost and empty until she walked through my door as beautiful as ever. The moment I saw her, I knew I could not let another moment go by without telling her how I felt. I knew it was risky and I could've been ruining whatever chance I was getting at seein Bella; but I had to. Knowing how she felt about me...when she said she still loved me and wanted to be with me...it took almost all of my strength not to take her into my arms and kiss her. I had to contain myself though. This wasn't as hard to do when she told me despite her feelings of love, she still did not trust me and therefore could not be with me. Not now, at least. This tore me apart.

But despite all the pain and suffering going on with both of us, something had once again been reignited between me and Bella. I could tell she felt it when I noticed a sense of comfort overcome her. For me, it was a sense of hope. In this moment, as I stared into Jessica's beaming eyes, I felt that sense of hope hanging by a thread. I feared losing whatever chance I still had with Bella because of Jessica's unexpected appearance. I didn't want Bella to think I was still involved with this banshee. As a result of this fear, I opted in keeping my voice in a whisper knowing that anything but that would alert Bella of this unexpected visitor.

"What are you doing here!" I whispered angrily at her. The once happy and excited expression turned into a frown...a playful one. She thought I was teasing her?

"Aww..is that any way to greet your girlfriend?" she said playfully and a little louder than I hoped she would. If Bella hadn't heard by now it would be a miracle.

"You are not my girlfriend Jessica. You need to leave, now."

"Now, now, what's the rush?" she responded as she attempted to make her way into the apartment. She wrapped her arms around my neck. Instantly, I moved my hands up to remove them but she would not budge.

As I thought this moment couldn't get any worse, it did. I heard Bella clearing her throat behind me as she walked over to see what was going on. I slowly turned, still attempting to get Jessica's hands untangled from behind my neck and saw Bella standing there with her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised as though questioning what was going on. Please, I thought to myself, Please don't leave me again...

BPOV

The sudden whispering Edward had started was making me anxious and curous at the same time. This was an unusual reaction on his part, which caused my curiosity to grow. Who could it be? Why is he trying to hide it? And that was when I heard her speak.

"Aww..is that any way to greet your girlfriend?" I heard this person speak playfully. I guessed two things when I heard this. One being that Edward had a girlfriend this whole time but was lying about it, trying to convince me it was me he wanted. And two, which made my first theory not make any sense what so ever was that by her response, she had not been greeted by Edward in the kindest manner. So if this girl was supposedly his girlfriend, what was with Edward's harsh greeting. None of it made sense and unlike previous actions of mine, I would not run from this. If he had a girlfriend, then he had a girlfriend and I would stick to my confirmation of us trying to rebuild a friendship, nothin more. If however, this girl was not his girlfriend then she had no business being here.

I stood up and made my way over to where the front door was. I stopped when I saw this girl...the same girl from the cafe and from what it looked like, from his bedroom that day, with her arms around his neck attempting to get closer and closer to Edward. His response to this was not one of liking, however. From what it looked like, he was struggling to get her off of him, which seemed to make me feel more at ease. He wouldn't be reacting this way if she was his girlfriend and if he even wanted her here. His attempt to get her off of him told me he was truly trying to change who he had been; he was steadily making his way back into being nothing but honest with me. I felt like I could trust him and this made me happy. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow as I cleared my throat so they both had my attention. I knew Edward was aware of my presence when he froze at the sound of my throat clearing as though afraid of what I would think of the situation. He turned slowly, still trying to get this girl off of him and looked at me, fear in his eyes.

"Bella.." he started, trying to find the words to explain it. I knew he didn't need to; everything spoke for itself but I felt it amusing to see him try. "Believe me when I say, this is NOT what it looks like..." he insisted and I could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth. "I've just been trying to get her off and make her leave..." he was extremely persistent.

"Why are you explaining yourself to HER!" the girl shouted angrily and finally letting go of Edward. He stepped back so that he was standing beside me. I uncrossed my arms and took his hand in order to reassure him I knew he was tellin the truth. I smiled at him as he stared into my eyes. I could tell he knew I believed him as a smile formed on his face and his eyes changed from fear to reassurance and joy. It felt like it was just the two of us in the room. If this girl hadn't spoken up again, I would've completely forgotten she was here.

"YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH...WITH...WITH HER!" she fumed. Her shouting broke my eye contact with Edward since he had turned to look her in the eyes while mine remained on him.

"First of all Jessica, no I have not been cheating on you. In order for you to cheat on someone, it requires for you to be in a relationship with them to begin with. And you and I ended ours weeks ago. Secondly, I've asked you this already and I do not to have to continue repeating myself, so I will tell you one last time. You need to leave," he said sternly. Of course, she did not listen. She continued on with her whining.

"But..how could you say we were not together...what about that night two weeks ago Edward," she complained.

"Jessica, I'm sorry but that night was a mistake and I was not myself. Had I been, it would never have happened. I apologize if I have led you on, but there is nothing between us. My heart belongs to someone else." he responded, not giving in to her puppy dog eyes. This Jessica was pathetic. I watched as her face changed from sad and hurt to pure anger. If she could shoot daggers from her eyes, she would've successfully hit both me and Edward. She looked a bit crazed as she stood fuming with anger.

"You will regret this Edward Cullen. Mark my words!" she warned and stormed out of the apartment. We weren't exactly sure how to react towards her threat. From the look she had given us, or I should say, the glare she had given me was enough for me to be shaken. For a few minutes, we stood where we were until I noticed the door had still been opened. I quickly walked over to it and closed it, locking it behind me. I didn't want to take any chance of that Jessica coming back. I turned to look at Edward whose face was a mixture of emotions; he looked relieved that Jessica was gone, relieved because I had believed him and didn't leave, he looked concerned in reference to Jessica's threat...I couldn't blame him.

"You sure do know how to pick them," I said, teasing him. He smiled for a moment before he answered me.

"If you're implying I pick the crazy ones...then what does that make you?" he said grinning at me, clearly teasing me.

"Oh, I'm definitely not crazy," I said as I walked over to him.

"Really, then what are you?" he teased back.

"I'm just sensitive," I said smiling at him but he did not answer. He just stood staring at me which made me nervous. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you stayed and didn't leave me when you saw her arms around me..." he responded.

"I'm glad I stayed too..." I said smiling as I reached for his hand. "Now let's get started on what I came to talk to you about." He raised his eyebrow at me, questioning.

"I thought we got everything out of the way that was needed..." he said, confused.

"Laying everything out on the table was a positive bonus but I came discuss Alice's wedding with you..." I explained. "See this?" I asked as I took out Alice's 6 inch wedding binder. "This has everything Alice is planning for the wedding...for every single part of it and a specific section calls for both of us to plan."

"Both of us?" he asked.

"Yes," I grinned at him. "Apparently Alice is even more demanding by post it." He seemed confused so I turned to the page which contained the post it Alice left for me and let him read it. He laughed once he was done, finally understanding what I meant.

"Ok, it looks like we have a party to plan..." he paused. "I hope you're ready for seeing a lot more of me" he teased but I smiled.

"I wouldn't have it any other way..." I responded and flipped to the page which contained the list of Do's and Don't's. This was going to take forever.

We must have spent four hours working on making sure we were 100% sure of what was expected from the parties. We had worked through lunch and resorted to ordering Chinese so we wouldn't completely starve.

"So you think she'll be happy with the parties?" he asked.

"As long as we follow her list exactly, she will be," I responded and we both laughed. With all the events of the day and this bonding time we now had through planning the wedding, I had almost completely forgotten why I was so mad at him. But even when I remembered, it didn't seem as bad anymore. I was finally starting to move passed it and I loved it. "Are you busy tomorrow?" I asked. He smiled at me.

"Not at all, what'd you have in mind?"

"I figured we shouldn't lose any time with these parties. We should check out all the venues she left on her list and decide which is better and then book the party. There's so much to do, I figure we can start doing it together tomorrow..if that was alright with you of course," I told him.

"Sounds good, how's 8:00 sound? We could grab breakfast and then get everything started..." he offered, slightly hesitant to what my response would be.

"It sounds perfect." I said and started getting my things ready. I needed to head back and check in with Alice to let her know everything was startin and she had nothing to worry about. I stood up with my things, double checking I had everything.

"You're leaving?" he asked, disappointment fillin his voice.

"Yea, I think it's time I head back. I've got a few things I need to do anyway, but I will see you tomorrow, bright and early," I smiled at him and gave him a hug.

"Let me know when you get in...just so I know you're safe ok?" he asked.

"Of course," I said and headed out towards my car.

As I walked from the apartment building to my car, I had the strangest feeling come over me. I felt as though I was being watched. Even though I was sure I was just being paranoid, I quickened my pace to get to my car. When I got in, I looked straight ahead, purely out of habit and I thought, for just one moment that across the street Jessica had been standing there glaring at me. But as soon as I blinked and looked again, she was gone. My mind was playing tricks on me. I started the car and back up, unable to shake the uneasy feeling. I just wanted to get back to my apartment sooner. I considered calling Edward and asking him to come over and stay with me, at least until I felt better and not scared for my life. I had never felt this scared and uneasy before. And now, I couldn't get rid of the feeling. I felt like something bad was going to happen, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I hoped Edward was alright...if I had seen Jessica across the street from his building, what was she really capable of?

I lightly hit the gas pedal when the traffic light turned green. The road, thankfully, was fairly empty tonight so I didn't need to worry about traffic. As I entered the intersection, I noticed unbelievably bright headlights coming at me from my side. Not from the front like I would expect from the cars on the opposite side of me...but the light came from my right side. Just as any knee jerk reaction, my head instantly turned toward where the light was coming from and my heart nearly stopped beating in my chest. I saw, in the short second that I had before impact, a huge SUV speeding towards me with its lights beaming high as though I was the set out target. I had no time to speed up and get out of there and I couldn't break without risking being hit from behind. I was trapped here and was about to be hit but this SUV at high impact. Edward's face was the one that popped into my head first..then Alice of course and back to Edward again. I didn't know what would come of this but I hoped with everything I had in me that I would make it out of this alive.

"Edward...I love you..."I whispered just as the SUV slammed into my right side and everything went blank.

** A/N: So, thoughts? I look forward for everyone's reviews on these two parts! Until then...**


	14. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 19-Missing

EPOV

For the first time in these passed two weeks, I felt happy and complete. For whatever reason, Bella had allowed me back into her life and from the looks of it, she was on the road to completely forgiving me. I still felt I didn't deserve to be forgiven so quickly, but I was happy to have Bella back in my life. Aside from the encounter with Jessica, the day with Bella seemed to turn into something I hadn't expected. It was perfect. It seemed as though we both had almost completely forgotten what I did. Of course I hadn't and I'm sure Bella hadn't either, but things finally seemed to be better. I guessed the two weeks apart ended up being a good thing for us because of where things were leading now.

I sat there, Bella seated across from me still flipping through the binder, double checking for anything we may have missed. I could get used to this with her...she was unbelievable.

"So you think she'll be happy with the parties?" I asked her and she began closing the binder. We both knew how particular Alice was...one thing out of place and she would lose it.

"As long as we follow her list exactly, she will be," she answered. I couldn't help but laugh at how true that was. "Are you busy tomorrow?" she asked and I couldn't help but smile. I had been thinking correctly, thankfully. Things were getting better and I honestly didn't expect for things to change for the better this quickly.

"Not at all, what'd you have in mind?"

"I figured we shouldn't lose any time with these parties. We should check out all the venues she left on her list and decide which is better and then book the party. There's so much to do, I figure we can start doing it together tomorrow..if that was alright with you of course," she said. It was a good idea...if you had seen how much went into this one section of her wedding binder, you would see three more months was not enough time to get it all done. No wonder Jasper convinced Alice to let Bella take some more control over the wedding arrangements...this stress was definitely not good on the baby.

"Sounds good, how's 8:00 sound? We could grab breakfast and then get everything started..." I offered. I was slightly hesitant as I waited for Bella to respond. What if she didn't want to get breakfast? What if she wanted to just keep it strictly to the party? What if I was wrong at how soon things were changing?

"It sounds perfect." she said and I couldn't fight back a smile. She had said yes to me. I noticed her start packing her things. My moment of happiness was put on hold when I noticed she was leaving...I didn't want her to go. I knew she had to since she didn't live here anymore but I wanted her to stay. Obviously it wouldn't be alright with her to ask her to stay the night. That was the worst part. I didn't want this day to end.

"You're leaving?" I asked, disappointed and I remembered the incident earlier with Jessica. Even though I did not think much of her threat, it was always safer not to underestimate what anyone is capable of. The thought of Bella heading home by herself did not sit well with me.

"Yea, I think it's time I head back. I've got a few things I need to do anyway, but I will see you tomorrow, bright and early," she smiled at me and gave me a hug. I welcomed it but at the same time my concern for Bella's safety continued to grow.

"Let me know when you get in...just so I know you're safe ok?" I asked. I knew I couldn't tell her she had to stay. I couldn't control her like that. But I could at least ask her to let me know when she got in, so that I could rest assured knowing she was safe.

"Of course," I promised and headed out the door. I watched as she left the apartment, thinking just how long it would take for her to get back. Jasper had told me her new place had been two blocks away from theirs. If their place is about a 20 minute drive, then within that time frame Bella should be back home safe and sound. I sat down on the couch and just stared at the clock. After 5 minutes, I got a phone call. Could Bella be calling me already? I snatched up the phone and hit the answer button

"Hello, Bella?" I said into the receiver urgently.

"No...it's Jasper," I heard and disappointment washed through me. I needed to keep the line clear if I was waiting for Bella's call. "You still trying to get her to talk to you?" He asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.

"Actually no, she came here today and left about 5 minutes ago...I'm just waiting for her call so I know she got in ok..." I told him.

"You two talked? How'd it all go?"

"Surprisingly well...from what it looks like we're going to be ok," I said and couldn't help but smile. That was all I wanted, for things to be ok and it was finally happening.

"Well," he laughed. "It's about time you two straightened things out."

"I agree...but it all needed to happen at Bella's pace, not mine. I just hope she gets in ok..." my mind trailed off. I noticed on the clock that another ten minutes had gone by. Another five and she should be in, right?

"Why wouldn't she? Did something happen?" he asked, worried. "

"Well, not exactly but in a way yes," I began to explain. "Bella and I were talking when Jessica showed up knocking on my door. For whatever reason she had convinced herself that she was my girlfriend which I told her she was not and needed to leave. When she saw me and Bella, she had accused me of cheating on her which I also explained was not the case. She stormed out but only after she warned that I would regret it...so even though I'm sure there's no cause for alarm, I'm still worried about Bella and want her to get in safely." I finished. For a few moments, there was silence. Then I heard him laughing. "What's so funny Jaz?" I asked.

"Edward...you sure do know how to pick them" he laughed, as did I.

"Yea I know...Bella had said the exact same thing." I told him.

"Well, great minds think alike..." he said. "Since you two talked, did you give her the surprise?" With everything that had happened, it wasn't the best time for it, so I hadn't.

"No, not yet...with everything just now starting to get better I want to wait a few days before I give it to her," I told him.

"Understandable..." he stopped when he heard Alice calling for him. I could hear her too; she needed his help putting things together. "Sorry, Edward I kind of have to go..Alice needs me."

"It's no problem..tell her I said hello," and with that, I went back to waiting for Bella's call. I was stupid. I had let the phone call run passed the twenty minute time line I had set up. Forty minutes had now passed and I had no call. I had call waiting, so I would've seen it if she tried calling. What was taking so long? Even with traffic she would have been home by now. I knew it was a bad idea to let her go. I couldn't sit still as the minutes passed by. Another twenty had passed and still no call. Why wouldn't she call me back?

After another half hour went by, I grabbed my phone, unsure of whether to feel angry or concerned or maybe even both... I dialed Bella's number but it instantly went to voicemail. She turned her phone off? Why would she do that knowing she was supposed to call me? Refusing to accept her phone was off, I called again and again and again...10 unanswered calls later, I was becoming more concerned that something had happened. And without her phone call or her answering her phone, I had no way of knowing what exactly was going on. I picked up the phone to call Jasper...but Alice answered. I couldn't worry her with this, she was pregnant afterall.

"Alice do you think you could put Jasper on?" I asked.

"Hello to you too Edward...he's right here, hold on." she snapped back at me.

"Hello?" I heard Jasper say into the phone.

"Jasper, please tell me you or Alice have heard from Bella since the last time you and I spoke..." I pleaded with him, frantic.

"No, we haven't. What's going on?" he asked. I guessed he moved into another room because I heard a door close in the background.

"I haven't heard from her since she left..it's been two hours," I told him.

"Maybe she just forgot and went to sleep..." he suggested.

"No Jasper, she wouldn't just forget something like that and her phone goes straight to voicemail. Something's wrong..I can feel it," I didn't know what to do. She wasn't answering and not even Jasper had heard from her.

"I'll go over to her apartment and she if she's there, ok?" he offered, also concerned. "I'll call you as soon as I know what's going on."

"Ok, I'll call Emmett and Rose to see if she's checked in with them too...Talk to you soon ...thank you Jasper."

"I care about her too, but let me go. I'll talk to you soon." We ended our call and I instantly dialed Emmett's number.

"Edward?" I heard Emmett's voice on the other end; he sounded out of breath.

"Yes Emmett, it's me.." I told him.

"Edward...it's really not a good time ," he said, hinting.

"Oh, I'm sorry for the interruption but I need to ask you something Emmett," I continued.

"Can't it wait?" he asked, clearly annoyed with me.

"No it can't. Have you heard from Bella in the passed two hours?" I asked him. I hoped he had, that way I'd at least know she's safe.

"No, no calls from Bella or any visits...everything ok?" he asked, the annoyance that had once been there was fading and turning into concern.

"I hope so..." I started and heard my other line going off. "I have to go, I have another line."

"Ok, let me know if you hear anything.." I told him I would and switched to my other line. I suspected it was Jasper, which it was but I wished it would've been Bella.

"Jasper, please tell me she's there?" I said to him.

"No Edward, she's not... her apartment's completely dark and her car isn't here. You said she's been unreachable for over two hours now?" he asked.

"Yes and now that's she's not even at her place, I'm starting to become more convinced that something happened on her way home.."

"Well I'm already on my way to your place but the road is blocked off so I'm going to have to go around," he informed me.

"Wait, the road is blocked off? Why?" this news surprised me. The only time the road was blocked off was when there was an accident or road work needed to be done, so which was it? Maybe this is what has been holdin Bella up...maybe she got held up by the accident and was waiting for the road to clear so she could get through...but wouldn't she have called and told me? Why would her cell phone even be off?

"I'm not entirely sure but it's really hard to get around it..there are news cameras all over the place and helicopters hovering all over capturing what happened. It must be really bad...try turning the news on to see what happened.." I had already thought of that before he made the suggestion. The moment Jasper told me of the news crews, my hand instantly went towards the remote and I turned on the news.

"I have it on right now..."I said, trying to pay attention to what was going on.

"What was it? What happened?" He asked, eager for the information about what he could not see in front of him.

"They're not showing it right now, the focus is on one of the reporters right now. Hold on, I'm trying to listen..." he quickly silenced himself so that I could hear what had happened.

````````The identity of the victim has not been released at this time. Paramedics have managed, however, to safely extract the body from the vehicle and are currently rushing her to the local hospital in critical condition.```````

The moment they showed the scene of the accident I was on my knees in front of the television...the truck which was shown on the screen had been completely crushed in through the right passenger side...this truck looked awfully familiar.

"This looks so bad Jaz..." I told Jasper as I remembered I was still on the phone.

"What happened?" he asked.

"It looks like a red truck was hit at high speed on the right passenger side...it's completely totalled. Reporters are saying the girl in it hasn't been identified but she's in critical condition..." I trailed off as I heard my own words.. Red truck...girl in critical condition...no wonder the truck looked so familiar. The truck had belonged to Bella...

"Edward...are you still there? Is everything ok?" Jasper's voice was distant to me. As the realization of Bella's accident hit me, nothing else seemed to matter. She was in critical condition..and meanwhile I'd been here getting mad at her for forgetting get ahold of me. This couldn't be happening. "EDWARD?" his voice filled with concern and urgency for me to respond.

"I know who it was..." I said, my voice was more a whisper but Jasper heard me.

"Who was it?" he asked.

"It's Bella..."

** A/N: You guys know what to do...send me your thoughts and I'll have the next chapter up in no time!**


	15. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 20-Hanging on

BPOV

****A/N: I just want to say that the beginning of the chapter is not a conscious Bella...it's all what's going on within her mind (just in case it sounds confusing once it's written)****

I wasn't quite sure where I was. All I knew was that one moment everything made perfect sense; I was in my car, on the road, heading home and the next I was waking up in complete darkness, minus a faint light I noticed in the distance. I was alone. Nothing was familiar to me. Getting up wasn't difficult to do though my legs felt heavy and as soon as I was up, my head started to spin. Instinctively, both my hands went in front of me as though to hold on to something but there was nothing to grab on to; at least I couldn't see with no light. I needed to get out of the darkness. I made myself begin to walk towards the light. I willed myself to pick up the pace but the heaviness of my legs was too great to comply and my head continued to throb in pain. So here I was, alone in the dark unable to walk quickly and with each movement I could feel my legs ready to give out from under me. My left leg seemed to be bothering me more than my right; I didn't understand. My hands reached down to feel my legs since I could not see them. Strange, I thought. They seemed fine to me. But then why were they bothering me so much?

I looked ahead of me once again, determined to make it to that light. Though with each step I took, it seemed as though the light moved farther into the distance. It was like I would never reach it, like walking down an endless hall way. I wanted out of this place and the more I tried, the more I failed to reach my destination. I wasn't sure how much longer I could push myself to make it to the light knowing that each try was a failed attempt. I was losing the energy and will to fight. I gave up. I sat where I stood, unable to continue . As soon as I sat down a strange pressure errupted from my chest. Suddenly it was hard to breathe and I found myself gasping for air. There was no one to call out to; afterall I had no idea where I was and to top it all off I was in complete darkness alone. No one would find me here, I was sure of it. I didn't know what to do to help myself but lay on my side and just try to breathe through whatever was happening.

``Breathe Bella...just Breathe`` I thought I heard Edward's voice beside me. I reached out my hand with extreme difficulty in the direction the voice came from. There was no one there. I was silly to think otherwise. But how could I have heard him when he wasn't even here? With or without Edward right here beside me, I listened to those words I may have imagined. I willed myself to breathe, just like he had told me to. Instead of improvement, the tightness in my chest intensified and threatened to completely compress my heart. I felt helpless laying here as I could feel every part of my life slipping away without understanding why this was happening. All I could see was that light in the distance. Slowly, I could see it start to fade...

EPOV

"What do you mean it's Bella!" Jasper's voice grew frantic in response towards my realization.

"Jaz..it's her truck...she was in that accident...we have to get to that hospital. NOW" I already grabbed my keys and was already out the door before he could answer me. "I'll meet you there..." I told him.

"Ok, I'm turning around now...Edward, what should I tell Alice?"

"Right now don't say anything, she doesn't need this kind of stress during her pregnancy. I'm sure Bella is going to be fine and once we see for ourselves, we'll break the news to her gently..." I told him. We were both unsure of what to do here but my adrenaline was pumping. I needed to get to that hospital and make sure Bella was ok. She had to be.

Knowing the road was blocked off, I took an alternative route. It was better this way..faster even. I was doing everybody at the scene of the accident a favor by not making an appearance. Whoever did this to Bella..they would pay for this. I met Jasper at the hospital and headed toward my father's office; he had been working at this hospital for years now and typically worked the night shifts. He wasn't in his office, which made me curious as to whether or not he had been assigned to Bella's case. I went to the nurse's station to get some answers.

"What room is Isabella Swan in please?" I asked her, attempting to keep my temper under control.

"I'm sorry...are you family?"

"YES." I nearly shouted at her. Jasper's sudden hand on my shoulder in reminder to keep myself in check is what kept me from completely exploding.

"One second please, I'll look her up in the system..." after a few moments she had all the information I needed. "It appears she was admitted about three hours ago and is currently in surgery. It's really not my place to discuss more than this, I'm sorry."

"Who's the attending and where can I find him?"

"Dr. Cullen, he should be in the intensive care unit if he's out of surgery...do you know how to get there?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," and with that, Jasper and I nearly ran towards the elevators and headed toward the ICU. The fact that they had admitted her to this unit alone worried me and told me she obtained serious injuries. Why else would she be in the intensive care unit and in surgery? Surgery...I had been so focused on just seeing her that I nearly overlooked what the nurse was telling me. Bella was currently in surgery...how bad was this accident? I picked up my pace as soon as Jasper and I got off the elevator.

"Do remember where his office is?" Jasper asked as I turned my head to look for the sign which would lead me to my father's office and stupidly didn't notice anyone had been in front of me.

"I'm so sorry.." I started to say but stopped when I noticed the person who I had accidently bumped into was in fact the same person I had been looking for. Standing before me was my father, Dr. Cullen the well respected surgeon in Washington. I couldn't explain how happy and relieved I was to see him standing here. "Dad.." I said in relief. Relief washed over me when I realized that if he was here, clearly he was no longer in surgery. So that possibly meant Bella was doing well, right?

"Edward? Jasper?" he looked between the two of us in question as to why we were here until he noticed the panic and concern and fear washed all over our faces. It was then realization hit him and he did not need to ask us why we were here.

"Dad...where is she?" I asked, pleading with him to give me the answers to the questions that were nonstopping roaming in my head. Was she ok? How badly was she injured? Where was she now? How did the surgery go? Could I see her? It was nonstop madness in my mind. Seeing Bella, knowing how she was would be the only thing to put my mind at ease. He looked at us once more and sighed in what seemed like defeat; I guess he knew I wouldn't be convinced to come back later...

"Follow me you two..." he turned and headed back towards the direction he had originally came. Jasper and I didn't waste any time and instantly kept pace with my father. The entire walk to where he was leading us had me yearning for Bella. Things had been going so well when she had left the apartment...of course they were too good to be true. But why her? Why couldn't something have happened to me? I couldn't help but beat myself up over everything that had happened. I was the idiot who pushed her away to begin with. If I had just been in the right state of mind, she never would have left and moved into a new apartment. Then she wouldn't have been on that road trying to get back to her place safely. This was all my fault.

We stopped near a nurse's station in the intensive care unit, which indicated we were near her room. He stopped and turned to face us before he said anything.

"I don't know the best way to say this...knowing how attached we all are to Bella," He started and immediately, my thoughts all turned for the worse. Why else would he be speaking this way.

"Please tell me she's ok dad...please!" I pleaded with him. I didn't know what I would have done if she wasn't. There was no reason for existing without her.

"Bella has obtained some serious injuries in her accident. The femur in her left leg was nearly shattered but thankfully all nerves did have function so Dr. Perez was able to rebuild it. She hit her head pretty hard in the crash as well...we don't have a way of knowing right now just how serious the damage is. We're run tests but the best way to know is when she wake up..She had some internal bleeding which gave us no choice but to go in and see how much damage had been done," he stopped to let us process everything he said. "We were able to stablize her and right now seems to be doing better than can be expected. There's no reason to believe she won't get through this...she'll just have seroius recovery time..." It was a lot to take in. I wasn't entirely sure how to respond. I was unbelievably relieved knowing Bella would be ok. Knowing how seroius her injuries were not only worried me but infuriated me. I wanted to catch whoever did this to her.

"So she's going to be ok, right Carlisle?" Jasper asked. He hoped. for Alice's sake and all of ours that Bella would pull through.

"We're keeping a close eye on her. Time will tell where we stand right now," he answered. Bella was almost like a daughter to him with how long she's known me. I couldn't imagine just how much it must be hurting him to have seen her the way the ambulance brought her here.

"Can we see her?"I asked. My voice was barely a whisper. I hoped we would be able to though I knew with the policy, he would probably tell me it was best to come back. To my surprise, he didn't instruct me to stay away.

"I'd rather her not have any visitors but I will make an exception. Please, one of you at a time,"he answered and motioned his head to the right. I turned my head, realizing he had shown me where Bella was. The curtain to her room was wide open, though I had not yet walked through. I moved closer to her room, looking in through the window. Seeing her hooked up to all those machines broke me. I couldn't stand knowing she was in pain and there was nothing I could do to help her. I was so focused on looking at her, I was started by the hand that was now on my shoulder. I turned and saw Jasper looking in through the window as well. He was trying to comfort me.

"You should go in first Edward..."he said. I heard the pain in his voice as he stared at the state of Bella's condition. "I'll go call Emmett and Rosalie...I'll have them come first thing in the morning."

"And Alice?" I asked back in a whisper but kept my eyes on Bella the entire time.

"Once I talk to Emmett and Rose, I'll head over to the apartment and break it to her gently. She's going to want to be here for this..." I nodded and turned to enter Bella's room. It was quiet. All that was heard was the beeping from the machine which monitered Bella's heart rate. It was faint but relief washed over me that it was there. My beautiful Bella was alive but hooked up to these machines. I wished with all of me it was me in this bed and not here. I'd give anything to switch places with her.

I took a seat beside her bed, trying not to make any noise. Once I was seated, I simply took a look over her, every part of her intact and alive. Her left leg however was now in a cast; her head bandaged up. Bruises created uneven patterns along her arms; very few on her face. She was broken, yet in one piece. And the idiot who put her here would pay. I had been so wrapped up in needing to make sure she was ok that I hadn't asked Carlisle if he heard who had hit her truck...I would be sure to do that. What idiot would run a red light at high speed? Someone with determination and a target would do that...a thought crossed my mind. Jessica. She couldn't have possibly done this...could she? I noticed shuffling noises coming from Bella, which brought me out of my thoughts. She stirred and gently, I took her hand in mind and moved closer. Her stirring stopped.

"Bella..." I whispered but had no response. "Bella...I know that you are in there and I hope with all of me that you can hear me. I'm here with you; I'm never leaving your side; I love you," I said and placed a light kiss on her hand. I just sat there staring at her face, hoping she would wake up . But nothing happened. Everything was the same as it had been when I first walked in. I placed my head in my hands feeling completely helpless. It wasn't until I heard a constant noise that my head shot up in realization to what that noise had been. My eyes shot up and looked from Bella to the moniter. Her already faint heart rate was falling, fast.

"I need some help in here!" I screamed as I ran to get the nurses' attention. A whole team had already rushed in on full alert, ready to handle this situation head on.

"Sir, you need to step out and let us do our job!" A nurse insisted. Carlisle rushed in and tended to Bella.

"I'm not leaving her!"I insisted.

"We need a crash cart in here stat!" he called out while a nurse ran to get the crash cart. Meanwhile they had already began chest compressions to get her heart beating. There was no response.

"Edward, you shouldn't see this!" Carlisle insisted.

"There is no way in hell you are going to get me out of this room!" I yelled the nurse who had left came rushing back in with a crash cart. I stood by, watching as they charged the paddles..

"Clear!" Carlisle shouted and charged Bella with the paddles. No response. He continued this for another three minutes. Three minutes which went by too slowly. Those were three minutes where I stood, helpless watching the love of my life laying with no heart beat in her hospital bed.

"Carlisle do something! Don't stop!" I pleaded with him, knowing I couldn't go anywhere near here while they were trying to bring her back to life. He looked at me, knowing exactly what I was asking of him and instantly began compressions to her chest. I stood there, now at the edge of her bed nearly tumbling over it unable to hold back the tears that had esacped my tear ducts. I was losing Bella...this couldn't happen. How could this be right!

"Breathe Bella...just Breathe!" I shouted to her, almost begging her to come back to me. "Come on! Breathe!" I had come so close to giving up.

"Dr. Cullen...what do you want to do?"He looked at the nurse who had inquired her question, knowing what she meant. She was asking whether he was going to call the time of death or continue attempting to resuscitate Bella. I looked at him, shaking my head, begging him not to give up. He was torn, I could see it. But Bella hadn't responded in almost five minutes. I knew what he was going to do. I dropped my head in defeat as I noticed him remove his hands.

"NO!" I shouted, my feet giving out from under me. "Bella..Breathe!" I continued, knowing it was useless.

"Call it...Time of death, 9:08 am," a nurse recited and I felt Carlisle's arms embrace me. His son was tearing apart right in front of him and there was nothing anyone could have done. The seconds went by...I was empty. Bella was gone. She couldn't be gone. But she was...

We were all startled when suddenly we heard a beep..then another. Both Carlisle and I were on our feet in an instant.

"Dr. Cullen, her BP is returning to normal...she's back..." the nurse said, astounded by what we had just witnessed. They had given up on adding any medication to get her start pumping once more and given up on any form of resuscitation...time had passed and she was declared gone yet here she was...her heart rate and BP was steady. Not exactly normal..but it was there and stronger than before. I was taken back by this...

"I can't believe it..." I said rushing over to her side. "Bella, can you hear me?" I asked her, hoping she would hear my voice and come back to me. She did! She started to stir, her fingers moving slowly and her eyes flickering as she attempted to open them. "That's it sweetie...come back to me..." I stood there hovering over her, waiting for the response as Carlisle stood on the other side checking her vitals. She opened her eyes, but closed them instantly only to open them once again. She looked around the room until her eyes landed on me. I couldn't help but smile at her. I had just lost her...for five minutes I had known what it was like to not have Bella in my life. I wouldn't stand for it ever again... I couldn't survive it. I smiled at her...I couldn't help but feel overjoyed to have her back with me, awake and looking at me. She tried to speak, but couldn't.

"Here," Carlisle offered her some water she sipped out of the straw. I noticed her eye brows furrowed as she drank and exchanged glances between Carlisle and myself. "Better?" he asked and she nodded but looked confused.

"Where am I?' she asked lightly. Her voice was a bit scratchy.

"Bella, you are in the hospital, you were in an accident," Carlisle informed her, going directly into doctor mode.

"And who are you?" she asked, looking at him. He looked at me for a moment and back to Bella.

"I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, you've been put in my care and I'm going to be keeping an extra eye on you, you scared us..." She turned to look at me in order to address me.

"And you?" she asked. I was confused. She didn't remember my dad, nor me? What?

"Bella..." Carlisle began. She turned to face him. I could see confusion and fear all over her face. "You dont remember who he is?"

"Should I?" She asked, her pulse was rising. She was working herself up over all of this, I could tell and her rising heart rate was showing it.

"It's Edward.." I told her, unable to fully comprehend what was going on. "Bella..it's ok, you're going to be ok, I'm here..." A single tear ran down her cheek and I wanted to wipe it away. I started to but she flinched away as she noticed my hand move toward her so I instantly withdrew it. "Bella..." I started but thought it best not to continue. Carlisle and I needed to talk. We looked at her, trying to calm her down and get her heart rate back to normal but she wouldn't budge. She was starting to panic.

"Why?" she asked...tears now falling down uncontrollably. "Why do you keep calling me Bella?" Carlisle and I couldn't answer..we weren't sure how to. We thought it was bad enough she didn't know us but now her own name? Whatever injury she took to her head had caused more damage than Carlisle had anticipated. How were we gong to fix this?

** A/N: Any thoughts? I'm hoping I see a lot of reviews for this chapter...**


	16. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 21-Memory

BPOV

````The pain had taken over; the distant light had nearly taken rest. My breathin scattered but I fought it. I held onto the words which I thought belonged to Edward. I could have sworn I heard him. But I was alone here. It was impossible.

"Come on! Breathe!" I heard again. The voice was frantic, filled with panic but I had no way of knowing where it was coming from. I lay here, giving up and succombing to the pain when I felt a jolt pass through me. It had been so strong it nearly lifted me from the ground until I fell back onto it. What was that? Again..I felt another jolt. Then pressure on my chest as though a pair of hands was pressing down on me over and over. I could have sworn I was going crazy. But the pain had been too great. I didn't want to feel it anymore. I wanted to relax and feel at peace. Giving up seemed to be the only answer. I stared ahead, knowing whatever breaths I had were limited and watched the light turn into nothingness. This was it, I thought. Somehow, I was leaving and had no way of turning back. I didn't know how I felt about this. By giving up, what would I be leaving behind? My loving sister, who I may at times wanted to duct tape and lock in a closet with how crazy she would get. But despite it all, I loved her. Jasper, an amazing and caring friend who I trusted completely with my sister. Emmett and Rose...Carlisle and Esme...Jacob...and of course, the love of my life, Edward. By giving up this fight, it meant I may never see Edward again. I would never feel the warmth of his touch, the tenderness in his lips, I would never get to look into his mesmorizing green eyes again.

"No!" I heard a faint scream..Edward's voice once again calling out to me. "Bella..breathe!" I could hear the urgency in the plea but was unable to distinguish the words as clearly as before. I know I had given up, but hearing him gave me the strength I needed to fight through this. I wasn't ready to give him up. There was still so much I wanted. I wanted to finish school and get my degree. I wanted to see my older sister get married. I wanted to be there when she had her baby. I wanted to be with Edward. I wanted a life with him. I couldn't just lay here defeated and let whatever was happening to me take away my future with my family and with Edward! How could I have considered giving up even for a moment? I felt like an idiot; I felt weak. No! I couldn't give up. I wouldn't. I had to fight. And I did...

I felt strange...I felt pain and confusion and the need to open my eyes.

"I can't believe it..." I heard close by. The unknown voice sounded thrilled, why? "Bella, can you hear me?" Bella? Was he talking to me? Of course I could hear him. I began to stir, clearly waking up. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about. I opened my eyes but the lighting, even though dim was brighter than I expected and my head felt like it was on fire. I instantly closed my eyes but willed them open to adjust. "That's it sweetie...come back to me..." Sweetie? Come back to me? Was this my boyfriend? Why was he calling me sweetie? Why was I confused? I tried to talk; tried to ask questions but my throat had been so scratchy. Thankfully, the man with blonde hair dressed in scrubs...I guessed doctor...was handing me water to help. A doctor? Wait, where was I?

"Here," he offered me the water which I drank without hesitation. But I was confused. So many questions went through my mind. Why were these strangers here with me.? Where was I? Who were these people? I looked around and noticed the hospital room and the machines I had been hooked up to...what was happening? "Better?" he asked and I nodded to let him know I was, in a manner of speaking.

"Where am I?' I asked...I knew I wasn't speaking loudly but thankfully, I was heard.

"Bella, you are in the hospital, you were in an accident," the man in the scrubs had answered me, so I addressed him first. An accident? What type of accident? When? What happened? How badly was I hurt?

"And who are you?" I asked him, but he seemed confused. Wouldn't it be normal for what appeared to be a patient to not know their doctor considering they'd never met before? Was I wrong but didn't they usually introduce themselves?

"I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, you've been put in my care and I'm going to be keeping an extra eye on you, you scared us..." He told me. I could see the concern in his eyes though it ran deeper than the normal concern for a patient. Did I know him outside of the hospitaL? Why else would he be this concerned about me?

"And you?" I asked as I turned to the guy with the green eyes...I didn't recognize him at all. Despite not knowing him, I found myself feeling a strange attachment to him which caught me off guard. I was surprised by the intensity of the emotions that went through me as I watched him look at me with hurt and confusion in his eyes. It made me feel like I was supposed to know him and by not remembering, it caused him pain. I hated it.

"Bella..." Dr. Carlisle Cullen began. I turned to look at him even though I did not wish to turn my gaze away from the tall, handsome guy who I was trying desperately to rememeber. "You dont remember who he is?" He asked me, which reinforced my suspicions.

"Should I?" I asked...I was supposed to know him but I couldn't remember. I laid there staring at both of them back and forth, trying so hard to figure out why my memory seemed to be absent. Was this result of the accident I was told I was in? I started to panic...I had no control over my unsteady breathing as I realized the severity of the accident. I couldn't get my breathing under control and the more I tried to remember, the more I panicked.

"It's Edward.." the tall, gorgeous guy told me reassuringly"Bella..it's ok, you're going to be ok, I'm here..." I felt a tear escape my tear duct; I was afraid of everything that had happened. When this, Edward's hand moved towards me I instinctively flinched away from his touch. By doing so, I saw the hurt on his face and that only made my panic worse. "Bella..." he started but quickly stopped. Both Edward and Dr. Cullen could see my panic. Through all of this I had realized something I probably should've asked sooner. This entire time, both of them had been referring to me as..Bella.. Was this my name? How could I not remember my own name?

"Why?" I started to ask, unable to control my tears. "Why do you keep calling me Bella?" They both looked confused. Edward was horrified.

"You don't know who you are?" he asked, fearful of what response I would give him.

"No..." I noticed Dr. Cullen pull up a chair at my bedside. Before addressing me, he turned to Edward and advised him to step out of the room so that he could talk to me. Edward was reluctant to leave me, which made me think we were closer than my original assumption...this made me happy but I wanted to remember everything! Dr. Cullen took my hand, assuring me that I was safe.

"Before I say anything else, I want you to try to remain calm...I understand you feel scared right now, everything is unfamiliar and new to you so it may be too much for you to take in...if at any time you wish for me to stop, let me know and I will do so...okay?" I nodded. I understood what he was trying to do and I was thankful for it. "Okay...your name is Isabella Swan, Bella is what you prefer to go by. You were in an accident late last night on your way home to your apartment and were taken here to Forks Memorial Hospital. You've obtained some serious injuries, some of which required us to operate. The femur in your left leg was nearly shattered but thankfully we have a remarkable surgeon working with us here who was able to rebuild it...with physical therapy and time, you will be able to walk on it. You had some internal bleeding which we've stabolized and you did hit your head..." he paused. "Do you want me to continue" I nodded. I needed to hear it all. "We weren't sure at the time how serious the trauma was to your brain though from the looks of it, you have amnesia but I will call for tests so that we cn see what it is we are dealing with..." Amnesia...no wonder I couldn't remember!

"Do..." I started but needed a second to get myself under control as I could not stop crying. He squeezed my hand lightly, perhaps to let me know there was no rush for questions. "Do you think I will ever get my memory back?

"I'm afraid I won't be able to answer that question until I run some tests. After that, we'll know what's really going on..." he told me.

"How did it happen?" I asked him..."The accident, I mean." He took a deep breath.

"From what the paramedics reported, it seems someone ran a red light at high speed and hit your truck as you were driving through the intersection. The rest is in the police report...I'm sure within the next few days they'll be here to speak with you but if you do not remember, do not stress yourself too much trying to, okay?" I nodded but found myself deep in thought. As Dr. Cullen briefly explained my accident I tuned out. An image formed before me and everything else seemed to fade away...I saw a red truck..possibly the truck that I was just told about and I saw a girl in it. I felt like I knew this girl; she was too familiar. I felt connected to her as I watched as she stared out her passenger window in bewilderment. Bright headlights were coming at her..almost too deliberately. I heard as she breathed her words before the car struck..."I love you Edward..." was what she said and then I heard the effect of the impact. As the truck flipped and was crushed, the image all too quickly faded away and I was back in the hospital room with Dr. Cullen flashing a light in my eyes. I blinked several times, snapping out of it.

"Bella?" he questioned, slightly worried as to what had happened to me. I shook my head, staring down trying to make sense out of what had just happened.

"I'm sorry...I..." I paused, still completely confused. "nevermind..." I said and my voice trailed off. I was trying to process what just happened. Was I remembering something? The girl in the truck...that must have been me, which I only assumed because Dr. Cullen had told me I was in a truck when the accident happened. 'I love you Edward' was what the girl had said...was this Edward the same one who had been in this room not to long ago? I loved him? I was desperate to remember.

"Carlisle...is everything ok in here?" I heard a voice enter the room which came from the door. I glanced up and noticed Edward...instantly I looked back down, feeling nervousness overcome me with him around. If I was in love with him, according to my memory...did he even know? Did he love me?

"It seems to be alright right now but I am going to order those tests right away," he told Edward and then turned back to me. "Bella, if you have another episode like this one, you must tell me. You may be confused and are choosing to keep it to yourself, but if you start to remember anything, you must tell me..." I nodded though not ready to tell him what I saw or remembered. I couldn't even make sense of it.

"Another episode? Carlisle, what happened?" I sat there, trying to focus purely on my thoughts. I was so focused on figuring out what the image I had "seen" meant and if infact I was remembering something that I didn't notice Edward and Dr. Cullen leave the room to discuss his findings. I certaintly didn't notice when a short haired brunette who resembled a pixie came charging into the room frantic and going off on a rampage.

"BELLA! There you are! I've been going crazy ever since Jasper told me what happened to you! Thank goodness you're ok! You are ok aren't you? " she asked but continued before I could say anything. "Of course you are, minus a cast and all you are looking great! Don't ever put me through that again ok! I can't lose you!" she finished and stood there with a serious look on her face. I wasn't sure who this person was but she seemed to care for me a great deal. I figured if she had been so worried about me this whole time, I wouldn't let her know right away that I didn't even know her. I motioned for her to take the seat that Dr. Cullen had originally been seated in since it was now available. He had still been talking to Edward out in the hall...I kind of wished they warned her before letting her come in blindsided.

"Take a seat," I told her and she quickly ran over and hugged me, gently and took a seat.

"I'm so angry with Jasper and Edwardright now, Bella. I can't believe they waited so long before they told me you were in an accident! Your own sister! I should've been here when you woke up, not Edward!"

"Sister," I whispered to myself, taking in new information. So this girl was my sister. Wow did I feel horrible, I couldn't even remember my own sister! And who was Jasper? This was so frustrating. Unfortunately, she heard me.

"Um, yes I'm your sister!" she exclaimed "Bella, I know I haven't acted like you big sister lately what with the pregnancy and planning the wedding but I am still here for you...if you're mad at me for not being there I'm so sorry..I'll do better.." she started crying. I didn't know how to handle this. I didn't expect her to just burst into tears; I felt uneasy. Pregnancy though? Wedding? Was it her wedding and pregnancy she was talking about? I did the first thing that came to mind and I put my hand in hers and squeezed tightly, reassuring her I didn't mean any harm.

"I'm sorry if I upset you...of course I'm not mad at you..." I said and it seemed to work. In less than a second Alice was beaming, no tear in sight...wierd.

"Ok good...and I'm sorry to be so emotional, it's those hormones..." I nodded my head as though I knew what she was talking about. "So, how were the wedding plans coming along? Things work out when you went to talk to Edward?" She asked me. Crap. How was I supposed to answer a question I didn't know the answer to. And then it happened again. Everything in the room seemed to disappear and I found myeslf in an apartment, watching as a bystander as myself and Edward sat on the floor on an apartment with a wedding binder open, a lap top and chinese food on the table. I watched as we talked, making fun of how crazy Alice was going to be about the parties if something did not go as planned. I listened as we made plans to meet again the next morning at 8:00 to further to discuss venues and have breakfast...Once again, the image disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. I was remembering things? This Edward and I seemed to have definitely been close and were planning something for Alice...it was a wedding which made me assume Alice was my sister, who happened to be sitting next to me snapping her fingers in my face shoutin my name to get my attention.

"Oh, sorry about that..." I said, snapping out of it once more.

"Bella, what's with you! Did you two mess something up and you aren't telling me! I promise, if you tell me now I will not lose it but if you don't tell me, you will not like me very much..." she started demanding. My sister appeared to be very self involved at the moment, or was this frequent? She was also a bit demanding and oblivious to things around her which I did find slightly amusing the way she acted when she was this way.

"Sorry...Alice?" I said, almost questioning and worrying I'd get her name wrong. "I think we were supposed to meet the next day to continue with plans and have breakfast..." I told her, completely guessing based on what I think I remembered. She seemed to believing each word and I seemed to have called her by the correct name.

"For breakfast? So things are better with you two?" she asked, taking on a new excitement.

"I guess so?" I responded in a questioning manner.

"Oh come on Bella...I know you know! Please tell me! I've been going crazy waiting for you two to patch things up!" she whined in annoyance.

"Patch things up?" I asked, confused. Was I remembering the wrong things? I was under the impression we were very close and got along very well. We must have if the last words I said before the car hit me was that I loved him. Did we break up? This was so confusing!

"Bella, stop this isn't funny!" she complained...and before I could answer, Dr. Cullen and Edward were back in the room.

"Alice, what are you doing?" Edward insisted as he rushed over to my side.

"What are you talking about Edward? I'm trying to have a conversation with my sister who won't tell me if you two patched things up or not! She's purposely keeping it from me and it isn't funny anymore! Why else would you meet for breakfast after getting together to work on wedding plans!" A part of me honestly hoped that neither Edward nor Dr. Cullen caught on to the informtion Alice gave them about me and Edward meeting. I still wasn't sure if that was the right information so stirring up false hope wasn't needed right now.

"She's not doing that to play some stupid game with you Alice!" he said through his teeth. I had a feeling he was angry with her; I didn't want him to be.

"Edward...you shouldn't talk that way to her, she's in a fragile state, don't you know that? I said, defending my sister just like any other sister would be.

"Bella, you know that she's pregnant?"he asked, hopeful almost.

"She's known I was pregnant since I peed on the damn stick Edward! What's wrong with you?" Alice responded. All this debate and back and forth arguing was making my already bad head ache worse. Instead of answering her, he turned to me and waited for my answer. Now everyone was staring at me and it was making me uneasy. Edward seeked and answer and I assumed Dr. Cullen was curious as well to know my response. Alice however, seemed as though she was waiting for my confirmation to what she had just said. This was too much for me but I seemed to not have a choice. I took a deep breath before I looked down, avoiding all the eye contact and answered.

"I know she's pregnant...she brought up a pregnancy and a wedding when she came in here," I dreaded the responses that would come from this.

"Bella," Alice complained. "This isn't funny! You've known for much longer than that! You were the second person I told after Jasper!"

"Alice," Edward addressed her, saddness in his voice. "she doesn't remember anything..."

"What?" she asked, clearly taken back.

"She lost her memory in the accident...she didn't even know her own name," he looked down, feeling bad for having to break the news to her.

"No, I refuse to believe that!" she exclaimed.

"I'm afraid it is Alice..." Dr. Cullen chimed in. "We knew she had obtained some head trauma but until she woke up we had no way of knowing how severe it is...we are going to be taking her for tests in half an hour..." She stood there as we all watched her as she processed. Again, she was in denial. She refused to believe I had lost my memory.

"You all say she lost her memory.." she started,"then by all means, explain to me how she knew my name was Alice or how she knew that she was supposed to meet Edward for breakfast the day after they met to work on the wedding parties...try to explain that to me because I definitely didn't know what happened when the two of you met and I definitely didn't need to tell my own sister my name!" she stood there, eyeing both Edward and Carlisle and crossed her arms. Those as the time went on, neither one was able to come up with an explanation. "That's what I thought!" she huffed and took a seat. That's when all the attention turned to me by everyone. I knew then that I definitely had some questions to answer, even though I was still unsure of how to answer them.

"Alice," Dr. Cullen started. "While you were in here talking to Bella, did she at any time appear to have drifted off and become unaware of her surroundings?"

"Yes actually, not too long ago she stopped paying attention to me and I had to snap her out of it, it was quite rude...why? she asked him. He stood there, thinking for a moment before he spoke again.

"Bella," this time he addressed me. "This is the second time such an episode has happened...when were you going to inform us that you were starting to regain your memory?" I sat there, all eyes on me unsure of what to say. Was that what was happening to me? I was regaining my memory? I started feeling bad for not telling him sooner what I had remembered, so now everyone was probably going to be mad at me...great, this was not the impression I wanted to give everyone, especially the people who seemed to care about me. I took a deep breath and encouraged myself to respond.

"Well..." I started and tried to avoid all the eyes that were fixated on me...

**A/N: ok so...this is where I leave you all to review...the more reviews I see, the more inspired I am to proceed with writing chapter 22...thanks :)**


	17. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 22-Standstill

BPOV

I wasn't sure where I was when I woke up, to be honest. I was, once again, surrounded by darkness. A faint light was in the distance; this light seemed familiar to me. As though I had been confronted with it before and it was back, taunting me. Something was different. Even though I seemed to stay in place, the light began moving towards me. I noticed the shadow of a girl walking towards me, though I could not see her face. I wasn't sure what was going on but I wanted answers. Within minutes, the figure stood closer. Her face still hidden in the dark.

"Who are you?" I asked, almost afraid of the response I would receive, if any. There was silence, until finally the darkness faded and the figure revealed herself to me. I stood, confounded at the vision before me. This couldn't be real. This had to be some sort of dream. I closed my eyes, in hopes of if I opened them, I would be back in reality. My attempt was in false hope however. When I opened my eyes, I was still in the same place watching the girl before me, grinning at me. She knew what I was trying to do and knew each attempt would have the same result. I was staring back at myself. The girl was me.

I figured she would say something, anything but no. She just stood there, grinning at me. It was as though she was trying to annoy me to the point that I would snap.

"Are you going to say something or are you just going to stand there, grinning at me?" I asked, annoyed at the other me. I didn't even understand how this person could be another me. I sat down on the floor in defeat when the other me did not answer me. To my surprise, she did the same.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to frustrate you," she said, trying to stiffle a laugh. I didn't see anything amusing in all this; it was all too confusing.

"So you speak...care to tell me how you look like me?" I kept trying to figure it out by myself but the more I tried, the more confusing it all became. This made no sense. Surely the imposter could explain how she looked just like me.

"Sure I can...I am you Bella," she said. "I'm the version of yourself that you lost in the accident."

"So that would mean that you have all the memories I've been trying to regain, but haven't." I said quietly, more with the intention of saying it to myself but the other me heard it, of course.

"Exactly," she told me. I was more surprised now than I had been when I first realized the figure looked like me. Here I sat, with another version of myself trying to figure out why I still had not been able to regain my memories. This was perfect also; the Bella sitting before me knows everything I don't anymore and could help me remember. She had to..right?

"So...you can help me remember?" I asked, hopeful that her answer would bring back all the pieces of the puzzle I could not solve. She grinned at me...what was with her and the grinning? Couldn't she stick to giving me answers?

"I'm afraid I can't do that...but don't worry," she told me. "When the time is right, you'll get your memory back." The grin returned, only to bring back the annoyance I had originally had towards this Bella. When the time was right? Was she serious? The time was right now, not later! How was I supposed to be myself when I don't even know who I really am as a person? How am I supposed to build relationships with people who appear to be complete strangers to me?

"I don't get it...how else am I supposed to make sense of everything?" I asked, clearly showing my frustration. To my dismay, she did not answer. "If you're not supposed to tell me and if I'm not meant to remember everything right now...then how is it I keep getting random flashes? Aren't they memories? And why are most of my flashes all revolving around Edward? Was he my boyfriend? I need to know these things!"

"I may not be able to give you the memories that I have...but I can tell you that he is important Bella. Don't try to fight the memories from coming to the surface; you remember what you do for a reason," she answered.

"That's it? That's all you'll tell me?" She nodded her head in response. I didn't understand why she was being so vague. We sat in silence for the rest of the time until I heard distant voices, but I knew there was no one else but us. A moment later, she was gone and everything before me disappeared.

When I opened my eyes, I was back in the hospital room; of course. It would all be a dream. As I tried adjusting to the light, I looked around trying to take in my surroundings. I noticed Edward asleep on the chair beside my bed; he looked distressed. He couldn't have been comfortable sitting in that chair. I thought of waking him and telling him to go home to get proper sleep but instead, I continued watching him. I couldn't deny the strange feeling which overcame me every time I looked at him; I felt connected to him, as though I belonged with him. This was a feeling I could not understand given I had no real memories of what my life was like before this accident. Another feeling I simply could not understand was why along with this feeling of belonging, there was a feeling of hurt. As though something had happened which put a strain on whatever relationship he and I may have had. I was determined to remember though. In the meantime, I waited for Edward to wake. I didn't have to wait long, fortunately. Within the hour, Edward started opening his eyes. They shot opened when he realized I was awake. I couldn't help but smile at the excitement he seemed to have when he saw me.

Once again, everything faded. I found myself in an apartment...the same apartment I had recalled when I watched Edward and I plan a party for Alice's wedding. This time, I stood in the doorway of a bedroom. A bedroom which seemed to belong to a girl...I assumed it was my bedroom. I watched, undetected, as Edward sat at the foot of the bed and I stood in front of him. I was angry; it seemed as though we were having a fight. This made me uneasy. Edward and I fought? I stood by, trying to understand what was happening.

`````` "Yes, well, I've never admitted to myself before that I was in love with you. So it didn't seem to apply to my emotions before..." I heard myself tell Edward. The right words would be that I heard myself admit it to Edward. I assumed he didn't know before because of the taken back look on Edward's face and the panicked look I saw plastered on mine. I stood at the doorway, anxious for what his response would be.

"What did you just say?" He looked at the Bella who stood before, confusion on his face. So he never knew...he never knew this Bella was inlove with him. Why wouldn't she have told him sooner?

"Please don't make me repeat myself..."she told him, not looking up. I watched as this Bella refused to look up from the floor, terrifed of what Edward would say or do. I watched as he stood from the bed and placed his hand under her chin to lift her head. She had no other choice but to look...I probably should feel like some peeping Tom but this was still me...I was remembering this moment. Another moment which included Edward and myself.

"You just said you were in love with me? I'm not hearing things...? " he asked, his eyes focused on her.

"No, you're not hearing things Edward. I love you. I always have. It just took me a while to admit it to myself and to you..." ``````

The vision before me faded and I was now looking into Edward's concerned eyes. I couldn't put it passed him that he knew exactly what had happened considering Dr. Cullen...or Carlisle-he insisted I call him by his name-had already made it clear to everyone that slowly my memory was coming back to me. It was the only thing that explained why I would black out and suddenly be able to recall things I wasn't supposed to remember.

"What was it?" he asked, searching my eyes for an answer. I wanted to tell him but it made me nervous to tell him I remembered admitting I was inlove with him. That memory did explain why I had these unexplained feelings now but was I ready to tell him about it all? I didn't think so...

"Nothing," I looked away, hoping someone would come into the room.

"Bella," he said, disappointed because he knew I was keeping something from him. But before he could continue, Dr. Cullen aka Carlisle came in to check up on me.

"How are we doing today Bella? Feeling any better?" he asked as he began to check my vitals.

"Would be better if I wasn't in a hospital bed anymore..." I smiled slightly as I answered him. I was hoping to be discharged from the hospital soon though I dreaded going back to a place I didn't know.

"Not to worry..you should be going home within the next few days," he told me. "Have there been anymore episodes?"

"Just the one since the last time," I informed him. I knew this would cause Edward to bring up more of his questions about it but I hoped once I cleared this up with Carlisle, then he would drop it. "It wasn't anything big..." I added.

"It lasted longer than the previous episodes Carlisle," Edward told him. I couldn't help but feel irritated. What did it matter how long it lasted? Wasn't it enough to know that it did happen?

"What was it this time Bella?" Carlisle asked, interested to know what I was remembering. Luckily, he hadn't pushed for details last time so I knew that would not change this time around.

"Like I said, nothing big," I could tell Carlisle sensed my discomfort.

"If it wasn't anything big, then why not tell us?" Edward pushed.

"Edward, when Bella feels she is ready to share her memories, she will," Carlisle told him and instantly, Edward backed off. I could see understanding in his eyes though the curiosity still lingered. I couldn't figure out why he wanted to know so badly. It was as though he was looking for something specific...

"So I can go home soon?" I brought up once more.

"I don't see why not...we've been monitering your progress and it's looking positive. You're stitches will be removed later today and within the next day or so...you should be good to go," he told me. "But you may need some help here and there Bella...which has me concerned sending you back to your apartment alone." There it was. The answer I had been wondering about ever since I realized I had to be discharged sooner or later. I did live alone; which I didn't understand.

"Bella, you're more than welcome to move back in with me until you've fully recovered...or I can come to you, it's not a problem for me," Edward offered.

"Move back in?" I asked, confused. So I did live with Edward, but I moved out. Why?  
"I'll give you two time to talk...Bella I'll be back to check in on you later,"with that, Carlisle left the room. I kept my attention on Edward who seemed uneasy at the sudden subject.

"Yea...I moved into your apartment when Alice moved in with Jasper," he informed me. "And due to certain circumstances, you decided to move out and found a place two blocks away from Alice's apartment..."

"Certain circumstances?" I noticed he told me this in a specific way...as though to avoid telling me what exactly happened that made me want to move out. This lack of information on its own was already starting to confuse me and I didn't like it. He looked down at the floor, obviously nervous as to how I would react towards the information I was asking for. The fact that he was still planning on telling me made me appreciate Edward for it. I knew I wasn't making anything easy for him by keeping my memories in the dark; but he seemed determined to help me make my way back; even if it meant I would see him in a different way based on the new information. But could I really hold what happened before the accident against him when I have no real recollection of it?

**A/N: I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I'm trying to keep the updates coming in more frequently! For now...review, review, review!**


	18. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 23-Wishful Thinking

EPOV

The police still hadn't been able to identify who had hit Bella's truck; the other driver had run off not too long after the incident but managed to get away without being detected before the police and ambulance showed up. Through Bella's entire hospital stay, Emmett, Jasper and I have continuously made it our personal business to find who did this. The other day, the police were able to gain access to a security camera of a local shop close by the scene of the accident. The current plan was to get the tapes of each shop that could have potentially caught not only the accident, but the other driver running away from the crime. I had given the police my statement about the threats Bella and I had recently received from Jessica. Although I did not completely believe she was capable of something so vile, a part of me dreaded the possibility that it was in fact her. In light of the information provided to them, she made her way to the top of the suspect list. I just hoped I would hear from them soon about the tapes; it really should not have taken so long to come up with looking at the tapes. Another issue I had dealt with, was explaining to Bella why she had moved out; or why I thought she had moved out for she had never fully given me an exact answer. I wasn't stupid though. I knew it was to give herself time away from what I kept putting her through and I couldn't blame her.

Confessing the entire truth to Bella about our recent falling out was more difficult than I could have imagined. In the back of my mind, I knew without her knowing about it, it gave us a fresh start. It was a chance for the two of us to reconnect and start something new, given the assumption that she even wanted to. This was the exact reason why I continuously tried to push what memories Bella kept slipping back to. I was hopeful, even if it was so unlikely, that her memories were about the two of us. About the amazing friendship we had through the years, about the two of us connecting on a more romantic level and of course, the kiss we shared. I knew it was probably wishful thinking, but I wanted her to remember the day she finally told me she loved me; it was the day I realized what I needed and wanted in my life, what I was missing had been standing in front of me for so long. It took an outraged Bella to make me realize how blind I had been. And in a moment of weakness...a moment of doubt, I messed it up yet somehow managed to gradually go back on Bella's good graces. I never thought it would happen and so quickly, only to have everything we had been through together get lost in one moment. I sat here, as close to Bella's bedside as I could possibly get debating whether or not she would mind if I held her hand. I was giving her time to process our conversation even though the silence was driving me insane. I wanted to know what she was thinking. The best way to get any insight was to watch her but I figured she caught on and remained expressionless...something Bella was never able to do with me. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing that she could now or not.

"Bella," I started, hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I was speaking too soon or not. I wasn't even sure if I should be the one initiating a conversation now. I was clearly in over my head, but I would not run from my mistakes. I wanted to build something with Bella and if it meant waiting forever, I would. "please, what are you thinking?" I couldn't even begin to imagine the endless possibilities of what could be circling through her mind.

"Honestly?"she asked. I could see that she was trying to find the right words to describe what she thought. I braced myself for whatever was going to happen. "I'm not sure how to feel about it...you say it happened but I just can't remember any of that. How can I hold something I don't remember against you?" I sat there, staring at her completely confounded at what she had just said. She wasn't going to be mad at me? Not even after I told her what a terrible person I had been? That didn't make sense, why would she be doing this? Did it mean she didn't care either way...her memories of her feelings for me were gone and were not going to come back? That last thought shot a splitting pain through my heart; I couldn't imagine never being with Bella.

"Nonetheless, I hurt you Bella," I said, looking away from her. "Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do and I did it on more than one occassion...for you to tell me you can't blame me for any of it, I just don't deserve that..."

"Hey," she called to me softly, as though she was trying to comfort me. I didn't understand this at all and I just couldn't face her. I kept my eyes glued to the floor until I felt Bella's fingers on my chin, bringing my head up to look her directly in the eyes. As soon as I felt her touch, that familiar intense electric feeling traveled through me, making me realize just how much I missed Bella's touch. Before she said anything else, I noticed hesitation and a slight gasp of air from Bella. It was as though something caught her off guard. I wasn't sure if it was the best time to say something..to ask her if she was ok until I noticed the familiar look she had on her face. The one she had three other times since she had been in the hospital. The same look which told me she was remembering something, leaving me with yet another urge to ask what she had seen and remembered. I knew she wouldn't tell me though; I assumed she was trying to make sense out of it. I noticed her come back to reality when her breathing became more even yet she still did not say anything. She continued staring at me, as if she was trying to figure something out. I was about to ask what it was but then remembered I had agreed to give her time. I wanted her to tell me about these memories when she was ready. "Edward..." she started but hesitated. She struggled for words.

"Whatever it is Bella, you can tell me," I encouraged her.

"Edward...with these random flashes I keep getting, it's almost impossible for me to be mad at you for what you did. Even if I was mad, I don't think it could last long," she told me. What was she remembering? I thought to myself. Once again, my thoughts got the best of me and for a moment, I allowed myself to believe she was remembering being in love with me. I hoped that was why it wouldn't be easy for her to stay upset but it couldn't be the case. Entertaining this idea for too long wouldn't do me any good. I wasn't sure exactly how to respond to what she said without inquiring about her memories. Instead, I brought up the next best thing I could think of.

"So, now that you know the truth about you moving out...what do you want to do once you're discharged?" I asked, hoping whatever he decision was, she would choose to be with me.

"Well...maybe going to my new place would be a good idea. I have no clue what it is like there but once I see it for myself, I can figure out what would be best. I know I'll need help so if there's no extra room there, I may go back to the apartment with you..." she told me. "I can't exactly ask Alice to babysit me when she's pregnant and getting ready for a wedding...when is that happening again?" Bella let out a small chuckle, trying to lighten the fact that she couldn't remember her own sisters's wedding.

"It's in two weeks Bella," I informed her; I couldn't help but feel sad at the fact that she and I were the ones meant to be planning Alice and Jasper's reception. But with Bella's condition, Rosalie kindly stepped in to help me even though she basically took over completely.

"Do I even have an outfit?" she asked me as the realization of the date hit her.

"Bella, you're the maid of honor. Alice would probably have your head if you didn't have an outfit two weeks before her wedding," we both laughed at the thought. I was honestly surprised that Bella laughed at the statement with such ease. With her memory not being what it normally would be, she couldn't have known Alice's tendancy when it came to detail and clothing. Not unless she remembered something...

We spent most of the time we had together this way. I would share with her all of the information I had about her past, considering I knew her when she was so young. I told her about how we met, how we were best friends. I told her about our friends and family; and about how Jasper and Alice met.

"She really denies we played any part in getting them together?" Bella asked, laughing.

"Yea," I told her. "She's convinced you and I had no role what so ever, even though we set them up on a blind date. She thinks they met in high school years ago," I laughed at the thought. Alice just couldn't accept being wrong.

"Why would she think that?"

"I'm honestly not sure; they never even went to the same high school," I told her. Our laughter was interrupted when my dad came in with good news.

"So Bella..how do you feel about going home today?" he asked her, already knowing her answer.

"You're not joking around with me, right?" she asked, unable to mask her excitement.

"I'm not joking Bella," he laughed. "I've got your discharge papers right here for you to sign and a list of perscriptions you will need to pick up. Make sure you try to avoid moving around too much though; too much strain will not be good."

"Will I be able to move around more for Alice's wedding?"

"It shouldn't be a problem, just be sure to take it easy the next few days and we'll do a follow up next week," he left Bella with all the necessary paperwork and headed out.

"Edward?" Bella asked as she began signing the forms.

"Yes Bella..."

"Can we not tell Alice that I'll be able to move around so much in two weeks?" she asked, trying to look innocent. I knew exactly what she was doing and even why...it seemed even though Bella lost her memory, she was still in there simply waiting to come out.

"I can't promise anything...she has her ways of knowing things even if you're not the one to tell her," I helped gather Bella's things and gave her some privacy to get herself dressed.

On the way to Bella's apartment, she made sure to give Alice a call. Earlier, Alice had stopped by to check in on her but regretted not being able to be there when Bella was released. With the wedding being around the corner, Alice had last minute preparations that needed to be tended to and Bella seemed to understand. There wasn't much else she could do but I was thankful she didn't mind having me around her so much. I listened as Bella finished up her conversation with Alice.

"No Alice, I just have to take it easy for a while," I heard her say.

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to move around much on the dance floor...I was told to take it easy afterall.."I tried my best to stiffle my laugh when I heard Bella say this. I could only imagine how things sounded from Alice's end.

"I know it's your wedding Alice..."

"No, I'm not trying to ruin it by sitting the entire time..."

"Alice, you're probably going to be so overwhelmed with all the excitment that you won't notice how often I hit the dance floor..." that was the last thing I heard before the two got off the phone. I was now able to let out any laughter I tried my best to hold in.

"You're wrong you know..." I told her in between laughs.

"About?" she asked, almost afraid of what I meant.

"She is going to notice," I laughed. "Even with all the excitment."

"Great!" Bella groaned and crossed her arms. "Are we there yet?" she asked, attempting to change the subject. I could tell she wanted to get her mind off of Alice's wedding and being forced to dance against her will.

"Yea, we're here," I told her as I put the car in park. "Stay here, I'll help you out." She nodded and waited as I got out and made my way over to her side of the car. She handed me her keys, which were returned to her from the accident, I grabbed the bags and slowly guided Bella toward the elevator. With her being on the fifth floor of the complex, I was not about to let her take the stairs, not in her condition. I set the bags down so that I could unlock the door once I found the right one. Once I unlocked it, I waited a moment before opening the door. I realized something-I knew it was silly-but this would be the first time seeing where Bella moved to and for her as well, considering she couldn't remember it. We were both in for a surprise.

"Ready?" I asked and she nodded, just as anxious as I was. "Here we go." I said and turned the knob. We took a step inside and looked around in awe.

"Wow," we said in unison. Bella's new apartment was amazing; it looked as though it belonged in a catalogue and it suited her well. This place screamed Bella; no wonder she leased the place.

"Bella..this place is incredible," I told her as I watched her move around the room, trying to become reacquainted with her home.

"Tell me about it," she laughed. She made her way into the incredibly large kitchen and noticed the area where her phone was. Next to it, her answering machine was flashing its read light. She must have had messages. She walked over to it and pressed the button to hear what she missed while she was in the hospital.

-You have 37 new messages...Message 1: Call from Jacob Black-

-Hey Bella...I haven't heard from you in a while now, you haven't returned my calls. Is everything ok? I didn't do anything to upset you did I? I know that sounds lame but I'm worried about you. Please, as soon as you get the chance, call me back. I've been going crazy not hearing from you!-

Majority of these messages seemed to be from Jacob; I remembered him. It took every ounce of energy in me not to explose with rage at the sound of his messages. Bella had assured me they were just friends but there had to be something; I could tell in his voice his feelings ran deeper than just a friendship with Bella.

"Um..Edward? Who's Jacob?" she asked. I honestly didn't even know where to begin with the subject of Jacob. It's not like I even knew much about it or their relationship; but I guess I would have to tell her about what happened when she brought him around to Jasper's place that night. This should be interesting.

**A/N: Yes...another chapter up soo soon! What can I say...I just had to...don't forget to review everyone! I want to know what your thoughts are..any predictions?**


	19. Chapter 24 Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter 24-Trying to Remember-Part 1

BPOV

Edward's explanation of who Jacob Black was not as helpful as I know he was trying to be. As it turned out, Edward didn't know much about Jacob. He only knew enough that came from a party at Alice and Jasper's place. Apparently, that had been the night I confessed my feelings for Edward and the same night Edward realized how much he cared. Seeing me with Jacob made him jealous. However, even with all the details Edward had given me, that didn't leave me with much insight about my relationship with Jacob. Who was he? Why was he so worried about me? Why did it sound from all of his messages that there was something going on between the two of us? I needed answers. There was so much I was still missing, not including my own ability to remember all of this information. Through my entire stay at the hospital, I had been reintroduced to everyone that was part of my life. Jacob was not included which made me question what part he did play in it. I couldn't exactly call him back and ask who he was. For one, that seemed so strange to me and secondly, there was no number with the message. I assumed it was blocked. I hated not being able to remember anything.

"I don't get it," I admitted, shaking my head trying to process everything.

"What Bella?" Edward asked; I knew I hadn't made it clear enough for him to understand.

"Just...all of it. I don't get why I can't just remember already! I hate not knowing my own life and the people in it. I thought if I became reacquainted with the people that were in it back at the hospital but apparently not," once I started my rant, it was getting harder to stop. I needed to let it out. "I bet you Jacob is not the only person from my life that I knew. This is so unbelievably frustrating!" I put my head in my hands, trying not to let the tears make their way to the surface. I wouldn't cry over this; I would fight it. I had to get my memories back. I felt Edward's arms around me, trying to comfort me. .

"It's going to be alright Bella," he told me. "You'll get your memory back; these things take time." I couldn't explain why but I instantly felt comforted. It wasn't just Edward's words which helped calm me down. It was more of Edward himself and the way he was making me feel as he held me close. Something about his touch felt right to me; as though with him in his arms is where I belonged. This electricity which I felt ignite as soon as he touched me was not the first time I experienced it and I wasn't sure what it meant.

"What if I never get them back Edward?" I never thought about that until this moment. What would I do if I never remembered? How would I be able to handle having to be taught about how my life was?

"Then you'll have new memories that you will build Bella. I'm just so thankful that you're ok; I don't know what I would've done without you," He told me as he held me tight. I felt my heart ache at the thought of not having him in my life; this too told me something had to be going on with Edward. He pulled back slighlty to look me in the eyes but I didn't know what he was searching for. As he looked at me, I couldn't help but see the memories I had already acquired. I could remember saying I loved him just before the car hit me and I could remember planning Alice's wedding rehearsal with him and how much fun we had. There had to be something more behind the type of relationship we had, I was sure of it. Why else would I have said I loved him right before I was in a car wreck? I sat there as I began to notice Edward start to move closer to me and tilt his head. Was he going to kiss me? I probably should have been hesitant considering I technically didn't know him as well as I was supposed to know I did but something about this told me to go for it. I felt as though it was the best thing to do so I leaned as well. Just before our lips touched the phone rang, causing us both to sit back in our original positions.

"Can you get that?" I asked him, worrying about facing whoever it was that was calling me. What was I supposed to tell people? Sorry I don't know who you are even though I probably have a good friendship with you, I just can't remember? That was horrible.

"Sure," he answered as he smiled at me and went over to the phone. I sat there, thinking over what almost happened. My entire body was ready for him to kiss me. It was though it had been waiting forever to kiss him. So being interrupted didn't sit too well with me. I watched as Edward dealt with whoever had just called me and it happened again.

-My mind wandered to a different place that I could not recognize but I waited for a scene to play out before me until it fully developed. I didn't recognize where I was; it was very crowded with loud music playing. It seemed as though everyone was celebrating something. I looked around, trying to really take in the scene while I had the chance and noticed a banner congratulating everyone on graduation. It was then I spotted myself standing by the refreshments with my sister as a blonde haired guy came over and started bothering me. I moved closer so that I could hear what was going on.

"Come on Bella, one dance," The blonde guy seemed to be very persistant. "You know you want to." He moved even closer causing me to clearly be uncomfortable.

"Mike, I've told you many times I wasn't interested," I answered. So this Mike guy had tried getting to me many times. "What makes you think tonight will be any different?"

"Don't be like that Bella," he pushed, taking my hand though I instantly pulled away.

"She said she wasn't interested." I saw Edward appear out of nowhere stand between me and Mike as though protecting me from the creep.

"Mind your own business Cullen," Mike spat at Edward and I watched as Edward's body tensed. He was trying to keep himself under control and Mike was making that difficult.

"Bella is my business, now get lost Newton." Edward answered through his teeth. I watched as I took his hand to help calm him and he noticed. Unfortunately so did Mike Newton because the contact seemed to bother him.

"Oh so now you two are together?"He asked, anger evident in his voice.

"Yes we are now get away from my girlfriend!"Edward told him. I watched as a small smile formed on my lips when he called me his girlfriend even though it was a cover up to get Newton to leave me alone. Were we dating? I couldn't be too sure but from an outsiders perspective, that's what it seemed like. When he finally left, Edward turned to face me as I let out a deep breath. He cupped my face with both his hands and stared down at me with a strange intensity in his eyes.

"Thanks for that Edward," I told him, causing him to pull back slightly. I guess he had allowed himself to get too carried away. He smiled at me as he dragged me onto the dance floor though I didn't look to pleased with it. "Edward, no you know I can't dance!" I told him, shaking my head in disapproval.

"It's all in the leading Bells, come on," He led me out to the dance floor and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me close as I snaked my arms around his neck. I watched myself as a blush appeared on my cheeks.

"So where's Victoria tonight?" I asked him, instantly confused. Everything I was witnessing was telling me he was my boyfriend...I guess I was wrong. The thought of him with another girl didn't sit to well with me even though I couldn't understand why.

"Who cares," he laughed. "It's over with her." He told me, not seeming too broken hearted over it.

"Another one bites the dust I guess..." I heard myself respond. Edward nodded his head in agreement, unable to surpress laugh. I saw the saddness in my eyes as he laughed about this we weren't together and from the sound of it, Edward dating wasn't something surprising especially if suddenly the relationship abruptly ended. Was he some sort of player?

At this thought, the scene before me instantly changed but I wasn't back in my reality. I was in a new location, one that appeared to be more in our time as opposed to a few years back. The date on a nearby poster indicated it was merely a few weeks ago. I took in my surroundings, realizing I was at some sort of cafe...apparently it was called the Cafe. That's not to original, I thought. Bringing myself back to focus, I watched myself stand, almost hiding behind a booth though I wasn't sure what caused myself to have such a hurt expression. It looked as though I was on the verge of tears. I looked over in the direction to see what was going on and what I saw put everything into place for me. At least this chapter which continued confusing me for days. I saw Edward and some unknown blonde making out at their table. My attention instantly went back to myself, curious to see just how much this was hurting me. I watched as I sat down into the booth, forcing myself to fight back tears but it wasn't working. I was seeing myself go into a panic attack...I felt as though something was missing here. Why would this hurt me so much?Well...it seemed this explained why I was so drawn to him. I knew some pieces were missing but one thing was for sure, it appeared as though I was in love with Edward but he hadn't felt the same for me. With how he'd acted towards me, it seemed like he had feelings for me but, apparently not. Even I wanted to cry at the scene I had just witnessed. I watched as I asked a waitor to help me...he introduced himself as Jacob Black. So that was Jacob...-

Before I knew it, I was back in my new apartment with Edward hovering over me trying to snap me out of my reverie. I blinked a few times, trying to get a grasp on which reality was my reality. Though I knew right away that this was it. I looked into Edward's worried eyes. Instantly I felt confused. If he didn't love me...why was he doing all of this? Why was he wasting his time taking care of me if he didn't love me? I thought he did...all his actions, his glances, his touch...everything had me convinced that he was in love with me. Boy was I wrong.

"Bella, are you ok?" He asked, panic in his eyes. I knew these black outs weren't a good thing but as long as I was remembering things, I didn't care.

"Yea, I'm fine." I told him, pulling myself out of his embrace. I could tell this confused him and I understood. Before I was open to him holding me and almost kissing me but now I was even more confused. I needed to put some distance between us to figure out what everything means. I hated not knowing. "Who was on the phone?" I asked before he could say anything about my newest black out..probably the longest I've had yet. Maybe that meant my memory would be coming back to me sooner?

"Jacob called, I explained to him what happened. It seemed no one had told him about your accident," Edward told me as he studied my face very closely. I still wasn't sure what role Jacob played in my life since I hadn't gotten that far but for some reason he felt important. I didn't feel towards him the way felt towards Edward which told me maybe the relationship I had with Jacob was a close friendship...nothing more. I wanted to go see him. Figure things out but without Edward. I knew it'd hurt him but I just didn't understand and I needed to talk to Alice and maybe even Jacob in hopes they could be answered. I stood up, heading over to the phone and Edward called out to me. "What are you doing Bells?"

"I'm going to give Alice a call, I'm hoping she can take me to the Cafe," I told him before I started dialing.

"You remember that place?" he asked as he approached me but I turned away, trying to keep my focus on my phone call. "Bella..why don't I take you?" But before I could answer him Alice picked up, excited to hear my voice. I told her where I wanted to go and she said she'd be over in a few minutes. I even agreed to go over last minute wedding details even though I was completely in the dark about the wedding. I figured it was the least I could do, especially with the rehearsal dinner being in a few days.

"She'll be here in a few minutes," I told him.

"Bella, what's going on? Why are you starting to act diffferently towards me?" he asked. I could see the hurt in his eyes and that made my heart ache. I didn't want to cause him pain. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Edward...all of this is extremely overwhelming and I can't get my head on straight," I answered him, hoping he would understand. "I just need some time to think it all through. Besides, she wants to go over wedding details so no better time like the present right?" I went over to the counter to grab anything I might need, all while avoiding eye contact with Edward. When I felt his hand touch my shoulder, I tried to ignore the electricity I felt rush through me and attempted to go over towards the closet to find a jacket. It wasn't easy moving around in crutches but I had to do this myself. I just hope he wasn't too hurt by my need to escape his embrace.

"Bella, do you want me to wait for you here?" He asked. I could hear the saddness in his voice.

"You shouldn't stay here by yourself Edward. I'm sure there are things you need to take care of," I never looked up at him when I said this. I was afraid of what I'd see in his eyes.

"Who's going to help you around the apartment Bella? You can barely get around on those things," He pointed out. I knew he was right but I didn't care at this point.

"I'll figure it out Edward," I started. "If anything comes up and I need help, I could always call Alice. She's two blocks away right? Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"Oh...I see," I heard him mumble possibly to himself. "You don't want me here..." Before I could answer him and tell him that was not the case, a loud buzzing sound came in through the intercom. I knew it was Alice...who else would I be expecting? I hit the button to respond, letting her know I'd be down shortly so she didn't need to walk up here. Edward opened the door for me to leave first. Despite the silence between us on our way down, Edward helped me the entire way. He never looked me in the eye and I knew it was my fault. I didn't mean to hurt him; I was just so confused. He brought me over to Alice's car and opened my door for me right before he started to turn and walk away. In that moment I had forced myself to look him in the eyes and was taken back by the amount of pain I saw in them. This was my doing.

"Edward wait..." I called after him, not wanting him to leave thinking I didn't want him to help me or be with me.

"I'll see you later Bella...at the rehearsal dinner. Enjoy your time with Jacob.." He called over his shoudler, refusing to look at me. I couldn't believe the mess I had made with one stupid decision..or better put, indecision. I was an idiot. One thing was for sure though. I needed my memory back now. Not later and I would do whatever I needed to make that happen.

**A/N: so sorry it's taken forever! but let me know what you guys are thinking and I PROMISE, you'll get another chapter soon! I'm already starting the next part...**


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